“We’re taking a break,” she finally said. It was an honest answer, and one that she hoped wasn’t misleading. She liked John. She wanted to spend time with him. But she was still a married woman.
He nodded as if he understood, or perhaps had been through something like this himself. “So he’s not coming here then?”
“No,” she said. He was never there. And that was the problem.
And John…he was here. He was everywhere she turned. But more than that, he was present.
Chapter Sixteen
Gemma
When Leo said they should get out, he was true to his word. Out didn’t mean sitting in one of the dimly lit pubs near the harbor, nor did it mean sipping coffee at the Cottage Coffeehouse.
She stood outside the Birchwood Stables, staring at the backside of a white horse named Sonny. “You can’t be serious,” she finally said.
He tossed her a grin. “You’re going to tell me that you summered here every year and never learned to ride a horse?”
“Of course I learned to ride a horse,” she said, throwing him a look of mock exasperation. She swallowed her nerves. They didn’t go down easily. “It was just…a long time ago.”
Back when she was scrawny, fearless, and…confident, she realized. The past year had taken a toll on her; made her question herself, not just her future.
“You should have no trouble then,” Leo said, watching her expectantly. He gave his stallion a pat after adjusting the saddle.
Gemma saw no way out of this one. She looked worriedly up at Sonny. Would the poor animal even hold her weight? She felt guilty. She wasn’t a skinny little kid anymore, and all that Thai takeout hadn’t exactly helped her midriff area. Still, as she watched Leo hoist himself onto his horse and grab the reins, she knew she was just making excuses.
“Here goes nothing,” she muttered as she slid her shoe into the stirrup and pulled up onto the horse. There. That wasn’t so bad. It was just a lot higher than she remembered it being, or maybe she hadn’t ridden such a big horse in the past.
She glanced to the barn door, where the ponies were eating hay. Ah, yes, those were the days. Small, less intimidating creatures. A few feet from the ground at best. Now, she was towered high up above the dirt path. It would be a long, hard fall down.
“Please don’t trip,” she whispered into Sonny’s ear.
Leo was an expert, or a natural, she’d soon find out. He led them away from the stable, riding side by side with her on route to the wooded path where Gemma tried not to worry about fallen logs or other hazards.
Leo kept them going at a steady pace, but she could tell that he was itching to trot, and, as Gemma grew more relaxed, she almost felt the urge, too.
Almost. No sense in getting ahead of herself here. With any of it.
Still, her stomach stirred every time Leo caught her eye and gave her one of those warm grins, the kind that made his eyes go all crinkly at the corners.
“Where’d you learn to ride?” she asked. It clearly wasn’t his first time on a horse, and she doubted it was a skill that he had just picked up since moving to the island, either.
He was quiet for a minute as he led his horse away from a pair of bicycles that were parked outside a picket-fence-lined home.
“I rode growing up. Grew up on a ranch.” He glanced at her, as if not sure he wanted to tell more or needed to explain more. She focused on her horse, gripping the reins in her hands, trying to relax into the moment, and struggling.
Noticing, Leo grinned. “Anyone ever tell you that you have trust issues?”
Gemma laughed. “You’re right. But I just met Sonny here. It’s not exactly easy to put my life in her hands.”
“Hate to break it to you, but Sonny is a boy.”
“All the more reason then,” Gemma snorted.
“You just met me too,” he said, catching her eye, and something in the way he looked at her made her heart start to race. “And I’m a boy.”
He was a man, through and through, and she couldn’t help raking her gaze over the width of his shoulders, the muscles in his forearms as he led the horse.
“You saying I should be careful?” she asked, realizing, with mild horror, that she was flirting with him. A little.
“I’ve been known to let people down,” Leo said, and by the way his brow drew together, she suspected that she had hit a nerve. They said nothing more as he steered his horse onto the wooded trail, and they rode single file for a while.
It was easier this way, Gemma thought. She didn’t have to see his face, or his smile, or the warmth in his eyes. Didn’t have to make eye contact. Maybe it was easier for him, too. He was a quiet man, and he didn’t want to reveal much.
Not that she was up for sharing. After all, you just don’t blurt out that your fiancé got cold feet without people wanting some explanation.
“So where’s the ranch?” she asked, thinking this might be safer grounds, and he had volunteered it, after all.
“Wyoming,” he said. “That’s where my father was from, and how my mother ended up out there.”
She knew that Edward had lived most of the year in Wisconsin until he became a full-time resident. “That’s farther away than I expected,” she said.
“Like I said, I needed a change.”
She nodded, even though he couldn’t see her. She watched him bounce a bit on his saddle, steer his horse to the right. She followed.
“You ever planning to go back?” she called out. He was gaining ground on her, and she wasn’t yet ready to let Sonny loose.
The pause was so long that she assumed he hadn’t heard her.
Finally, he said, “The ranch belongs to my brother now.”
A brother. That was something. She realized that she wanted to know more. Older brother? Younger? Were there others?
“You two close?” she settled on, thinking of the bond she shared with her sisters, even though they had grown apart in recent years.
Even though Ellie was still upset with her.
“No,” he grunted. He led the horse into a clearing and stopped. “You see that house over there?” He pointed through the dense trees. The trillium that was native to this region was still in bloom, a lush carpet leading up to a white carriage house. “That’s my place.”
She hadn’t even considered where he might live other than with Edward, who kept a small cottage closer to town. She’d seen him so much at the Taylor house that she’d just connected him with the house, even though of course he didn’t live there, he was just tending to it.
She took a good look at the carriage house that he had motioned to. It was freshly painted, with black shutters that flanked white paned windows. Underneath, where others might keep a carriage, were bales of hay.
“Whoa, boy,” he said as he led his horse through the gate.
“Wait,” Gemma said as it all started to come together. She forgot all about leading Sonny as she took in her surroundings. “That’s your horse.” No wonder the stallion had a shiny new saddle, she mused.
“I only have one so don’t say I didn’t share,” he said, grinning. “Sonny here is the best of the herd from the Birchwood Stables.”