Ida Belle grinned. “Walter, I promise to share my freezer space, except in deer hunting season.”
Everyone chuckled and they turned to face Pastor Don again, waiting for that final declaration that changed everything and yet probably nothing. But as he opened his mouth to speak, one last guest arrived.
Godzilla.
The gator rushed out of the bayou and onto land, creating a small wake. The smell of awesome food had him lifting his snout and then he proceeded directly toward us. Guns came out of holsters, pockets, purses, and bras. I had a moment of probable impropriety when I removed mine from my thigh holster, but the move got an appreciative wink from Carter and a whistle from someone in the crowd.
“Don’t shoot!” Gertie yelled. “It’s Godzilla. He just wants something to eat.”
Ronald jumped up and dug something wrapped in a dishrag out of his enormous handbag. “I brought a small casserole, just in case.”
Of course he did.
“Well, get down there and fling the thing so we can finish,” Ida Belle said. “Pastor Don, get on with it.”
Ronald looked over at Gertie. “May I?”
“Knock yourself out,” she said.
“By the power vested in me,” Pastor Don started up again as Ronald set out with his wares.
He eased toward the beast, holding the casserole out in front of him like an offering to the gods. When he got within pitching distance, he cocked the casserole back to throw and that’s when Godzilla launched. Ronald threw the casserole straight up in the air and ran. The charging gator didn’t even see it land behind him as he rushed after Ronald, trying to lock in his snack. Everyone watched as Ronald ran across the lawn, the cone hat lace streaming behind him. I figured he’d kick off the shoes and make a better go of it, but he surprised me by moving reasonably quickly in the insane heels.
As he ran, he yelled, “Pronounce them, for Christ’s sake! This dress is Dior!”
More adventures with Swamp Team 3 coming late 2020. To receive notification of new releases, sign up for Jana’s newsletter.
If you’re wondering about Fortune’s call name, Keyser Soze, he is a character from Jana’s all-time favorite movie, The Usual Suspects. If you haven’t seen it, you should check it out!