With a sigh, I scrub a hand through my hair. “Sorry. I messed it all up. I didn’t mean to ruin the night. I had to get out of there, or I was going to put my fist through the wall, or…” I shake my head.
She doesn’t want to hear about me punching Coleman.
I hold out my hand, heart hammering in my chest. “It doesn’t matter. I was wrong and I shouldn’t have left you alone. I want to show you something to make it up to you. Will you come with me for a drive?”
Thea studies me for a long beat where I think she’s going to refuse. She should, after the way I treated her.
“Where are we going?”
I swallow in relief.
“I want to take you to a special place. It’s where I go when I need to cool my head.”
The wariness in Thea’s gaze softens. “Promise me one thing.”
“Anything.”
“You don’t dictate my life. You can’t tell me what I can and can’t do. You know why I hate that.”
My gaze cuts away. I do know. She’s told me about her issues with her mom being controlling and conservative. I can’t help that in my effort to protect her from the threat Coleman poses, and from the mysterious hacking group using her as incentive to do what they told me to, I became forceful with her.
Controlling is the only way I know how to be. Without it, I turn wild. Learning to give that up when I know I’m keeping her safe is a daily challenge.
She takes my hand in both of hers, her eyes bouncing between mine when they fly back to her. The sight of her causes a pang in my chest with her flower crown, those big doe eyes, and the tilt of her pouty lips.
I open my mouth to swear to her.
But I can’t.
The only choice I have is to lie, and that frustrates the hell out of me. I don’t want to lie to her, but I can’t freak her out with this, either. Bile rises in my throat, keeping me from betraying her.
This is all for her own good. I can’t stop the plan now. Once I get into Coleman’s house with Devlin and Blair’s help, then this will all be over. I’ll give Thea anything she wants afterwards, even if she demands I walk away from her.
It’ll kill me to leave her when I’m in love with her, but this will be the last promise to her I ever break.
Thea isn’t the meek girl I used to think she was, but I won’t hurt her by scaring her with the monsters waiting to take a bite out of her.
It’s a huge risk, putting everything between us in jeopardy.
Instead of the promise she wants, I aim for a little honesty, because it’s what she’ll listen to.
“I can’t promise you that yet.” At Thea’s crumbling expression, I rush the rest of my explanation out. “I want to, baby. So badly. But this is really big. Bigger than dirty politics and cover ups. I swear to you, I would never control you like she tries to. I know you’re strong and capable of making your own choices. Please. Trust me?”
“We’ve had good communication to solve our issues before,” Thea murmurs. “I trust you with my secrets, and you trust me with yours. So why are you keeping something from me?”
Damn her logic. She has me there. Forcing out a breath, I scrub the back of my neck.
“Everything I do is to keep you safe. Can you trust that?”
Thea studies me. “I know you’d never hurt me.”
“I wouldn’t. Just—give me a few days, okay? I swear, I’ll tell you everything.”
“Okay. As long as you tell me.” She gives me that fierce look full of fire that I love. “Don’t think I’ll forget it.”
A weak laugh leaves me as I gather her in my arms, inhaling her sugary scent mixing with the flowers. “You? Never. You’re too sharp for that.”
I stay like that for a minute, breathing her in while my stomach unknots. I can’t mess this up. She’s my everything. The only good thing to ever happen to me.
She presses up on her toes, kissing me with so much tenderness that my breath comes out shaky. I lean my forehead against hers and tell her what I wanted to earlier.
“I’m in love with you.” Her gasp is soft and she goes still. Before she says anything, I go on in a reverent tone. “I didn’t notice you. All these years, and I never looked twice at you. But you were right there the whole time, living next door.” I lean back to meet her eyes, tucking her hair as I pour my heart out. “I see you now, Thea. You’re so bright, I don’t know how I ever missed it. Your light glows, in the day or at night.”
“Connor,” she whispers, eyes wide and shiny.
The corner of my mouth lifts and fondness fills me. “You make me feel like the moon, desperate to chase the sun. You’re all I want to look at, sunshine. All I want to catch.”
The smile that breaks out on Thea’s face is stunning. A laugh escapes her and she winds her arms around my neck in a hug.
“I love you, too.” Her voice is muffled against my chest.
Taking her hand, I back up a step. “Let’s sneak out for that drive. I want to show you my favorite place.”
We hop in the Lexus and when Thea turns to me, I shoot out a hand to cover her eyes. “Don’t look around. Keep your eyes shut.”
She laughs, brushing her fingertips over my knuckles. “Why?”
“Don’t want to ruin the surprise I put together for you.”
Biting her lip around a smile, she covers her eyes with her own hands.
“Are they closed?” I squint at her.
“Yes!”
“Good. No peeking.”
Shifting the car in gear, we drive off, leaving the neighborhood. The streets of Ridgeview are quiet this late. It’s past eleven as we drive the winding roads leading up into the mountains that overlook the town. When we reach our destination, I back the car in.
“Keep them closed still,” I say as I open my door.
“Okay,” Thea drawls, tipping her head back against the seat. With her eyes scrunched tight, she lifts the flower crown from her head and rests it in her lap.
It’s cold up at Peak Point. We’re the only ones here and I made sure it would stay that way. It’s the most popular place to hook up, but I come here for a different reason. I blow into my hands as I round to the back, opening the trunk so we’ll have the perfect view. Inside the SUV, I built a nest of blankets, pillows, and a strand of battery powered Christmas lights to make it festive. When I click them on, they blink in multicolor.
Once I’m satisfied with the set up, I go to Thea’s door and open it. “Take my hands. I’ll guide you. That’s it—watch your step.”
I want to kiss the crinkle in her nose as I walk backwards toward the rear of the SUV. When I have her in position, I lick my lips.
“Okay. Open.”
Thea’s lashes flutter and she takes in the sight of Ridgeview lit up at night, tiny lights filling the valley below us from the high vantage point.
“Wow,” she breathes.
“Yeah.” I’m looking at her instead of the town below. “I know it’s just Peak Point, but it’s my favorite place. I sit up here for hours when I need to cool my head.”
“It’s so pretty at night.”
“Seeing it all lit up and small reminds me that whatever I’ve turned into a big problem doesn’t have to be in the scope of things.”