I wanted to know more. Wanted to understand this role and my place in it. How I could embrace it more fully.
I used my power, trying to draw information from the wood beneath my fingertips. Generations of my ancestors had sat here. It might have taken me a long time to find my way home, but I had.
Finally, I was here.
The air warmed around me, vibrating with energy. I pulled out the book that Evangeline had given me, gripping it tight. I didn’t need to be able to read the strange symbols inside to feel their power and their history. It sang through me.
My magic turned inward, filling my soul and seeming to pull my consciousness away from the present. One moment, there was nothing behind my eyelids. The next, I stood at the entrance to a tunnel.
It stretched out in front of me, dark and cold. Beckoning. Fear sliced through me.
Could I do it?
Walk through that tunnel and find what was on the other side?
I had to.
Somehow, I knew that I had to. Answers were on the other side. Or maybe strength. Growth. Something.
I took one slow step forward, then another. Everything inside me screamed with anxiety, but I kept going, walking into the darkness. The future was unknown and so was my role in it, but if I just kept moving forward and trying, then I would get somewhere.
The air grew colder as I walked deeper into the tunnel but, somehow, I felt less alone. The future beckoned to me, and I knew the tunnel would end.
Almost abruptly, it did. I exited into a glowing white room, feeling my body return to the leader’s chair in the Shadow Guild tower.
All around me, figures appeared. Men and women, most of them dressed in ancient garb. I spotted Evangeline, standing next to a woman who looked just like her. Her daughter, maybe. The baby I’d seen, all grown up.
A feeling of warmth and love surrounded me. This was my family. The long line of them—gone, but not entirely.
A woman stepped out from the crowd, immediately recognizable, even though I’d never seen so much as a photo of her.
My mother.
I surged upright, moving toward her. She held open her arms, hugging me tightly. Joy exploded inside me, warmth and strength.
“You are strong,” she whispered against my ear. “You can do anything.”
“I love you.”
She hugged me tighter. “I love you, too. More than anything. I’m always with you, even if you don’t see me.”
My soul seemed to expand, filling with the love and support of the family I’d never met. I wanted to stay like this forever, hugging my mother in the perfect silence of this magical space.
But Grey.
I couldn’t stay.
He needed me.
The Shadow Guild needed me.
As if she understood, my mother drew back. She looked at me with such love and pride that I thought I might explode on the spot.
“You can do this.” She squeezed my arms tightly, then disappeared.
The rest followed, leaving me in the real Shadow Guild. My friends stared at me, eyes wide and concerned.
My family.
I had more than just my blood family. I had them. My chosen family.
18
Carrow
Suddenly, everything felt so much better.
“Carrow? Are you all right?” Mac asked.
“Fine.”
“You look a bit pale.” Beatrix frowned. “And you zoned out there for a while. Very weird.”
I stood, my soul full and my magic strong. Everything was calmer in my mind, though fear still nipped at my heels. I shoved it back.
“You look good there.” Mac gestured to the chair. “Real natural.”
“Feels okay, too.” I smiled, though it wasn’t a large one. My heart thundered as my mind raced. “I need to find Grey.”
“I don’t think he’s with me,” Eve said. “Not the way Beatrix was. I haven’t seen anything out of the ordinary.”
I clutched the book, my mind racing. Where would Grey go for strength? For the energy required to stay on this plane?
Suddenly, it occurred to me.
“I need to go.” I stood, shoving the book into the pocket of my full skirts.
“Care to clarify?” Mac asked.
“I think I know where Grey is.”
“Want company?” Seraphia asked.
“Part way there?” I looked at them all. “To his tower?”
“Sure,” Quinn said.
The rest nodded. I hurried from the building, unable to keep myself from running. I sprinted through the quiet streets of Guild City, scaring pigeons and annoying night-hunting cats when I disturbed their prey. My friends kept up with me as we raced along.
Not a single one of them had any idea what was going on, but they stuck with me. It gave me strength, the same way that seeing my mother and other members of my family had.
Finally, I reached the courtyard in front of Grey’s tower. The building rose tall and dark against the night sky, the glass a deep, blood red. The doormen stood by the entrance, their gazes impassive.
They still had no idea about Grey.
I wouldn’t tell them.
Both bowed, then opened the door for us. I hurried into the lobby, spotting Miranda by the front podium. She wore a long black silk robe, her hair piled on her head. Her eyes were red, as if she’d been crying, and she stood still as a statue.
“You know,” I said.
She nodded, gaze vacant. “I felt it.”
“I need to go to his quarters.”
Her gaze sharpened on me. “Why?”
“I’m going to try to bring him back.”
Confusion flickered in her eyes, but she asked no questions. “You’ll find it unlocks for you.” She gestured to my friends. “They can wait in the bar.”
I nodded. She was right. As much as I valued their support, they shouldn’t be in Grey’s private flat. I turned to them. “Thank you for coming.”
“Duh,” Mac said.
Everyone else’s expressions reflected the same. Of course they had come. Miranda led them away, and I turned and raced down the hall. When I reached his door, my heart began to thunder, my skin chilling.
Please work.
I prayed I was right about this.
Quickly, I pressed my palm to the door. Magic sparked under my hand, and the locking charm broke. I pushed open the door, stepping into the quiet silence of the room.
It was so different than how I’d seen it last. Modern and clean-lined. The contrast reminded me that I was still in the heavy dress, but it didn’t matter.
I strode to the bedroom, moving quickly toward the massive, enchanted window that revealed an expansive view of the Carpathian Mountains.
I’d admired this view since I’d first been in this room. Only recently had I learned what it meant to him.
Please be right.
I strode toward it, already anticipating the cold. When I reached it, I didn’t hesitate. I just stepped toward the huge window, praying that I wouldn’t smash my foot on glass that I didn’t fully believe existed.
It went right through the glass as if there were nothing there at all. My foot sank into cold snow on the other side, and I stepped fully through the window.
Icy wind buffeted me, snow pricking against my skin. In front of me, mountains rose high against the sparkling night sky. A full moon and thousands of stars shone on the snow, making it look like the earth was frosted in crystals.