“I saw that your old album was full,” Shep said tentatively, as if not sure how to gauge her reaction. “I hope it’s okay. I thought you could start collecting new memories... Charlie, say something.”
She looked up him, still so choked up, she wasn’t sure what would come out if she dared tried to speak. Tears coursed down her cheeks. She quickly wiped them away before they fell on the new leather. He looked so worried, so handsome, his eyes so filled with...love. She swallowed the lump in her throat and said the first words that came to her lips.
“I love it. I love...you for remembering.”
Relief washed over his face for a moment before he broke into a smile. “I was so afraid...” He didn’t need to finish.
“It’s beautiful,” she said, touching the warm leather. “It’s perfect.”
She pushed to her feet and stood on shaky legs for a moment. “I did go shopping for you but—”
“No, it’s fine,” he said quickly. “I don’t need anything. I hope you didn’t think you had to get me something. Really, I just wanted—”
“I do have something for you.” She left the kitchen and went to her bedroom. She’d put the envelope in the top drawer of her nightstand. It seemed too small now, too insubstantial, too little, maybe too late above all else.
But she took it out, holding it in her hand, noticing how the paper had yellowed, the edges of the envelope dog-eared from years of carrying it around with her. She took a breath and let it out, her heart so full that she still had trouble breathing, before she returned to the kitchen.
Shep was busy starting their breakfast. She could tell he was embarrassed. He thought he’d put her on the spot with the present. She smiled to herself, seeing that he didn’t want her upset about not buying him anything. That was so like him.
“This is for you,” she said, feeling her own embarrassment at her unsightly gift.
He looked from her to the envelope in her hand and back again. “Charlie?”
She could understand his confusion as he took the battered envelope from her. His name was printed on the outside, the ink faded.
There was a question in his gaze, but he slowly lowered himself into a kitchen chair. She felt her heart rise to her throat as he carefully opened the envelope and took out the single sheet of paper inside.
Dear Shep,
He had been holding his breath but now had to let it out as he breathed and continued reading.
This is the hardest thing I have ever done. It makes the judge’s boot camp seem easy. I love you. With all my heart, which is breaking as I write this. But we are too young. All this happened too soon. I know that but it doesn’t make this any easier.
He had to stop to swallow before he could go on. All these years, he believed that she’d left because she hadn’t loved him. Not enough.
I’m going to leave later tonight, because if I see you tomorrow as we planned, I won’t be able to go, and I have to for both of our sakes. I know you said we would find a way. But I love you too much. I don’t want to keep you from whatever life promises are ahead of you.
Blinking back his own tears, he saw where the paper was wrinkled and the writing smeared from her tears so long ago.
Don’t hate me for taking this way out. If it hadn’t been for you that day on the obstacle course... I owe you whatever good things happen in my life.
I’ll never forget you. I’ll never stop loving you,
Charlie
At the bottom of the sheet of paper was a drawing, reminding him again of how Charlie was always doodling that summer they were together. He studied the doodle and felt his heart stutter in his chest. His throat went dry. “It’s us.”
She had drawn them holding hands as the sun rose behind them.
For a moment, he couldn’t look at her. His eyes burned with unshed tears as he carefully folded the letter and put it back in the envelope with great care.
She had loved him. She hadn’t just walked away as if what they had wasn’t something special. Why hadn’t she gotten this to him? Didn’t she know that he would have moved heaven and earth to find her?
He nodded to himself. She knew. She knew that once he saw this letter, there would be nothing stopping him from finding her, from keeping her. His heart cried out that they could have made it even as young as they were. But his common sense knew what a struggle it would have been. Their love could have overcome the obstacles. He was sure of that. But at what cost?
Setting the envelope carefully on the table, he looked up at her, this woman he’d loved for so long and thought he’d lost forever. They couldn’t rewrite the past. The future stretched out in front of them. If he was smart, if he was lucky, if he was reading the look in her eyes correctly...
“Charlie.”
And then he was on his feet and she was in his arms and he was kissing her and holding her and saying all the things he never got to say to her all those years ago.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CHARLIE HAD TOLD herself all the rational reasons she couldn’t, wouldn’t. But once she was in Shep’s arms again, all those arguments flew out the window. It was Christmas. He’d just given her the best present she could ever ask for. And yet neither of those was the reasons she said yes.
For the first time in a very long time, she didn’t feel the hand of doom hanging over her. There was no dark cloud dogging her. She was stepping into sunshine without an umbrella. It seemed inconceivable, but she wasn’t afraid of what tomorrow would bring. She could embrace the moment without fear.
The look he’d given her had required only one word. Yes. Yes, she wanted him. Yes, she had never stopped loving him. Yes, she could no longer fight it.
The realization had made her laugh with glee. She loved this man. This middle school math teacher who’d come to Bozeman to try to save her because he still loved her even after the way she’d left him all those years ago.
“Yes?” he asked as his gaze locked with hers.
“Yes.” It came out on an excited breath. “Yes.”
Shep laughed and swung her up into his arms. Kissing her, he shoved open her bedroom door and carried her to the edge of her unmade bed before slowly lowering her to her feet.
Their gazes locked. She could feel her own heart thundering in her chest as he kissed her again. Deepening the kiss, her body pressed tight against his. She could feel every hard inch of him. He pulled back only enough to untie the sash on her robe. She felt it fall open, heard his surprise as he looked down at what she was wearing.
“That’s my T-shirt,” he said.
“What’s left of it,” she admitted. “It went from soft to so thin now that...” She didn’t have to tell him that the T-shirt was almost transparent. As his gaze moved over her, she felt her hard nipples pressing against the sheer fabric.