“No one is asking you to make my brothers happy,” Ajay said, crossing his arms over his chest. “But I did ask for your support.”
“And what am I supposed to do to support you? Talk to Zail and say, Listen to your brother. I’m actually a nice person. Yes, that’s going to work really well.”
“Well that’s sure as hell better than escaping and leaving me holding the bag.”
Her fingers clenched the strap of her bag. “I understand that you’re mad at your brother. I don’t appreciate that you’re taking it out on me.”
And because that was exactly what he’d been doing, he felt the rage grow bigger inside of him. Before he could stop himself, he moved in until they were inches apart. “Tell me how you feel about me. Is this just business, too?”
“I thought that we already talked about this.”
“No, we agreed to some terms, used a few labels, but you never shared how you felt. It’s been a week, Raj, but we’ve been dancing around each other since the Gen One gala. Don’t tell me you haven’t figured it out yet.”
She stepped back. “Like I said. We talked about this. I’m referring to how I will only give you what I’m ready to give, and calling me a coward or trying to put me in my place will not work. Call me when you’re done throwing your tantrum, Ajay.”
There was that flicker of doubt in her eyes, and he gripped it with slippery, desperate fingers. This was going to hurt them both, but it was the only way.
“I won’t.”
“Excuse me?”
He moved away from her now, resuming his post near the windows. His brothers’ smiling faces judged him from their frames on his mantel, and he had to force himself to remain focused.
“I won’t call you, Raj. I knew you were going to do this. I knew that after you saw how great we were together you’d use any excuse to backpedal. But you’re right about one thing. It’s your decision. When you’re ready to tell the truth, then you can call me. Until then, I’ll only speak to your attorneys. That’s how you wanted it in the first place, right?”
“Why are you doing this?” she asked, her voice cracking. The sound was deafening to his ears. “I don’t know what you want from me, Ajay.”
“I’ve already told you.” He held his ground, refusing to go to her. “I want you here. I want you with me. I want you to accept that there is something between us, and it’s fucking scary but it’s worth it.”
“I . . . can’t. I have to do what’s best for me.”
“With no care in the world for how it affects other people, right?”
He saw the shock on her face and the hurt. “I knew we’d be done someday, but I never thought it would be so soon,” she whispered. “At your request, we’ll leave this to the lawyers.”
Ajay heard the clear snick of the door closing behind her.
It took every ounce of willpower he possessed not to race after her, to give her whatever she wanted, but he couldn’t. She was the one who’d taught him to never settle for less than what he deserved.
He crossed the room and picked up his phone from where he’d thrown it. The screen had a crack in it. The device still worked, though. He’d just hold on to it and carry it around wherever he was, like tucking it under his pillow when he slept, or putting it on the vanity when he was showering so he could hear it.
If Raj called him and told him how she felt, asked him if they could try again, he’d do everything in his power to prove that she deserved happiness, too, and he was eager to give it to her. But until then, he’d have to focus on his first love.
His father’s company.
The only problem was that work was starting to let him down, too. Hopefully if he put in the effort, things would go back to normal.
That way, Ajay could figure out a way to stop hurting.
Chapter Sixteen
Rajneet
Raj never cried over men, but Ajay had made her weep. Their argument circled her mind as her car carried her along the early-morning New Jersey streets.
She’d felt uneasy from the moment she’d woken up alone in that bed. She’d never experienced the morning-after scene. She couldn’t chance it. After she married, it had been imperative for her to keep her hookups short and sweet. No small talk, no dinner dates, no expectations.
But she’d fallen asleep at Ajay’s house and in his arms. When she’d woken in an empty bed to the sound of his raised voice coming from the living room, she knew that she had to get out of there, go home, and build some space between herself, Ajay, and Ajay’s family.
She pinched the bridge of her nose as the ugly memory of his one-sided conversation echoed in her head. And then, when he’d looked at her, she’d seen pain in his eyes. However, comforting him about the state of his feelings for her were outside the boundaries she’d set for herself and for their relationship.
And then he’d delivered a blow that had rocked her back on her feet. With no care in the world for how it affects other people, right?
Her parents had accused her of the same thing when she decided to stay in the States. Her brother had made the same accusation. Even Robert occasionally used to tell her that she would make decisions and screw the consequences.
Did people really think she was that heartless? That selfish?
Ajay had no right to push her, to demand anything from her. More importantly, if he didn’t get what he wanted, he was supposed to accept it as Raj’s right to choose.
Sure, he’d gotten angry, but she was an intelligent woman who was smart enough to admit that he’d been right about one small detail.
She was a coward when it came to her feelings.
The truth was that she felt safe when she told him her secrets, and it infuriated her that Zail would hurt him the way he did. Ajay took care of her needs, her wants, and given time, he would’ve most likely supported her dreams, too.
From all the things she’d seen and heard in the media, in articles, and from girlfriends, relationships were supposed to be reciprocal. All he’d wanted was the same thing in return and she’d failed miserably.
She just didn’t know how to be there for him in the ways he wanted. So maybe it was a good thing that he’d told her that he wasn’t going to call. If she was destined to fail, then there was no use starting in the first place.
Her phone blinked with a new message and she scrambled for it. Her heart sank when she saw that it was another work email. Brushing a tear from her cheek, she leaned forward so that she could speak to the driver. “Excuse me, sir? Can I send you another address? We need to make a quick stop.”
“Sure,” he said. “Do you know where in Manhattan it is? I was going to take the George Washington into the city.”
“You still can,” she replied. “But you’ll have to take the West Side Highway from there. We’re going to Midtown. I need to stop at an animal shelter to see my dog.”
By Monday morning, she’d gone through the seven stages of grief. True to his word, all questions were forwarded through Legal. He hadn’t even had the decency to send her the formal offer letter as interim CEO. He’d had his chief financial officer and Tushar do the honors.