“For real?”
“Yeah, why?”
Bohdan seems to be getting a bit pissy with the interrogation, but when Konstantin speaks next, Bohdan relaxes and grins.
“Would you look at my portfolio for me?” Konstantin asks him.
Bohdan nods. “Of course, man. Of course.”
“Mine too,” Andrius says.
“Yes, I’ll look at yours as well. So if I can afford it, can I build there?”
I look again at where he’s pointing and see the appeal straightaway. It’s set back from the rest, and there’s what looks like a natural wildflower meadow to one side. To the other are some wooded paths, and then the cliffs and the ocean beyond, sparkling blue in the afternoon sun. It’s a stunning spot. A place anyone would be over the moon to call home.
For a moment I get a blinding flash of a different life. I assumed this was a very nice holiday in Greece, but at some point, I’d go back on the road, performing. My mother would probably become my assistant and organize all the technical side of things, and we’d bicker our way around Europe. I’m sure she’d prefer to be my manager but I don’t trust her enough to give her any actual control. I’d maybe see Bohdan on breaks, if he waited around for me. Then what?
In a few years, I’d find the work drying up as I aged. I’d either start teaching newcomers, move into choreography, or become some Grand Dame of the scene, touring the TV studios and reliving my past glories. Do I want that? I always thought I wouldn’t want to teach, not in Paris certainly. But here? I imagine having a summer school near where Bohdan wants to build us a house, and something akin to excitement unfurls in me.
Why not leave on a high? If I retired now, I’d be doing so on my terms, and at the height of my fame. From what my lawyer has told me, if we can get the money I am owed from Jasper, I won’t have to work again if I don’t wish to. I’m not a woman who wants a fancy lifestyle, and with the million or so euros that I am fighting for, that would keep me for many years.
What if I just stayed here? In this beautiful place? With these people who I grow to like more and more each day.
Furthermore, with Bohdan. A man I am realizing means way more to me than I’ve been letting myself admit. He says I was always it for him, but I’m starting to realize it works both ways. On some level, he’s always been it for me too.
I never truly got over him, and when I saw him again in that corridor at the theater, it was the shock of my life. I honestly felt as if I’d been kicked back to life by some sort of emotional defibrillator, and I’ve been alive in that way ever since.
For years I had felt nothing. Only numbness and cold, hard rage. Now, I feel things every day. I laugh and smile, and I sit in the sun. Some days we go and swim with Cassie and Konstantin.
He scared me at first. The man is massive, and he’s gruff, and his natural expression seems to be a scowl, but he looks at Cassie like she hung the moon and stars for him. No one can be too scared of a man capable of looking at a woman that way.
Reece, their other partner in this venture, came and went again. He’s sorting things out in the UK with his wife. She wasn’t with him, but when he moves out here fully, she’ll come. They’ll all be here, these happy families, with their dogs, and I could be too. Mr. Bojangles is a huge hit; they all love him. I could bring my cats and my birds, and we could all be free here in the sun.
It’s taking a huge risk, and it’s not something I find easy to do after the mistakes I made in trusting Jasper, but if my lawyer can help me out, I’ll have my own money, and I won’t need to rely on Bohdan financially. It means I can give this a try, and if it doesn’t work, I have an out. Not like with Jasper where I was tied to him so tightly it felt like I’d never be free.
I glance at Bohdan, and my tummy does that flip-flop feeling it does around him these days. He’s so damn handsome. I think I’m in love. Maybe for the first time in my adult life, I’m in love. I thought I loved him as a teenager, but that was different than this. This is deeper. We spend a lot of time together, and we enjoy one another’s company. Bohdan is like me; he’s quiet deep down. I find him restful to be around.
There’s a lot of noise, and some activity behind us as I turn to see two men approach. One is very handsome, Bohdan levels of handsome, which you don’t see often, and the other is huge. He is absolutely massive, just muscle on muscle.
“Malaka,” the handsome one shouts at Andrius who grins, goes to him, and pulls him into a manly backslap.
I know what malaka means. It’s a Greek word that means wanker, and seriously, the Greeks on this island use it all the time. They love the word. It’s like their favorite word ever.
Introductions are made, and I learn the men are called Alesso and Damen. They are staying until late tonight when they take a flight back to Athens.
Cassie and Violet run off together chattering about making a huge Mezze, a Greek version of Tapas where instead of lots of small plates, you often get two or three huge platters groaning with a mix of foods. I hang back, unsure where I fit in here.
I like being with Bohdan. The women here? They are nice, but they’re very girly. They cook, and bake, and coo over the baby, and I don’t fit in with them. I’ve never been very feminine. I look it, with having long hair and being so small, but I never played with dolls as a child, except for ballet dolls. Baby dolls never interested me, and once Jasper told me cruelly that it was a good job I lost the ability to have kids as I’d have made a terrible mother. I kind of think he might have been right because I don’t get all giddy over babies. I like children, but I tend to like them when they become little people and you can talk to them. Babies, not so much.
I believe all my feminine impulses went into ballet. The costumes, the dances, it was my obsession. I had a friend who was the same over horses, and now she works in a dressage school. She loves it. Horses are her life. For the longest time, ballet was my life, and I’m not sure I know who I am without it.
That evening we all gather at the huge outdoor table Andrius and Violet have to the side of their house, on the spacious patio. There are candles burning all around, the pool is lit, and the sun is setting. It’s a stunning scene.
I sip at a glass of wine, a local village wine, apparently, which is delicious. My mother turned down her invite. She refuses to mix with the people here. Her disdain for them is mortifying. We’ve always had a tricky relationship, but these days she’s making me actively dislike her. Every time I see the scars on Bohdan’s legs I want to march into her room and throttle her. How could she do that? How can she still believe she was right to, despite what happened to Bohdan because of her actions?
I glance at him now and smile to myself. And how can he forgive her? It shows what a huge heart he has.
The setting sun casts Bohdan in a golden light. His hair is a little longer than it was when he first arrived in Paris, and it glints lighter at the ends where it’s changed in the sun. His skin is golden, and his eyes are so blue. He’s laughing at something Alesso is saying, and my heart starts to beat entirely too fast.
God, he’s beautiful, and kind, and I’m a mess. One day he’ll realize it. He’ll look at me and see me for what I really am. A messed up, neurotic weirdo who can only feel good when she’s dancing or with him. Has he become my new addiction? Replaced the dancing as the only way for me to feel remotely calm?