I wavered, wanting to reach out to her, afraid she’d cringe away from me.
Before I’d decided what to do, Sorsha extended her hand to grasp mine. She tugged me down onto the sofa next to her and rested her head against my shoulder. “Thank you,” she said. “For— That guy would have killed me.”
Even with her saying that and with a pang of longing radiating through me to absorb even more of her warmth, I couldn’t bring myself to put my arm around her. I’d saved her, yes, like I’d meant to do, but the way I’d done it— And there’d been a piece of me that had wanted to inflict the same torment on her for my own satisfaction.
She’d looked at me like I was a monster because I was one.
That thought filled my head, blotting out everything else. I’d tried so very hard to exorcise the ferociously hungry side of myself. The one time it had happened before, I hadn’t known where the instinct would lead. I could have believed it was a mistake. Now I knew that wasn’t true.
I was a devourer. I couldn’t stop being one, no matter how long or thoroughly I denied the hunger. Sorsha was in danger while she stayed with us, yes, but not because of our enemies. Because of us.
Because of me.
I could hurt anyone around me if I was pushed the wrong way at the wrong time. Not just her but her friends, her colleagues… Maybe even my own companions. I had no idea how my power would work on a shadowkind, but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t.
The windows darkened as we left the brighter streets of downtown behind. Omen and Thorn emerged from the bedroom, and Sorsha straightened up.
“She’s not well, but she seems to have stabilized there,” Omen said before she had to ask about Gisele. “We stemmed the bleeding. She hasn’t regained consciousness yet. I’m not sure if she will.”
As Sorsha muttered several colorful swear words under her breath, our leader’s gaze shifted to me. Before he’d even spoken, the cool glint in them told me he’d seen my performance of my full powers.
“This might not have been a total catastrophe, thanks to Snap. Did you get anything useful from the one you devoured?”
I’d taken in so much. My mouth opened and closed again with the rush of memory and the sickening mix of relish and guilt it stirred up. I wanted to lick my lips and also to vomit.
“I think he was someone fairly close to the important people in the Company,” I ventured. “It seemed as if he was there for meetings, hearing about some of their plans… something they’re going to do to take away our powers, maybe?”
Sorsha’s head jerked around. “That could be what the experiments are for—to figure out if they can destroy your abilities somehow.”
“There was something else they said…” It was all a jumble now, and it hadn’t totally made sense to me even as it was careening through my head. “Something they wanted to spread and ‘claim’—but maybe that wasn’t about us. I don’t know.” I paused. “I saw one building a few times that he was honored to have the chance to guard. Big with gray bricks and a turret on the right side, a lot of grass around it. I think a tall fence?”
“We didn’t see anything like that when we looked at the places connected to the shell company,” Ruse said, clearly following our conversation from where he sat behind the wheel.
“I don’t know how it fits in,” I said. “There might be more I’ll piece together. It all comes so fast.”
Omen squeezed my shoulder. “Let me know if anything else comes to you that stands out. More of it might make sense as we make additional discoveries via other avenues.” He folded his arms over his chest. “They knew we were coming. They knew what bus to look for.”
Sorsha tipped her head back against the sofa with a groan. “It was Leland—my ex, from the Fund. Ellen tried to warn me, but it was too late.”
Thorn’s expression managed to darken even more. “He told the Company our plans? I should have—He was listening at the hospital. He must have heard you tell the other woman we were making a move tonight. And then we were talking in the other room after. If he came over to the door, he might have heard some of that too.”
“I think I mentioned the lot where we’d been staying with the bus. Shit.” Sorsha’s mouth pulled tight. “From the things Leland was saying at the last meeting, he figured we were the real villains, beating up on innocent humans. He must have decided he had to protect the Company from us.”
“Mostly because he resented you caring what anyone other than him wanted with you, not out of the goodness of his heart, I’d imagine,” Ruse said in a disdainful tone.
A fiery sheen had lit in Omen’s eyes. “Mortals,” he spat out, and then raised his chin, his posture rigid. “We won’t return to the same lot, then. What else did—”
“Sorsha’s wounded too,” I broke in. “Before you ask her any more questions, someone should see to that.”
Not me. Someone who posed less of a threat.
While Thorn sprang to inspect her and grab bandaging supplies, Omen paced, and Ruse shouted suggestions from the front, I slipped away into the shadows. The mishmash of voices from the devouring still jostled in my head, but one fragment pealed clearer than the rest.
Hollow the danger out of those beasts.
My focus curled around the words as if they formed a lifeline. Could the Company do that? Could they carve out the pieces of me that made me truly a monster?
If they could, wouldn’t it be worth the torture that came with it? It wasn’t as if I didn’t deserve to face the same agony I’d inflicted on my victims.
I pulled deeper into the darkness, stitching together a path through the impressions I’d devoured that might take me someplace where I wouldn’t be a threat to anyone.
26
Sorsha
I woke up to a spray of grit pattering against my cheek. As I swiped it away, the morning sun seared my eyes through the broken window above me.
I’d fallen asleep on the RV’s sofa, one arm cradling my head and the other tucked against my bandaged belly. I couldn’t remember deciding to forego the actual bed—everything after the ramming of the armored truck into the Everymobile had turned into a blur.
Birds were chirping outside, and the next gust of wind brought a wash of pleasant warmth along with more grit. I sat up and squinted at the scene outside.
Right. Somewhere during our hasty flight last night, Ruse had switched the RV to its school bus setting. We’d parked in the lot outside a sprawling rural elementary school well outside the city limits. A stretch of trees beyond the lot blocked any view of the nearest buildings. On a Sunday, no one would be bothering us here.
At least, that should be the case. Leland might have overheard us talking about the city bus lot, but I didn’t see how he could have figured out what glamours the RV held unless he’d developed some unexpected supernatural power too. The best we could figure, he’d directed the Company to keep an eye on the Lincoln Road lot last night, and they’d tracked what would have looked to them like a city bus until they’d been able to get into a suitable position to ambush us.