It was open!
I heard a noise at the end of the motel and saw the clerk walk outside and lean against a light pole at the edge of the parking lot. Crap! He wasn’t supposed to be outside. I pushed the door open and slipped inside. The drapes were drawn on the front window so the room was dark as soon as I pulled the door shut behind me. I felt the wall for a switch but when I flipped it up, nothing happened. It figured. This place was falling apart. Why bother with things like light bulbs?
There had been lamps on the nightstands when I’d fallen through the ceiling, so I walked toward where the bed should be, using the front wall to guide me to the side. When I reached the far wall, I located the nightstand only a couple feet away. I found the lamp, then slid my hand up to turn it on.
And that’s when I heard breathing.
I flipped the switch on the lamp and choked back a cry.
It was him!
The same skinny glowing-white dude I’d almost landed on the last time I’d been here. But this time, he wasn’t naked. Exactly. He was standing in the middle of the bed wearing a mask and a cape. A Hello Kitty mask and matching G-string lay on the nightstand next to me.
“You!” His eyes widened. “No way! This is not going to happen again.”
“It didn’t happen last time,” I said. “And pull that cape around the important parts before I shoot them off.”
My tone must have scared him into action because he flipped the cape around to his front like something you’d see in a vampire movie. Except the back of this cape had lettering on it that spelled out Super Lover.
“I ought to shoot you for that cape,” I said. “Get down off that bed and find some pants.”
“You broke into my room, threatening me with death if I don’t dress to your liking? This is my room. What are you doing here?”
“None of your business. Just get covered with something that’s not so offensive. Or a lie.”
He flushed deep red. “You don’t know anything about me so you don’t know what’s a lie.”
“I know if you’re paying for it, there’s nothing super about it.”
“If you don’t leave, I’m going to scream and call the police.”
I shouldn’t have done it but I couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t know what was worse—his naked grossness, the creepy, inaccurate cape, or the fact that I could hear raised voices in the next room but I couldn’t hear what they were saying because Naked Dude wouldn’t shut up.
I yanked the comforter and his legs flew out from under him. As soon as his body connected with the top of the bed, I threw the end of the comforter over his entire body, rolled him up the bed like a burrito, and shoved the mask into his mouth, drawing the string tighter in the back. Then I hurried to the wall and stuck my ear to it. Naked Dude was writhing on the bed and trying to yell, but he wasn’t making enough noise to mask the argument next door.
“You promised me we’d have the money,” Marissa said. “But you’ve got nothing. Where’s the legal documents she drew up? You said you signed something.”
“I did sign something,” Dexter said. “Jesus, you know I’m not lying about all this. You heard my conversation with Molly. I dialed you up and kept the call connected just so you would stop doubting me. And if you hadn’t been so stupid and screwed up the recording, I’d have it as evidence that the business is supposed to go to me. Not some wannabe baker in this crap town.”
“Maybe Molly was playing you,” Marissa said.
“You think a woman can play me?”
“I think a lot of things. But here’s what I know for certain—I held up my end of the bargain, and now you need to make good on yours. You promised me the money to get to Mexico and live high on the beach every day. And that’s what I expect you to deliver or I’ll just find someone who can.”
“You don’t want to threaten me,” Dexter said.
“That’s not a threat.”
I heard footsteps, then the door opened and slammed shut. A couple seconds later, I could hear footsteps on the stairs, and I peeked out to see Marissa jumping into her car. Ida Belle’s SUV was nowhere in sight. She tore out of the parking lot and then I saw Dexter step out, staring after her. He shook his head and pulled out a cigarette, then went to sit on the top step. Crap. No way was I sticking around in the room with Naked Dude until Dexter finished sulking. It was a brand-new pack of cigarettes. He might be there all night.
I was about to pull out my cell phone and see if Ida Belle and Gertie could figure out a way to get Dexter off the steps so I could get out of there before Naked Dude worked his teeth through that mask and started yelling for the police when I heard a whistling sound. A second later, a bottle rocket hit the steps right below Dexter’s feet and exploded.
He jumped and whirled around as a second one hit him square in the back just as it exploded. He screamed as if he were being killed and bolted for his room door, but he’d managed to lock himself out. He shoved his shoulder against it but he wasn’t even strong enough to take out a door at the worst-built motel in southern Louisiana. More fireworks exploded around him and down on the first floor and he looked my direction, clearly panicked.
Holy crap!
He was going to run for this room and I’d left the door unlocked. I grabbed the Hello Kitty mask and bolted for the door, but Dexter had already grabbed the handle so I tucked myself behind it, barely managing to get the mask over my head and my hands up to block the door as it flew open. Dexter stumbled in, and during his momentary distraction with the man on the bed rolled up like a burrito, I gave the door a hard shove, then jumped out and followed up with a kick directly in his back.
The kick sent him hurtling onto the bed, directly on top of Naked Burrito Dude, who started wailing like a cat in heat. I bolted out of the room and ran for the end of the balcony. I hit it with my midsection and flipped over, landing in the parking lot below, then took off running for the woods at the edge of the parking lot, which is where the fireworks were coming from.
I heard yelling behind me and figured Dexter had spotted me running away. More fireworks lobbed over my head, ensuring he didn’t try to pursue. Not that he could have caught me. I was running like the wind. And gasping like a smoker in that mask, which had absolutely horrible air flow.
I yanked the mask off as I ran into the woods and spotted Gertie with her handbag of goodies at the edge of the tree line. She grabbed the bag and took off through the trees, yelling at me to follow. We skirted the parking lot and then burst out of the trees behind the motel where Ida Belle’s SUV was parked, the doors already open. We jumped inside but as Ida Belle took off, I heard a familiar hissing sound.
I looked back at Gertie as she opened her handbag in a panic.
“We have a live one!” she shouted.
Chapter Sixteen
Thoughts of all the hardware Gertie had pulled out of her purse at one time or another coursed through my mind in a flash. I grabbed it from her lap, opened the SUV door, and chunked the purse into the motel dumpster as we passed. We had barely gotten past it when the handbag blew.
The dumpster rose a couple feet off the ground before slamming back into the concrete. Debris flew into the air, then rained down, covering everything within a thirty-foot radius. Ida Belle took only enough time to shoot Gertie a look that would kill before flipping on her windshield wipers and flooring it. She launched the SUV over the curb and through a large gap in the hedge—courtesy of our last visit—then made a hard right into the alley.