She leaned toward him a bit and looked up into his merry eyes. “But I would like a horse, if that’s possible.”
“You ride?”
The surprise on his face made her laugh. “Yes, but the horse will have to be a sturdy one to carry me.”
He huffed, then leaned down and pressed his forehead to hers. “You are not that heavy, Nella. Any horse that can carry me, will also be able to carry you.”
There it was again, speaking of her size with simple candor and no condemnation. His words touched her more than she could say. “If you are sure, my lord.”
“I am.”
And he kissed her forehead.
Nella missed a step and tightened her grip on his arm. It was the first time he’d kissed her since that awful night of betrayal. The first kiss since they’d wed. It hadn’t been on her lips, but suddenly, that didn’t matter. He’d kissed her. And in broad daylight.
Tears swam in her eyes and she blinked rapidly to brush them away before he saw the wetness that threatened to escape and run down her cheeks.
“So, what plans do you have for tomorrow?” he asked.
She coughed slightly to clear the tears from her throat.
“I thought if the weather was nice I would walk into town. I’m anxious to see the shops. Especially the bookstore.”
“Ah, yes. The bookstore. I should have known.” They walked a few more steps before he said, “I will accompany you, if you don’t mind.”
She stopped. “Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure.”
He looked at her as if he couldn’t believe she doubted he’d want to accompany her.
“Then, some day before I leave, I will take you with me to visit with the Colworth Abbey tenants.”
“Oh yes, do!” she said excitedly. She was anxious to meet James’ tenants. Anxious to be a part of her husband’s country life.
They were nearing home and he dropped her arm, then wrapped his arm around her waist. And pulled her closer.
“It seems we have a busy few days ahead of us,” he said. “A trip to town, choosing the perfect horse for you, then, of course, we’ll have to take your horse out for a ride.”
“Yes, we must,” she said as they reached home.
How she wished life could stay like this forever. How she wished nothing would change between them, but that was not likely. Everything would change after he returned from London. After he realized how much he missed City life when he was in the country. Then, his trips to London would happen more frequently. And they would lengthen. Until he was away from her more than he was with her. And his life would not be one with her, but with numerous females fawning over him and she would be nothing more than a distant memory that he had to check in with every once in a while.
They hadn’t discussed whether or not she expected him to be faithful, but the choice wasn’t hers to make. He would be in London and she in the country.
Heaven help her. She wasn’t sure if she could survive if she had to share him. She wasn’t sure if she was strong enough to discover he made love to other women and pretend she didn’t care.
Yet, the only demand she’d made of him had nothing to do with faithfulness. She would have to live with whatever happened.
~■~
James sat in his study and worked on the account ledgers for the estate. Ordinarily he had no trouble at all concentrating on the task. But lately he found his mind in a war with itself. From day one, he had been determined not to regard the woman who had tricked him into a loveless marriage with anything other than courtesy and, in truth, he felt he was doing just that. It was important that he keep their relationship civil.
He had but one goal where the lady was concerned and that was to get her with a child, then hie himself off to the City to regain his former life. He, of course, might have to spend a few weeks in her company every couple of months to ensure she became pregnant again in case their first child was not the son he needed, or to provide him with a spare.
James threw the pencil he’d been working with on the desk and leaned back in his chair. He hadn’t anticipated the fact that every night with her created more memories. Memories he thought he could easily ignore and forget.
When they’d first married, she’d allowed him to come to her without any hesitation. She had quietly allowed him to make her his wife in the true sense of the word without any emotion. But, over time that had changed.
James filled his glass with more brandy and took a long swallow. Would that things had remained that way. Would that she had not begun to shyly participate. Would that she had never shown any emotion toward what he was doing.
Would that she had never found the need to wrap her arms around his body and hold him close. Would that her gentle moans would not echo in his memory.
He pushed back his chair and rose to his feet. With his glass in hand he walked to the window and stared out into the dismal rain. The weather had prevented them from traveling to town like his wife had wanted to do and he was trapped in the house with thoughts of her that he didn’t want to entertain.
He emptied his glass then turned at the knock on the door. It was her. It was the female he couldn’t shove from his mind.
“My lady,” he greeted.
“Am I disturbing you?”
“No, not at all. Come in. Sit.” He pointed to a chair near the fireplace. “What can I do for you?”
“You mentioned that in a week you would need to go to London on business.”
“Yes.”
“I wondered if I could ask a favor.”
“Of course. What is it?”
“If I would pen some letters, would you see that they are delivered?”
“Of course. I imagine you have friends with whom you would like to keep in touch.”
“Yes. In fact…”
She paused and James could tell her next request was difficult for her to voice.
“Yes, in fact what?”
“I was wondering if it might be possible to invite my two best friends to come for a few days.”
“Of course you may.”
Her loose whey-colored curls fell prettily across her white shoulders as she earnestly expressed her wish. How would one say no?
“I would understand completely if you would rather I didn’t invite guests.”
“No, Nella. This is your home as much as mine. I don’t expect you to closet yourself away in the country, never to see your friends again.”
She lowered her gaze as if she was overwhelmed with relief. Was he really so terrifying to her?
“Thank you, James.”
“I have an idea. What would you think if I invited two of my closest friends to come at the same time? We could make it a house party of sorts.”
“Oh, that would be perfect. Are you sure?”
“Of course I am.”
Her eyes lit up. “Then, I would love it. That would be marvelous.”
“You decide on a time to host our autumn party and I will take care of inviting our guests.”
James wasn’t sure why he’d suggested such a thing, but when he looked at his wife and saw the wetness in her eyes he couldn’t help but wonder what had caused such a reaction.
He bent to place his finger beneath her chin and lifted her head. “What? Are you crying? Why?”