“You wouldn’t mind if they were together, if this whole war thing wasn’t on the table?” I ask.
Aaric shakes his head once. “He is my best friend, like a brother to me. It is strange that he lusts after my sister, a woman he has known since childhood. However, I do not pretend to understand how that works. Sylvi is a woman now, no longer a girl. I would be proud to welcome Gunnar into my family. I know the man that he is and I know that he would treat Sylvi with respect.”
“I think you have your answer, Aaric,” I say.
His eyes are burning with something that I can’t read, but they are on fire. “There would be consequences.”
Standing, I shrug a shoulder. “There are consequences, there are things that happen with every single decision that we make in life. If we only worry about that and not our own happiness, we will be miserable.”
Without saying another word, I turn and walk away from him. He has a lot of thinking to do. Not only about Gunnar and Sylvi, but about us as well. He’s been ignoring me, hiding himself from me, and now allowing our relationship to grow past the physical aspect. There is a consequence to that, I just don’t know what it is, yet.
Chapter Twenty-Five
LIV
I should probably hate being on this ship. I don’t. It’s been a couple of days and I absolutely love the salty air against my face. Aaric and I haven’t spoken since the conversation in his office, but I know that he is thinking about everything that we discussed.
He is smart, so smart that I know without a doubt he isn’t thinking about Sylvi and Gunnar, he understood exactly what I meant. How can we be anything more than just bedmates if we don’t open up to one another? How can we fall in love and fulfill the prophecy, if that is indeed what he wants to do?
Standing at the front of the boat and staring ahead, I don’t see anything as I think about everything. There is a mist that begins to form, it thickens and the temperatures drop at least ten degrees as it surrounds us.
I’m filled with sadness. I have fallen for this man, not because I know so much about him, but because I have observed him. He loves his family fiercely, adoring his sisters and even loves his brother who has been causing issues for him. I’m unsure of the issues, but it is clear that some kind of rift is between them, and if I had to guess, I would say that it involves that woman Isolda.
“Liv,” Aaric shouts behind me.
Turning around, I look back over my shoulder and watch him as he approaches me. “What have you done? We cannot see in front of us,” he shouts.
“Nothing, I’m just thinking,” I shout back. He grunts, crossing his arms over his chest as he looks down his nose at me. “You think I’m doing this?” I ask, lifting my hand and waving it around.
“I know that you are, Liv,” he barks.
Narrowing my eyes at him, I cross my arms over my chest and just stare. I refuse to defend myself.
“I thought Runa taught you how to control yourself?” he asks, sounding awfully accusatory.
Stomping my foot, I lean in toward him. “I am trying my best here, Aaric. I can’t control everything and I don’t control every aspect of the weather,” I snap.
He grunts, looking down at me, releasing his arms from his chest and plants his fists on his hips as he continues to watch me. He shakes his head once, then lets out a heavy sigh. He sounds exasperated, and all it does is irritate me more.
“What is wrong?” he exhales.
I snort before I turn my back to him and reach out, gripping the railing of the boat. The wood was damp and cool beneath my fingertips. Aaric takes the opportunity to close the distance between us, his torso pressing against my back. He lifts his hands, placing them on top of mine, holding me right where I am.
“Liv,” he purrs, his beard brushing against my neck.
His lips gently brush my skin and I can’t stop the shiver that breaks out over my skin or the way my thighs tremble. He rolls his hips behind me and I can’t hold back the whimper at the feel of his length as it presses against my backside.
“Aaric,” I breathe.
He hums, his teeth nipping my flesh. “You’re upset with me. I can see it on your face, in your eyes. Won’t you tell me what’s wrong, víf?” he asks, his voice so soft, so smooth, so incredibly sexy that I almost forget why I’m frustrated with him, why he makes me sad.
Turning my head toward his face, he grins as his lips brush my own. “Liv,” he rasps.
“You don’t seem like you want to get to know me very much,” I say.
He doesn’t jerk away from me, or even look surprised by my observation. “I don’t understand why you’re upset. We spend our evenings and mornings together. I see you in the middle of the day even.”
I let out a heavy breath. “Not sex, Aaric. What about everything else? We don’t really know one another, we aren’t friends. I want more,” I admit.
It’s odd, admitting for the first time what I want from a relationship. Usually, I go with the flow, never causing waves. Maybe it’s because I have always been too busy to worry about it. If the relationship didn’t work out, no skin off my nose, I would just bury myself in my work.
I don’t have that option here. My life is Aaric. I’m completely isolated from the rest of this world, aside from Runa and the seeress. I can’t communicate with anyone, no matter how hard I try to learn this language, I’m freaking terrible at it. I’m completely alone, dependent on this man.
“What else is there?” he asks. I blink, staring at the mist in front of me. “Deeper feelings must grow over time. How can I fall in love with you, I do not know you, yet.”
“That is my point,” I sigh.
He grunts. “I do not know how love develops in your country. Here, it is something that comes over time, it will not happen overnight. I know men who have never expressed these words of love to their wives. Is this what you wish? You want me to tell you that I am in love with you?”
“I don’t need you to say the words, Aaric. Though, it would be nice if my husband did love me. I would prefer it more if you showed me.”
He hums, shaking his head. “Do I not show you respect? Kindness?” he asks.
“Does respect and kindness equal love?” I ask, arching a brow.
Aaric pushes off of the railing, taking a step back from me. Turning around, I tilt my head back to look up into his eyes. He is watching me, but I can’t read his expression. I don’t know what he’s thinking, not ever, and that frustrates me, too.
He shakes his head, and without saying a word, I watch as he turns his back to me and walks away. I stomp my foot again in frustration and let out a low growl. Spinning around, I stare out at the ocean again.
As my anger begins to rise, so do the waves. Closing my eyes, I try to do the exercises that Runa taught me to calm my emotions down. I breathe in deeply, then let it out with a long exhale. It doesn’t work.
Opening my eyes, I can’t stop the anger and hurt from filling me up, from spilling out of me. The boat starts to rock, the waves start to roll and crash against the side and I can do nothing but stand at the front of the ship and watch, feel, take it all in.