A tug in my chest feels like it has me tethered to her. The girl I was never supposed to have in the first place. The one I’d never noticed.
But that pull gets stronger until I’m gritting my teeth to stay where I am instead of going to her side.
This is what I mean by she’s a weakness I shouldn’t indulge in. This is a girl I would destroy, eating up her goodness, her warm light. A girl I shouldn’t want, but I do. I’ve only had one taste, but I’d burn the world to the ground for her, damn the consequences.
That’s a dangerous kind of devotion I’ve never experienced. Girls have always been a means to getting off and having fun. Never this intense storm of emotions I can hardly pick apart.
Learning to trust her is scary enough. But wanting her? I can’t escape it.
Thea turns around and comes to stand between my knees. I swallow, cupping the back of her legs. Looking up at her, I skim my fingertips beneath the hem of her skirt. She shivers, placing her hands on my shoulders.
“You want to do more dirty things to me.” She says it lightly.
“I do.” I squeeze the back of her thighs, trailing my touch higher and closing my knees to trap her. “Very dirty things. They involve my tongue and your pussy until I have you crying my name.”
She combs her fingers through my hair, dragging her nails gently over my scalp. Holy fuck, it feels good. My eyes fall shut and I release a soft groan, leaning into her body.
“We won’t do anything else unless we’re together. For real.”
“Thea,” I say firmly. “I told you, I don’t do—”
“Girlfriends. I know.” She stops touching me and pulls out of my arms. That mutinous fire is in her eyes again, challenging me. “You want me? Then date me. I’m not your hookup, and I’m not faking anything else for you, Connor Bishop.”
God, I love it when she says my whole name all indignant and stubborn like that.
With a heavy sigh, I get up to stalk away, hoping to clear my head. It doesn’t help; I can still smell sugar cookies and cinnamon. I peel out of my evergreen Silver Lake High soccer zip up and toss it aside.
“If it’s because you’re afraid, because of the thing with your mom…” She trails off with a conflicted look when I whirl around. “I just—we aren’t our parents. Whatever their mistakes and shortcomings are, those aren’t automatically ours, too.” She blows out a breath. “I mean, I hope I never turn out like my mom.”
She doesn’t want to be like her mom. My heart thuds. It’s the last fear holding me back with her.
I rub my forehead. Damn her solid logic and reasoning. I don’t want to explain my family shit right now.
On top of that, I’m nothing but corruption. I would only taint her with it. Break her.
Staying away from her is too hard. I’m drawn back, taking her by the shoulders. The scent of whatever she’s been baking today wraps around me. I lean in, needing to taste her lips.
“I told you.” Thea pokes me in the chest to stop me, her voice quiet but not giving an inch. “I’m not the same as you. I can’t turn it on and off. I like you. You blackmailed and bullied me, and I still like you, because under all that bravado for your reputation, you’re hiding the guy you really are.”
“I’m not. You’re wrong. What you see is who I am. I lied to you. Tricked you because it amused me.”
She tilts her head, studying me through her lashes. “You’re not as cruel as you pretend to be. If you were, you wouldn’t have cared what happened to me at the benefit. Even though you made me go. You put yourself between me and anyone else, keeping me safe in your own way.” Sighing, she bows her head. “It’s why I want this. Us. But if this is all fake for you, then I’m out of here.”
Panic surges as Thea slips out of my grasp, turning toward the door.
“Wait.” I grab her wrist. My voice is hoarse and my thoughts race with the burst of adrenaline coursing through my system. “Just—wait. It’s not…I do want you.” I push my other hand through my hair. “But I don’t know how to have a girlfriend either, sunshine. I’ve only ever gone to girls for sex.”
There’s a long beat where she gives me her back, and I think she’s going to wrench away to leave anyway. Relief pours through me as she turns to face me.
“We’ll figure it out together. I’m sure we’ll mess up, but I want to do it with you.”
My throat grows tight. Why is this so hard?
Just take, like you always have.
I can’t though.
“I’ll corrupt you.” Shaking my head, I step back, releasing her wrist so she can escape me. “I’m not good, Thea. I’m messed up.”
I’m so fucked up in my shadows playing god that I spied on her. Toyed with her.
“Isn’t that my choice to make? Besides, haven’t you already shown me the dark side?”
Thea gives me a smirk that’s all mischief. It looks fucking good on her, making my dick hard. That look should be illegal.
She takes my hand, bringing my knuckles up to press her lips against them, peeking up at me. “You said it yourself, I was hiding who I really am. I’m done hiding. Are you?”
A tortured groan tears from me. This girl…
Screw it. I’m done running from my problems and fears. Finished letting my fucked up family keep me from having someone that makes me happy. I tried to keep her away, but I’m not the noble hero. I take what I want, and if she wants me? I’m fucking giving her what she asked for.
Thea’s right. This doesn’t have to be fake. It never was. I’m a king of misdeeds. She’ll be my queen.
The sunshine to my dark moonlight.
Together we make an eclipse.
I’ll swallow her golden, warm light in my shadows, but she’ll pierce through the blackest parts of my heart.
“Be careful what you wish for,” I rumble, tugging her against me. “If we’re doing this, I might never let you go.”
“Do your worst. I can handle it.”
“Yeah?” My cock throbs. I back up toward the bed and drop onto the corner of the mattress, facing the big full-length mirror. “We were interrupted before we could finish what we started the other night, before I devoured you. Come here.”
She puts a knee on the bed and straddles my lap, her denim skirt riding up her thighs. I caress them, then unclip the straps of her overalls, peeling down the material so it pools around her waist. My hands bury under her thick sweater, pushing it up over her head.
Thea captures my mouth in a kiss and it’s so sexy. Whenever she popped onto my radar before, I never would’ve pegged her for a first move girl. She proved me wrong with her mistaken number selfie, but I still thought of her as the kind of wallflower I’d have to coax to show me her petals in bloom.
She yanks on my shirt until it’s over my head. Every second I part from her kiss is wrong, and I swallow her gasp when we come together again, both of us shirtless. It’s so much better than the rushed coatroom quickie. Now I can take my time with her.
Growling into the kiss, I unclasp her bra, discarding it to the side. I’ve dreamed of her tits after all the naughty photos she’s sent, and I’m finally going to get them in my mouth. Cupping and massaging them, I rip from the kiss to take a nipple between my lips. Thea’s head drops back with a tiny cry. As I torture one nipple, then the other with my tongue and teeth, she starts circling her hips, the material of her skirt riding higher as she rubs her pussy on the hard ridge of my cock through my jeans. I suck harder on her nipple, dropping my hands to grab her plump ass, moving with her.