On the plane ride over here––during which I spent intermittently crying my eyes out––I came to a difficult decision. Hope and Love does not reality make. So even though my love stood strong, my heart couldn’t stand to be knocked around anymore. I had to let Scott go.
“Is he here? Do you see him?” Laurel scanned the crowd in the commons. Jackson Hole, it turns out, is jam-packed with fun stuff to do in the summer.
“I’m not looking, Laurel,” I told her, keeping my eyes on the stage and losing myself in the music. “I’m not interested in his comings and goings. This town is big enough for us to avoid each other.”
Close to the stage, I spotted Ryan making eyes at a woman he was talking to. He caught me watching him and made a face, and in return I winked and gave him a thumbs-up. I’d seen a lot of him and the rest of the Lazy S crowd since I’d moved back. I’d made friends here, ones I wanted to keep. I’d been looking all my life for someplace to belong and I’d finally found it. I wasn’t about to give it up because my husband decided to make an appearance now and then.
“Not likely, sweetie. I think he just found you,” Laurel said, breaking into my happy thoughts.
My head whipped around, and my eyes crashed right into Scott’s. On the other side of the crowd, standing on a picnic table, he was staring at me with a harried expression. His hair disheveled, his white t-shirt wrinkled, jeans too. He looked like he hadn’t shaved or slept in days. He was a hot mess. And still so fucking beautiful it was physically painful to look at him.
“Oh, oh, here he comes,” Laurel muttered. “Baby, you want that cotton candy now?” she said to Pete.
“Yeah,” little Pete chirped.
“Yes, ma’am,” his mother corrected.
“Yes, Mama,” Pete teased.
“No, Laurel!” I hissed. “You can’t leave me––”
“Yes, I can. Look at that face.” We watched Scott jump down from the picnic table and elbow his way through the crowd. “That boy ain’t right in the head, and I’m not getting killed in friendly fire.”
Not long after Laurel dumped me like an unwanted pet, Scott walked up. “I’m not doing this with you,” I told him and took off at a brisk walk, heading away from the concert.
“Sydney, please,” he said, voice stressed, dogging my every step. “I’ve been trying to text and call you for weeks.”
“I blocked your ass.”
“I thought so,” he muttered to my back.
I stopped at an ice cream cart, near a bunch of mothers and their kids so he couldn’t talk. A little girl, maybe six, kept looking at my cotton dress.
“You like my dress?” I asked her.
Smiling, she nodded. “You look like a rainbow.”
The white poplin skirt was covered in rainbow-colored pinstripes.
“Rainbows are my favorite,” I told her.
“Me too,” a deep voice to my right interrupted. “Especially when you’re wearing them.”
I rolled my eyes and turned to the kid manning the ice cream cart. “A double scoop of cookie dough ice cream, please.” He handed me the cone while Scott watched, plenty annoyed to have his stump speech interrupted. Naturally, I took my time paying. Once done, licking my ice cream, I walked off. “Leave me alone.”
“I can’t…I love you, Sydney. I love you, and I’m so fucking sorry.”
I wheeled around and nearly crashed my ice cream against his chest. “What is it, Scott? The job too much for you? What are you even doing here?”
“I’m miserable! I’m so fucking miserable without you.” His voice fell. “And it’s not the job…it’s you. I felt the same way every time you left for New York––before Dad died.”
A quick glance around told me we were drawing more and more attention.
“I’m going to be straight with you even though you don’t deserve it because you sure didn’t give me the same courtesy…after which, we won’t speak again.”
My gaze veered to the side. People everywhere. Families. Young couples. Children. I wanted that. I wanted joy in my life and I damn well deserved it. My eyes returned to his face.
“You hurt me worse than any of the countless beatings I’ve taken.” Expression despondent, he jerked as if I’d hit him. “I loved you like I’ve never loved anything or anyone”––tears stung my eyes––“but you used that love against me. You used it to hurt me on purpose without even giving me the chance to explain…and I’m sorry you were in pain, I am. I loved him too. I mourned him too.” I wiped a tear away. “But I’m done crying over this and I’m done hurting over you. I don’t trust your love. It’s as deep as a suntan and I need someone to love me to the bone. I want a divorce, Scott. I want to move on with my life and you should too.”
I left him standing there, in the middle of a magical concert, on a picturesque summer night. I left him and walked home and cried my eyes out. It was much harder than I made it look. I was a good actress after all.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Sydney
“I swear all men are deaf––” Laurel squinted and took another gulp of her margarita.
“Too bad they don’t all look like Drake Wayland,” one of Laurel’s friends said.
“Too bad,” another friend chimed in.
“––and if I’m wrong…well, then we’re all fucked. Because that would mean they’re just plain stupid.” Laurel had started to slur her words an hour ago and I was laughing like a hyena. We were all equally hammered. But hey, I was taking the summer off from work.
Everybody had gone to Laurel and Pete’s for barbecue bonanza, something the locals had started when summer hit. It was the Robinson’s turn to host this week.
“You ladies good on food? Syd? Want another burger?” Pete asked.
“I’m stuffed. Thanks, Pete.” I started drinking shortly after arriving, when I thought Scott might make an appearance. These were his people too, after all. But halfway through the evening, I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized he was purposely staying away.
A letter and a bouquet of black magic roses had been delivered the other day. The letter basically laid out what he believed, that Frank had set the entire thing up. That knowing Scott the way he did, he knew what his reaction would have been once he’d found out. That it was Frank’s last, best maneuver to get Scott to take his place as CEO.
In all honesty, it didn’t sound so farfetched. As a matter of fact, it sounded exactly like something Frank would do. I didn’t want to believe that, all along, Frank’s master plan had been to get Scott to take the position of CEO, but it made sense. It was a classic Frank Blackstone move. Sacrifice the pawn to save the king. Regardless, it didn’t excuse Scott for how he’d treated me, a person he purported to love.
“Hey, man. Good to see you,” some guy I didn’t recognize said. I glanced up and watched him clasp hands with Scott.
“Time for a graceful exit,” I said to our picnic table, a bunch of Laurel’s friends who had welcomed me into their group with open arms.