Sarah shrugged. “We look, but we don’t touch. And besides, my husband does this amazing move—”
“Okay!” Jace cut her off. “I don’t need to know about your sex life.”
“Someone around here needs to have one. Goodness knows you don’t. I thought maybe you needed a mentor. I could mentor you in the art of sexy stripper dancing. Imagine going into the Blossom Café, jumping up on a table, and ripping your shirt off. You’d get a date then.”
“Have you been talking to my mom?” Jace asked as if he were joking, but he wasn’t. His mom was routinely pointing out that he wasn’t getting any younger and had no life outside of his practice.
“Don’t ruin my fantasy by thinking of you as someone’s child. Today you have lunch with Colton. Then guess what you have this afternoon.”
“More physicals?”
“Ding-ding-ding. We have a winner!”
“What do I get as a reward?” Jace asked with a smile. Sarah cracked him up.
“You get the patient in exam room one.” Sarah handed him the file and Jace opened it.
“You’re kidding, right?”
Sarah shook her head. “I wanted a stripper, but not him. He showed it to me twice. I about cut it off the second time, it freaked me out so much. And remember, I was in the National Guard. I was deployed, mind you, more than once. I’ve seen some not so great stuff in my life, but that? That needs to be sliced off. Do the world a favor.”
Jace did everything he could to not laugh as he headed toward exam room one. He flipped the color-coded bar to show Sarah and Molly that he was in the room. When he looked up from the chart, he came face to face with a very red and swollen penis.
“Mr. Chapman, you don’t have to stand on the exam table.”
“I wanted to make sure you got a good look at it. And my balls. Normally I’d be impressed with having balls this size, but that just ain’t right.”
Jace slapped on a pair of gloves and went where no man wanted to go. “When did this start?”
“This morning. I went to bed and everything was fine. I woke up and it’s itching like the devil and so swollen that it looks like I have a hard-on.”
“Have you changed laundry detergent?”
“No.”
“Eat anything new?”
“Nope. Help me, Doc. I don’t want to lose my best friend.”
Jace looked closer and cringed.
“What is it, Doc?”
“Have you been naked outdoors recently?”
Mr. Chapman looked around guiltily. “You know that’s public indecency, and I’m on parole.”
“I won’t tell anyone but I need to know.”
“I might have been outside yesterday evening in the park. Allegedly.”
“Were you allegedly near some trees?”
“How did you know?” Mr. Chapman’s expression was surprised. “Allegedly.”
“Did you allegedly touch a tree and then touch your penis?”
“It was, allegedly, a pretty evening and it got me, um, inspired. If I were so inclined to do something like that, I might have placed one hand on the tree and the other . . . allegedly.” Mr. Chapman looked at his penis. “And then I allegedly might have switched hands as the sun set.”
“That explains it. You have poison oak on your penis and testicles,” Jace said, typing the diagnosis into his backup laptop.
“Allegedly.”
“Nope. Actually. You are very allergic to poison oak, so I’m going to need to give you some prescription medicine for this. No masturbating or sex of any kind until it’s completely healed. I want to see you in three days for a recheck.”
Mr. Chapman’s head hung. “Yes, Doc. No masturbating. Got it.”
“No sexual intercourse either.” Jace tore off the prescription and handed it to him.
“You’re killing me, Doc!” Mr. Chapman yelled as Jace left the room.
Stella looked out over her nursery with satisfaction. Rows and rows of trees, from the common contractor-grade shrubs to exotic specialty ornamentals. And flowers! Spring had sprung with a vengeance as bright colors filled the acres around the office. She was opening to the public right in time for spring planting on Friday.
The office was complete. It looked like a barn but was insulated for winter. The doors could open wide and allow the spring air in during the warmer months. Inside was filled with anything a gardener would need.
She heard the sound of tires on gravel and turned to see her sister-in-law driving toward her. Stella walked toward the SUV as Eden opened the back door and April leaped out. Jimmy barked happily and ran toward his little human.
“Eden, what are you doing here?”
“Two things. First, I have a developer putting in fifty houses who’s looking for landscaping, so I gave him your name. I told him I wouldn’t sell a single house if he didn’t come look at your inventory. He’ll be here in an hour. I know you’re technically not open yet but I thought you could make an exception. He has another three hundred house development planned so if he likes you—”
Stella squealed and threw her arms around Eden. “Thank you so much!”
“If you like that, you’ll love this. I also found a buyer for your house in Lexington.”
“Shut the front door!” Stella’s hand was over her heart as she refused to believe it was true. Rick had been driving her crazy for the last three months. She’d had to change her locks and her garage door code. She kept coming home and finding him chilling in her living room. He refused to believe anyone would leave him and therefore she must be going through “some womanly thing” as he put it. Just this morning she told him she never wanted to see him again. He was even dating Brunette Number 2 from the gym after making his way through the others.
“All cash and you can close as soon as inspections are done. I have them scheduled for Friday while you’re here for the opening, with a closing next Monday. How is the farmhouse coming along?” Eden asked.
“We can drive over and I’ll show you. It’s slow going since I’ve been doing a lot of the work myself. However, it’s totally livable.”
“April, let’s go see Aunt Stella’s house,” Eden ordered to her daughter.
“Have you painted my room yet?” April asked as she ran toward them with Jimmy right on her tail.
“I will tonight,” Stella called out as she got into her truck. Jimmy abandoned her and jumped in Eden’s luxury SUV. She was sure her sister-in-law was cussing up a storm over that.
A quick drive over a hill and through an orchard brought them to the farmhouse. The outside had new wood siding that she’d finished painting white last week. The porch was also new. She’d planned on painting it tonight but would do April’s room instead. In between painting, she’d run to Lexington and start moving her clothes and anything she could fit in her truck.
Her contractor had laid new flooring inside and brought the plumbing and wiring up to code. While they’d been working on that, Stella had installed insulation herself before they hung the drywall. Now she was ready to paint the interior and fill the house with her belongings.