And keeping my parents off my back was definitely a good cause.
I hated lying to my aunt, though. I glanced at her. She’d probably understand exactly why I was doing it.
I kissed her cheek and she smiled. “Bye, Auntie,” I murmured.
“See you soon.” She squeezed my arm.
Mom followed in my every step as I walked to the front door, then stood and watched me walk down the path, her smile almost lighting my way. I shook my head as I climbed into my car and drove home.
Man, I needed a drink.
Once home, I grabbed my cell from my pocket and dialed Micah, a pediatrician at the hospital and pretty much my only friend.
“Dude!” He yelled the word, and I pulled my phone away from my ear at the volume of the chatter in the background of our call.
“I called to ask if you wanted a drink, but maybe you’re already having one?” After an evening with my parents, alcohol seemed like a good solution for most of the world’s ills.
And it was one of the times I allowed myself to drink, when I wasn’t on shift for at least another day and a half.
“You know it.” He chuckled. “But grab a cab and get your ass down here to join me.”
“Sure. Where are you?” I pulled the business card for the cab firm off my noticeboard as I spoke.
I hadn’t even taken my coat off yet, so this could be a quick turnaround.
“Hot Toddy’s—the place is pumping. I’ll have a drink ready for you.” He hung up, leaving me deaf in the sudden silence.
I dropped my head back and groaned. For fuck’s sake. Toddy’s? I dialed the cab anyway, even though that was the last bar I wanted to go to. Micah was a good friend, and I wanted to spend some time with him.
I had the cab drop me off around the corner from Toddy’s. Micah was out, loud and proud, but I wasn’t even gay and just being seen here would result in rumors and total disinheritance by my homophobic—to say the least—parents. I couldn’t afford to be recognized.
I skulked to the front door, almost as stealthy as any ninja as I stole from shadow to shadow.
When I walked inside, I spotted Micah immediately and headed in his direction. He nudged a drink toward the empty chair he drew up alongside his own. I sat down, slumping as low as I could without drawing additional attention to myself while I was trying to hide.
Luckily, the colored lights only swung in my direction sometimes, and there was plenty of dried ice out on the dance floor. Enough so the dancers looked like writhing shadows, anyway.
A shudder stole through me as memories of the exploratory kisses I’d shared with guys in dark corners of bars exactly like this one surfaced in my mind. I’d been kind of curious in college, but that was all behind me. Nothing went beyond experimentation, and I squashed any further curiosity.
It was safer not to test those waters. Ever again.
“Glad you could make it!” Micah lifted his glass in my direction and I chinked my beer against his, moving out of the way as foam slopped over the side and landed in a messy puddle on the table.
My smile was weak, but at least I managed one. My head was still too full of my parents.
“Hard evening?” Micah had his sympathetic voice on.
I nodded. “Dinner with my parents.” My skin heated at the memory of lying to them, and I took another gulp of my beer to cool my temperature.
“Oh.” His one syllable said everything.
My parents hated Micah because he liked guys and didn’t hide it. I loved him for the exact same reason—he lived his life without fear of what anyone else thought.
“Get this man another drink,” Micah shouted. “He’s the most needy guy in here right now.”
Several heads swiveled in my direction and I ducked down a little.
“Micah!” I hissed his name as panic unfurled in my chest.
“Oh, relax.” He nudged my shoulder as someone plunked another glass of beer in front of me. “It’s not like anyone can see anything in here, anyway. Toddy’s is almost famous for its shadowed hook-ups. Tell me about today. It’s not often I can persuade you out this way, so something must have happened.”
I shook my head but then I nodded it instead. “Work was shit. Dinner was shit. I needed a drink.” I took another draw of my beer. Talking about my crap day had reminded me of the beer in my hand.
“I can guess how dinner went. What happened at work?”
“Ugh.” I groaned and bowed my head. “Work and dinner are closely tied together, man. I can’t even.”
“But a problem shared is…”
“Still a problem.” I clinked his glass again. “And I’m sure you don’t want to know mine.” In reality, I just didn’t want to relive it. Not at the volume I’d have to yell it over the music pumping through the bar.
“Humor me.” Micah smiled, and he knew I could never resist that damn grin.
“You know what it’s like at home. Just constant pressure to be the son and person they want me to be.” Even to my own ears, I sounded defeated.
Micah scoffed. “Your parents are just dicks, man.”
I chuckled, because neither the opinion nor the fact Micah was voicing it was anything new. But I grew serious again quickly. “And things have gone to shit at work.”
“Oh?” Micah raised a dark eyebrow. “How so?”
I rolled my eyes as the memory of the meeting in Dr. Crow’s office replayed itself in my head. “Apparently I have to compete for the promotion.”
Micah laughed. “That’s kind of the way they usually work, though, right? No one just gets handed a promotion.”
I laughed too, but the sound was harsh and bitter. “I bet Kairo Caldwell thought he would have exactly that.”
Micah’s eyebrows rose almost into his hairline as his grin widened, his white teeth almost glowing against his dark brown skin in the strobe lights. “I see. It’s all becoming clear now.”
I nodded as I slowly sipped my beer, my frustration lessening as my friend started to understand the frustrations of my day.
“You do know, though, that your biggest problem with Kairo is that you have a crush on him?”
I whipped my head toward Micah. What? What the hell did he think he was talking about? I patted my chest as I inhaled my beer rather than swallowing it. Well, that was what happened when your best friend attempted to give you a coronary in the local gay bar you didn’t even like to visit, I guess. Trying to keep myself on the down-low then drawing all of the attention while I struggled not to choke. The perfect end to a perfect day.
“You’re insane.” I forced the words out between the gasps for breath that rattled into my chest.
But he just waved a hand and shrugged like my opinion on my own feelings didn’t count for a whole lot. “I remember med school, though,” he said. “The sexual tension between you and Kairo was always cranked up to high.”
Disbelief at his words stunned me. “What? That’s absolute…” I grasped for the perfect word. Oh, yeah. “Bullshit.”
But Micah just side-eyed me. He was so not buying my denial, which wasn’t great, considering I was telling the truth.
Okay, so I wasn’t going to lie and say I couldn’t recognize when a guy was attractive. But I didn’t need to be gay to use my eyes and form an objective opinion based on looks. “I think”—my tone turned haughty and a little bit cold—“you’re mistaking impartial acknowledgment of another guy’s attractiveness for something far more than it is. I can just see when another guy has good features. No shame in that game.”