It feels bittersweet talking about home. It’s exciting being here, but I don’t know if I could really do it. If I could really, truly pull up the roots that ground me to the earth in Ballyhock.
With food in my belly and the party at my back, I’m feeling a bit lighter than I have in days. I finish my pizza and he asks me more questions. How big is Ballyhock? Is it farmland or a city? I answer everything he asks me, pleased to talk of home, but when he finishes his joint, his eyes are a bit glassy.
“What makes it different there?” he says, his words slurred. “Is the ocean different?”
I smile out at the sea. “Suppose it’s the same ocean, isn’t it?” I tell him. “All flows together and all. Father Finn says we’re all one.”
“Who’s that?”
“Parish priest, friend of the family.” I don’t know why I’m talking so much, like I can’t stop myself. As if talking of home keeps me connected.
“Ah.”
I tell him how close everything is in Ballyhock, how I can walk from the McCarthy home to the sea, or take the winding pathway to Holy Family church. I tell him about the shops and the restaurants, and as I do, I long to be home again.
“Sounds nice,” he says. “Do you want me to walk you back now?”
I look over my shoulder and look for my guard. They’re good at staying discreet, I’ll give them that.
“I’m good, thanks.”
“You sure?” he asks.
“Aye,” I say without thinking, and when he laughs out loud, I clench my fist to prevent myself from decking him.
“See you later.” I leave without giving him a backward glance.
I’m feeling sentimental tonight. Maybe I’m hormonal. But just being around a guy who doesn’t interest me makes me long for the one who owns my heart, even if I hate him.
I glance at my phone and realize I haven’t replied to the text he sent me hours ago.
I’m here, I begin to type, then I erase it. My fingers hover over the screen.
I miss you.
Before I can change my mind, I send the text.
The second I do, I second guess myself. My heart hammers, and my mouth’s all dry. I look, realizing I don’t know where the bloody hell I am.
I look to my left and right and realize I still don’t see my guard.
My heart begins to pound even harder. They should be where I can see them.
Am I alone?
For a place that moments ago looked teeming with people, it feels oddly vacant now.
My phone buzzes, as someone ambles toward me. I look at the screen to see Lachlan’s name. My hands shake.
I miss you, too, sweet girl.
I close my eyes at the rush of emotion. No, Lachlan, no, don’t do this to me.
I can’t take it anymore. I pick up the phone and touch his name on the screen. I hit the phone icon, and it rings. He picks up on the first ring.
“Fiona?”
I open my mouth to speak, but I’m too overcome with emotion. I swallow, then swallow again, and nod.
“Fiona?” he repeats.
“Aye,” I whisper. “I’m here.”
“Y’alright, lass?” His tone is warm and kind, and I love him so.
“Aye,” I say, and I hate that when I blink, tears splash my cheeks. “I’m sorry, Lachlan.”
“Sweet girl,” he says. “I’m sorry, too.”
I lean against the brick wall of the building I’m standing next to, when I realize it isn’t just Ballyhock I miss, it isn’t just my home, but it feels wrong to be so far away from Lachlan.
“Where are you?” he asks, and I can tell he’s barely containing his concern for me.
“Honestly, I don’t know,” I tell him. I lower my voice so no one overhears. “And I can’t bloody see my guard.”
“Are you fucking joking?”
I shake my head, but of course he doesn’t see me. “No,” I whisper. “I’m not.” I yawn widely. “And I’m so tired.”
“Where are you right this very minute?”
“Downtown Boston, not far from the campus.”
“Where’s Aisling?”
“Went off with a guy.”
He curses.
“And Tiernan?”
“Had a job to do. Left me with my guard, I suppose.” They’re doing a good enough job staying in the background. I’ve not seen them, though I feel keen eyes watching me.
“Alright, lass,” he says, sliding into that role of protector, and it feels good again, like slipping on a pair of comfortable, familiar shoes. “Pull up your GPS and let’s get you back to the campus.”
“You’re up very late,” I tell him.
He sighs. “Couldn’t sleep,” he admits. “I miss you.”
I swallow and sniff. “It’s easier to admit the truth when we’ve an ocean between us, isn’t it?”
His low, manly chuckle makes me shiver in a good way. “Aye, Fiona. It is. We should always hop on a plane and go to another continent when we argue, shouldn’t we?”
I grin. I hear voices behind me and look over my shoulder.
“What’s that?” he says.
“Don’t know,” I whisper.
He curses under his breath. It’s killing him to be this far away from me, I know it.
“Fiona, I want you to follow the GPS back to your campus,” he says. “I’m calling your guard and Tiernan. Alright?”
I nod. “Aye.”
I wish he was here. I wish I wasn’t alone. But I survived Stone City and can handle myself just fucking fine. I’ve got this.
I lift my shoulders and plug the address into GPS.
“I’m not far,” I tell him. “Only a few blocks away. I’ll get myself straight there.”
“Good girl,” he says warmly. “Good girl.”
I bask in the warmth of his praise before he hangs up. I pull the GPS up on my phone and walk so quickly I’m practically running. I can’t shake the feeling I’m not alone, and it’s unsettling.
Ten minutes, my phone says. I step up my pace.
Chapter 6
Lachlan
I never should’ve bloody let her go. The entire fucking McCarthy family’s dead asleep, but I’ve been trying to track her since I got here. I’ve got her guard on speed dial.
I call the first one.
No answer.
I call the second.
No fucking answer.
Cursing, I call Tiernan, who answers on the second ring.
“Lachlan?”
“Aye.” I fill him in.
“Bloody hell,” he says. “Jesus fucking Christ.”
“Find her,” I grind out, clenching the phone so tightly I’m afraid I may break it. “Fucking find her.”
I make some calls and call her back. I don’t want her going back to campus, not tonight, without a guard. If someone’s following her, that’s exactly where they’ll go.
She answers on the first ring.
“Hello?”
“Listen, Fiona, you’re going into a hotel tonight, lass. Just for the night, alright?”
There’s a pause, then she whispers. “Alright.”