It’s broken by Thea’s muffled squeak. I hear her through the door, like my stupid body is attuned to her. I stomp away from class, not interested in listening to her try to get class back on track.
She’s messing with my head too much. This isn’t good. If I can’t keep a level head, my strategizing flies out the window.
Thea was hiding everything under her wholesome homespun wrapping. The desire for her is twisting me up and clouding my judgement. She’s got an ass I want to take a fucking bite out of, luscious curves I could lose myself in, thighs I want to bury my head between and live there for eternity, and full tits I need in my hands or my mouth at all times. Like, damn. She is fine as fuck underneath those frumpy ass granny sweaters and her wallflower demeanor.
But behind it all, she’s as much of a liar as anyone else. Because she’s not really a wallflower, not with the way she challenges me. She’s not shy and wholesome when I can see how she looks at Coleman.
My jaw aches from how hard I clench my teeth. The back of my neck is boiling hot.
The door opens and closes behind me. I don’t turn around.
“Connor.” Thea has to shuffle double time to catch up to my long strides. Her breath is short. “Connor, wait!”
I whirl on her, eating up her startled yelp. “What are you doing here, little mouse? Shouldn’t you be in class like a good girl?”
The fear clears from her face, replaced by stubbornness. I hate that it excites me. That I’m anticipating her fight.
Want outweighs logic when it comes to her every time.
“I was worried. You didn’t seem okay back there, and I haven’t seen you since this morning when you walked past me without saying anything.” She takes a step closer and puts her hand on my arm tentatively, like I’m a wild animal that might bite her. Smart. I am wild and I will bite her. “Are you all right? Do you need—”
I grab her shoulders and push her back until she bumps into the lockers, caged by my body. “What I need?” A dark laugh escapes me and I lean in. “I need you to stop with this innocent act. You’re quite the vixen behind the nerdy exterior, huh?” I close the distance even more, leaving almost no room between us, growling, “I bet you think about being Coleman’s teacher’s pet, sitting on his desk with your legs spread for him. That make your pussy wet? You better not have fantasized about our teacher while you were my favorite little secret, and you damn well better not do it now. He can’t have you, little mouse. You’re all mine.”
This is insane. I know I’m acting crazy and possessive, but this is what she does to me. It’s impossible to control. I don’t understand why she throws me off my game when no other girl has ever gotten me this hung up before.
Does she know the effect she has on me? Is this on purpose? I’ve been so tangled up, I kept forgetting to remember the strong possibility of her playing me while I was focused on the board, planning my next five moves.
“Mr. Coleman?! W-what, I’m not—I wasn’t thinking—” She can babble all she wants. I don’t miss the way her pupils dilate. She claws at my shirt in her blustering protest. “Why do you always say the most depraved things when you’re jealous? Is your ego that fragile? I’m not even your real girlfriend, you territorial ass.”
Liar, liar, pants on fucking fire, Thea Kennedy.
I chuckle, the sound rough and dangerous. That damn sugar-sweet scent is intoxicating.
Thea looks at my lips. A growl rips from my throat and I crash our mouths together, kissing her hard. She lets out a surprised sound, then melts into me as my tongue swipes over her mouth. God, her taste. It’s better than I pictured. I release a tortured groan as she lets me in, kissing her deeper. My hands slide down her arms and I hold her waist, crushing her body to mine.
It’s so much better than what I imagined.
The kiss is hot and demanding. She’s a little clumsy at first, unfamiliar with the movements, but she kisses me back and that’s all that matters. I cup her face, tilting her head and her arms wrap around my neck.
I’m beyond screwed because Thea Kennedy is an ocean I would gladly drown myself in.
The anger bleeds away, lost to the oblivion of glossy pink lips. It’s never faded so fast before.
This calming effect she has on me pushes past every one of my defenses. It demands more of me than I’ve given anyone, even my closest friends.
A door slamming in the distance brings us back to reality. I don’t know how long we made out for, but I want more. She tastes sweeter than the sugary way she smells.
Thea pulls back, blinking up at me in a daze. It’s my new favorite look on her. My heart gives an odd squeeze.
Leaning against the lockers for support, she touches her lips, stunned. “That was my first kiss.”
“Want a second?” I rasp. With a crooked grin, I move in again, touching her cheek.
Her small hand plants on my chest, stopping me. Her voice is quiet, but serious. “I can’t do pretend with my emotions. I won’t. Either I’m your pretend girlfriend and that’s it, or…” She shakes her head. “We’ll need to talk about the texting stuff, I guess. Maybe we can’t ignore it and forget it happened. Right now, I can’t trust you.”
Trust.
Is this real? A strange sensation in my chest quivers and expands. Hope? Thea might be genuine in what she says. The thought bowls me over, painting my defensive actions today in a different light.
Swallowing, I move back, letting her go. Thea sidesteps me. Instead of returning to class, she walks down the hallway, lost in her head.
Maybe she’s not trying to play me after all. Could she be as honest as she seems? The concept is foreign to me.
I watch her retreat, well aware of how fucked I am.
Sixteen
Connor
Wednesday. My least favorite day of the week. Not because of cutesy hump day memes; those are hilarious.
No, on Wednesdays I’m treated to pure torture. My weekly appointments with Doctor Levitt. Worse, a standing lunch with my parents follows, something Dad insists on so we can spend time as a family. Total bullshit. An ice spike to the skull would be less excruciating.
Appearances.
All part of our happy family show.
The only reason Mom makes a point of joining us is because it gives her a boost in numbers when her campaign photographer follows us around and her social media manager posts to her official profiles with an update of how important family time is to Vivian Bishop. I swear it’s her only motivation for anything she does. Damien waits in her back seat while we suffer through cardboard conversations.
Mom’s been all over my case because the dinner at the children’s hospital is this weekend. I still need to tell Thea.
But first, I need to smooth things over with her.
Yesterday surprised me. The kiss and Thea’s words didn’t leave my mind all night. At first I tried to go back to what I know, looking for the part where she pulled the curtain back. But it didn’t feel right. I didn’t want it to be.
I think this is what Doctor Levitt means about believing someone at their word. I only find that in her office, and even then it was a hard road to get to the point I wasn’t bucking against everything out of my therapist’s mouth. Therapy might be dull as shit, but some of it has stuck. It’s nice to have someone speak their mind. I allow few people past my guard where I can take them at face value.