‘No, too busy feeling sorry for myself,’ I admitted with a rueful sigh.
‘I find it makes me feel much better, even though the old hips aren’t too keen and my bunions like to put in the odd complaint. But it releases an endorphin or two and a bout of gratitude that I’ve survived another one. To be honest, my little daily jog is the only way I can survive the dullness of each day at Drearyside.’ Despite the wicked twinkle in her eyes, there was a very slight droop to her mouth.
With a moment of sudden insight, I realised that Hilda and I, despite the disparity in ages, had more in common than differences. She was as adrift in her own way as I was.
‘Would you like to come to lunch on Saturday?’ I asked impulsively.
‘That’s very kind of you. I’d love to,’ said Hilda, her mouth curving into a huge smile. ‘Do you serve decent coffee?’
I laughed. ‘Would you like one this morning?’
‘I thought you’d never ask. You go do your run. I’m going to stay here and do a spot of Tai Chi. You know, a few Snake Pounced On by an Eagle movements and a Kicked up the Arse by a Donkey pose.’ She grinned and I wasn’t sure if they were real things or not. Knowing her, as I was coming to, I suspected she might have made them up.
‘Thanks for the tissues.’
‘Anytime, dear,’ she said gazing off into the distance as she held her arms aloft, striking the most peculiar pose. I guessed she knew what she was doing.
‘I’ll do my circuit and bring you coffee.’ It was the least I could do when I’d just sobbed all over her for no real reason. Now I’d calmed down, I couldn’t quite understand why I’d got myself into such a state. Maybe I wasn’t fine… no matter how much I kept telling myself I was.
Cresting the rise of the hill, I tried to convince myself that today I was breathing more easily. I spotted Ash in the distance in the same shapeless grey tracksuit and if I’d had the puff to do it, I would have laughed out loud at the comedy-gold moment of him trying to run with a dog weaving in and out of his legs and wagging its tail as if this was the greatest game ever. It was the same dog I’d seen the other day in the park with the girls. Although, as I grew steadily closer, Ash made the mistake of stopping and addressing the dog in a serious way. I watched as the dog sat down and stared up at Ash as if paying careful attention to every word, occasionally tilting his head to one side. Clearly happy with the lecture he’d delivered, Ash gave the dog a nod goodbye, a ‘stay’ wag of the finger and jogged away, giving a last glance over his shoulder to check the dog remained seated.
As I approached him, Ash gave me a brief nod of pride as if to say, champion dog whisperer right here, and then passed on by. He’d never responded to my text but then, I hadn’t really expected him to. It was a puzzle as to why he’d exhibited so much antipathy. I ran a few more steps and then began to laugh to myself because the dog leapt to his feet, trotted past me, and when I looked behind me he was trotting along, following Ash at a safe distance. So much for dog whispering skills. What would Ash say when he realised the dog was still on his tail?
Today, I forced myself to add in an extra loop of one of the paths which circled past the pretty bell-topped bandstand which could have done with some TLC and a small neatly-pruned rose garden, before finally wending my way back to The Friendly Bean. Surely I must be up to 4k by now.
‘Back again,’ observed Sascha. ‘You’re a glutton for punishment. Just watching you makes me feel like I’m burning a few calories. You need one of our loyalty cards. You get a free coffee every time you buy six.’
‘Well at this rate, it’s probably worth doing. I’d like two today.’
‘Just moved here?’
‘I’ve been here about six months. On Park Road.’
‘Nice,’ she said, pouring frothing milk into mine and Hilda’s cappuccinos.
‘Mmm,’ I said noncommittally. The house was nice but could be so much nicer still. That would be my next project. I’d start this weekend as soon as the girls had gone.
‘Same time tomorrow?’ she asked, handing over the coffees.
‘Probably,’ I nodded. Routine, Hilda had said. That was what I needed – not just the children, although I only had them for one more morning, but me too. Next week I wouldn’t need to do the school run but I would still set my alarm clock and do my circuit of the park. And then I’d start properly on doing up the house.
I picked up the two coffees and headed for Hilda and her bench.
I was greeted with a bark and a bundle of wiry fur jumping up at me, towards the coffees. I held them stiff-armed, up and out of reach, while Ash, with unexpected gallantry, leapt to his feet and put himself between me and the dog.
‘Down,’ he said firmly in an authoritative voice that gave me a spine-tingling reminder of the old Ash.
‘Ash has got a new friend,’ announced Hilda blithely, reaching for her coffee.
‘So I see.’
Ash shot us both a lacklustre, weary glare, as the lurcher slunk over and sat at his feet, looking up at him with adoration. In that instant, I wanted to shake him, like a snow globe, to wake up his emotions and become that vibrant, exciting man I’d met before. But then maybe he thought the same when he saw me; I wasn’t exactly firing on all cylinders these days. But that was all about to change. I was going to make the most of this time before I went back to work. Get as fit and healthy as possible so that when I did go back, I’d be a super-improved version of me.
‘He was here the other day at the playground.’ I sat down next to Hilda and watched as the dog tilted one enquiring, lopsided ear at my voice.
‘Poor thing’s been abandoned. See, he’s starving… the way he’s sniffing the coffee.’ Hilda calmly pulled two pieces of toast wrapped in clingfilm from her pocket.
‘I was saving these for later but I think his need is greater, isn’t it sunshine?’
The dog was immediately at her feet, one foot pawing the ground with a gentle whine.
‘Here you go boy. Only marmalade I’m afraid but better than nothing.’ She held out the piece of toast; the dog rose onto its hindlegs and snapped it out of her fingers, before backing away a safe distance. It dropped the toast onto the floor and chased it with desperate hunger around the paving stone before finally manging to hold it down with one paw to gain purchase.
‘Do you always come armed with toast?’ asked Ash, as the three of us watched the dog slavishly rounding up every last crumb.
‘Armed and dangerous, me,’ said Hilda with a chuckle, tossing the second piece to the dog, who gave a little yip of pleasure and repeated the same little dance before pinning the toast down and wolfing it down in a couple of mouthfuls.
‘The wardens make a fuss if you don’t eat breakfast. I wasn’t hungry this morning but they only agreed to release me into the wild when I said I’d take my toast with me for my constitutional.’
‘Poor chap is starving,’ I said as the dog came to sit in front of Hilda, his warm brown eyes full of hope as he gazed up at her.
‘Yes, he needs a good meal. Ash, you’ll have to take him.’
‘Me!’ Ash sat up straight, as though he’d been poked with a cattle prod, a familiar golden flash in his eyes which caught me unawares.