"Please, Wolfe," I beg. "I don't understand. You don't want me to speak the name of another man because it’ll upset your wife?"
His grip on my arms gentles and his face softens. "I don't want the woman who will become my wife to speak the names of other men, especially men that she has worked and fought alongside."
"It almost sounds like you're saying that I will be your wife." I laugh nervously. "But that can't be possible."
He doesn’t answer but drops my arms and steps away from me. I can tell by the shutter settling over his features that he’s done talking. I’m lucky I got as much as I did.
“Please let me talk to my team before you eject them from the city.” He ignores me and heads for the door. I call after him. “Wolfe!” He stops but doesn’t turn around. “I promise you, they are very loyal to me. If you don’t let me talk to them then they won’t leave. They might leave the city on your orders, but they won’t leave the area. Not until they get me back.”
He half turns, his gaze still not touching mine. “Then they will be killed.”
I take a few steps toward him, my mind racing. I believe he’ll do exactly as he says. He won’t hesitate to kill anything that gets in his way. This is the strange dichotomy that is the new Santa Fe Warlord. He will grant Sanctuary to old women, incapable of having babies, yet he’ll remorselessly kill my team if they defy him.
Finally, I use a weapon that I’ve been hesitant to use, because it means admitting that Wolfe has feelings for me. "If you kill any member of my team, then I will never soften toward you." His eyes rise to meet mine, as if trying to read the truth there. "I will not condone the murder of innocents."
"You will do as I say," he says simply, and then leaves.
Once again, I’m left alone in the harem with more questions than answers.
Thirteen
I'm completely taken off guard when, less than an hour later, Wolfe strides through the door of the harem with Deacon in tow.
"Deacon!" I exclaim, taking several steps toward him.
The look on Wolfe's face stops me in my tracks. His stare is hard and filled with violent promise. Without a single word he’s warning me away from touching the other man.
As if sensing the same thing, Deacon keeps his distance. I'm relieved to note that he looks completely fine, not a single mark on him. This helps ease some of the anxiety of being separated from my team – a group of people I've spent every single day with over the past several months.
"The Warlord says you have something to say to me," Deacon says, his voice hard with dislike.
I glance at Wolfe, but he remains silent. I realize he’s brought Deacon here so I can convince him to take the team and leave. I'll have to choose my words carefully, so I don't accidentally risk the other man's life.
"Wolfe has informed me that you’ll be leaving the city without me." I try to keep the bitterness from my voice so as not to antagonize the big Warlord listening to every word.
Deacon nods. "He's told me the same. We have your back though, we're not leaving without you."
I give him a half smile and shake my head. "I knew you would say that, and I really appreciate it. It's good to know that my team doesn’t want to leave without me."
"We won't have it any other way," he says, narrowing his eyes in Wolfe’s direction before continuing. "We need our leader if we're going to continue this mission."
Though it pains me to say it, I give him the words I know he needs to hear to move on without me. "No, you don't. You never really needed me. You're the strength behind the team, the protector."
"But your blood – ”
I cut him off before he can continue. "You have my blood. You have everything you need to continue. If anything, I've been more of a hindrance to you. Now, you can move easier, go to the next Sanctuary. Spread the vaccine as far as you can."
"You know that's not true!" Deacon explodes, taking another step toward me. He ignores Wolfe who shadows him, prepared to intervene if Deacon gets too close. "You are our leader. You hold us together. You convince us to keep moving every time we lose someone, every time we’re attacked. We can't do this without you."
Tears rush to my eyes and I look down at the floor. I'm going to have to change tactics or I'm never going to convince Deacon to leave, and I know that Wolfe is deadly serious when he says he'll take them out if he has to.
"Well that's too bad." I keep my eyes on the floor and try to harden my voice, to keep the ache from it. "Because I'm not going with you." I raise my eyes to his, trying to convince him in a single cool look that I'm serious. "Wolfe has offered me the position of wife to the Warlord. This position will come with the kind of privileges that I was used to having before the fall of my Sanctuary. I want them back. I don't want to travel anymore. I'm done pretending that I'm some kind of warrior woman. This is where I want to be."
At first, Deacon looks taken aback, like I just slapped him in the face. He searches my face as though looking for answers, but not finding what he's looking for. Finally, he shakes his head.
"I don't believe this."
"I'm sorry. You're going to have to leave without me." I can barely raise my voice above a whisper. Pain is blossoming in my chest, stealing my breath and my words. It's strange; I knew leaving the team would be emotional, but it feels like leaving my family behind.
I'm always leaving my family behind.
Deacon shakes his head again. "No, what I'm saying is, I don't believe you. I think you're saying what you think you need to say to get rid of us. And I think you're doing it because of him." He turns to stare at Wolfe with hatred.
Wolfe's hand drops to the dagger on his belt, a clear warning that Deacon should back down. Of course, my second-in-command does not back down. He’s as bad as Wolfe when it comes to arrogant pride.
"You got a problem with us you take it up with me,” Deacon says belligerently. “Leave Skye alone."
Even I can see the problem in Deacon's words. He has no one and nothing to back him up. There are eight people left on the vaccine team, not nearly enough to take on the security forces within this Sanctuary. As this is an obvious point, Wolfe doesn't bother to answer him.
"He's not going to let me go." I don't know what else to say. I pace away from him, my feet tapping against the stone floor in frustration. Finally, I turn back to them. I tried a lie, now I’ll try the truth. "If you don't leave, he'll kill you."
Deacon opens his mouth to speak, probably to tell me that he doesn't care. I interrupt him, "He won't just kill you; he'll take out the whole team if he thinks they're a threat. You need to take him seriously. Wolfe always follows through on his threats."
Hands on his hips, Deacon stares at the floor, his mind working as he tries to decide what to do. Finally, he nods. "Fine, we’ll leave. We’ll continue the mission." He lifts his head and pins me with a look. "We won't forget you. We'll be back."