But other than to tell her I had a thing for Jagger, I’d never told Violet how deep those feelings went. How I dreamed of planning my future with him. Of maybe one day far, far into the future actually starting a family of our own together. I didn’t want a baby until I was at least thirty, but I did know that when I imagined my children, it was Jagger who was their father.
“You’re so fucking beautiful.” Jagger’s lips had trailed from my mouth to my jaw and down my neck, while his hands pushed my hoodie up out of his way. “I’ve dreamed of this so many times, Dimples. I’ve lost count of how many mornings I’ve woken up to the image of you just like this still in my head as I jerked myself off.”
The mental images he was putting in my head only made the ache between my legs more intense. Lifting my hips, I rubbed myself against his hardness. “I can’t say the same about waking up fucking my hand, but I’ve fallen asleep plenty of times after getting myself off thinking about you.”
His groan sounded tortured as he buried his face in my neck. Between my legs, I felt just how much he liked the thought of me touching myself. His cock twitched against my core, and a mewl-like sound came from the back of my throat as I arched into him a little more.
Reaching up, I caught the back of his head, ready to pull him down for another kiss, but he suddenly went statue-still over me. The creaking of the top stair had my heart stopping just as Jagger jerked my hoodie into place and sat up. Tossing the throw over us, he grabbed one of the decorative pillows and put it over his lap.
I stayed there, eyes closed as I pretended to be asleep while he kept his gaze on the TV just as I heard my brother grumbling to himself. “You two are still up?” His surprised voice didn’t hide the anger underlying his question.
“Shaw fell asleep not long ago, and I was about to call it a night myself,” Jagger said, his voice not giving away even an ounce of anything he must have been feeling right then.
“Oh,” Cannon muttered. “I’m getting a bottle of water. Want to watch this movie in my room? I can’t sleep.”
“Yeah, sure. Let me wake up Shaw so she doesn’t get a stiff neck, and I’ll be right up.”
I could practically feel the hesitation coming from my brother, but after several moments, he gritted out an unhappy “Okay” and stomped up the stairs.
Jagger touched my leg, and my eyes snapped open. “That was close,” he whispered, his face tight and slightly pale.
“Jags…” I tried to catch his hand, already knowing he was slipping away from me not just physically but emotionally too. I could almost feel the walls slamming down between us, and it broke my heart.
“He’s my best friend, Shaw.” A muscle ticked in his jaw, and when he looked at me, his gaze didn’t meet mine. “I can’t lose him.”
“You won’t,” I tried to argue, fighting tears. “He will get over it. I promise.” It might take a while, but I knew Cannon wouldn’t be able to hold it against either of us for too long. Even though he acted like he hated me more often than not these days, I knew in my heart that my brother loved me and would want me and his best friend to be happy.
“I have to go. We’ll talk about this later.” He stood, then looked down at me with a pained expression clouding his face.
Realizing there was no use in forcing him to discuss this with me when he was already shutting down, I gave in. “Okay, but we will talk about it, Jags.”
He gave me a tight nod and then left me lying there on the couch.
Closing my eyes, I cursed my brother’s poor timing before forcing myself to get up. After throwing away our trash, I went to my room, determined to have our talk first thing the next morning.
Chapter 4
Jagger
I didn’t sleep for even a minute that night. Cannon passed out again before the movie was over, but that wasn’t anything unusual. It was as if when a movie started, he couldn’t keep his eyes open.
I just sat in the gamer chair at the end of his bed and stared at the TV screen long after the credits stopped rolling and the main menu popped up. I didn’t see anything but the images of kissing Shaw replaying in my head.
One second, I wanted to sneak into her room and finish what we’d started downstairs, but in the next moment, guilt would flood me and I would grip the arms of the chair as tight as possible to keep myself seated. I needed to think about this before I screwed everything up.
The pros and cons of being with Shaw ran through my mind until I was dizzy. There were so many more cons than pros. The biggest being that Cannon would lose his shit and we wouldn’t be best friends anymore.
To some people, they could afford to lose friends. But over the years, I’d realized the true value of the ones who counted. In my world, having someone who watched your back, was there through thick and thin, no matter what—those were a rare commodity. I’d learned there were people out there who only wanted to be my friend because of who I was. Between my dad’s career and my own that was beginning to get started, I had people always wanting to hang out with me.
Then there were those who just wanted to meet Ma. My mom could make anything happen, and being able to say you knew Emmie Armstrong opened more doors than some realized.
But Cannon, he’d been like a brother to me from day one. Our parents were all friends, so I knew he wasn’t around just to soak up the perks of what my family could offer him.
We’d promised each other never to go after each other’s sister, but when I made that pact, I didn’t realize how much Shaw would mean to me one day.
It wasn’t that she was the hottest chick I’d ever set eyes on. She was—hands down—but that wasn’t what drew me to her. Shaw Cage was the full package. Beautiful, brilliant, the perfect combination of sweet and fiery. She could hold her own in any conversation, and she never let anyone walk over her. She wasn’t scared to bust anyone’s balls, including my own. Mia always told me I needed to find a girl who wouldn’t put up with my shit. The only girl who didn’t outside of my mom and sister was Shaw.
When it came down to it, the choice was between who I could live without and who I couldn’t.
Shaw or Cannon.
But it wasn’t an easy choice to make. I wanted them both. My best friend and the girl who so effortlessly owned a part of me no one else had ever been able to touch.
By the time the sun started to come up, I was still sitting there trying to come to some kind of decision. Frustrated, I grabbed my shit, left Cannon a note telling him I needed to finish a paper for my civics class, and drove home.
I was just putting my key in the front door when it swung inward. Mom stood on the other side with a cup of coffee in one hand and a smile that never failed to warm me from the inside out on her beautiful face. “Hey, baby boy.” She stepped back to let me in, but not before those big green eyes of hers narrowed on my face. “Did you sleep at all this weekend, or were you up playing games the entire time?”
“I got a little sleep.” Not a lie. I’d fallen asleep Saturday morning and texted her when I woke up that afternoon. But I knew she was seeing more than I wanted her to, so I kissed her cheek and turned for the stairs. “I need a shower and a nap.”