“Did this relationship end recently?”
He shook his head, still not looking at her. “Two years ago.”
Selene wasn’t sure what to make of that response. “Two years,” she repeated. That was a long time. “Why did the relationship end?”
His gaze swung in her direction, and he was scowling deeply. “She said the only emotion I was capable of was anger. She was right.” His tone and dark expression certainly seemed to mirror that accusation.
She held his gaze. “I see.”
Oscar finished his beer with one last sip, and once again, she recognized his reluctance in continuing this discussion. The silence dragged on, lasting a few moments too long, passing from companionable to awkward.
She and Oscar didn’t have a long acquaintance, so any reassurance she might offer would no doubt ring false to him, though she’d certainly witnessed many emotions from him. Not the least of which was lust, her personal favorite.
So she wouldn’t dismiss her own instincts, which told her whoever this woman was, she had indeed been mistaken.
She expected Oscar to change the subject, so she was surprised when, once again, he stared out the window as he spoke. It was as if by avoiding her eyes, he could pretend she wasn’t there, wasn’t listening.
“We were high school sweethearts. She was my first love, and I was hers. I’m not going to say it was all sunshine and roses. We were off as much as we were on. Langston used to tease us, called us Ross and Rachel, but I did love her. And I tried to be the man she wanted, needed.”
Selene wanted to point out that love wasn’t truly love if it required change. Growing together and adapting, yes, but not one-sided change. She remained quiet, afraid he’d stop talking if she interrupted.
“We fell apart and came back together five times over the course of twelve years.”
Her eyebrows raised. “That is a long time.”
He nodded. “When you’ve been together that long, I guess it’s easier to return to something comfortable, familiar.”
“Is that why you continued dating her?”
Oscar shook his head. “No. That’s why I think she kept dating me. I loved her. Loved her so much, I tattooed her damn name on my back.”
She’d assumed the large tattoo, Faith, that was written across his back had been a declaration of spirituality.
“She broke things off for good the night I’d planned to propose.”
“Oh, Oscar. I’m sorry.” Selene was curious about a woman who would date a man twelve years if she was truly that unhappy with him. It seemed the height of cruelty to expect a man to change rather than to love him for who he was, and Selene found herself angry with a woman she’d never met.
Oscar studied her face and sighed. “You have more questions. I can see it.”
“I don’t wish to make you unhappy.”
Oscar snorted. “If you ask my family, they’d say that was my normal state.”
Selene considered that. Oscar was unlike any of the other men she had taken to her bed. She preferred adventurous, passionate lovers who saw sex as an outlet and an expression of self. In short, she preferred people with relatively few sexual hang-ups who were GGG—“good, giving, and game”—and didn’t take it too seriously. Oscar was gruff, and yes, she had noticed he was quick to anger, though not in a way that frightened her.
“I wouldn’t say that.”
Oscar frowned and she could tell she’d surprised him with her observation. However, he recovered quickly. “Stick around a few more minutes and you’ll change your mind.”
She gave him a smile. “I don’t believe I will.”
His brows relaxed, giving his eyes a softer, less intense look. “So ask what you want to know.”
“Her name was Faith?”
He gave her a curious look, which she answered. “I’ve seen your tattoos, including the one on your back. I’d assumed you’d meant faith as a noun, but I can see now it is a name.”
Oscar shrugged. “At least it’s on my back and my stupidity isn’t thrown in my face day after day.” He sighed, and Selene sensed he was working hard to center himself to calm down. “Have to admit I’m sort of partial to the name Selene. Goddess of the moon, right?”
She smiled. “The original Titan goddess. Not one of the lame Greek hangers on. Though when I was in college—physics major with a minor in applied chemistry—I jokingly told people I was named after Selenium, the element. That I had to go into chemistry because of my name.”
“And what is Selenium?”
“A metalloid. Dangerous, but beautiful—it can be used as a pigment.”
“Dangerous and beautiful? Suits you.”
“Flattery will get you everywhere,” she said, perfectly aware that she was flirting with him, while he was still attempting to change the subject.
Oscar was a thorough, considerate lover, and while part of her longed for another night in his bed, there was a more realistic, practical side that issued a warning. In the past, she’d never been in a position to confuse physical attraction with affection, but there was something about Oscar that tugged at her heartstrings.
“Everywhere, you say?” he asked suggestively.
He had a slight Southern twang that Selene found extremely appealing, sexy. But she wasn’t going to let him distract her with that honey voice and sexy body.
“Why would Faith accuse you of being angry all the time?”
Oscar seemed somewhat surprised by that question. “Surely you’ve noticed I have a temper.”
Selene blinked as she thought back over the past few days. His reactions had seemed perfectly reasonable in the face of what had been going on around them. “Not a particularly scary one.”
If her question had surprised him, her response had shocked him outright.
“Two years is a long time to harbor a broken heart, Oscar. Why haven’t you moved on?”
He toyed with the label on the beer bottle and glanced over his shoulder. She suspected he was debating whether or not to have another.
“Because I don’t blame her for leaving. Her reasons weren’t wrong. And they won’t be wrong with the next woman. It’s just…I’m not…” Oscar rubbed his hands over his beard. Selene had observed him doing the same thing several times, typically whenever he was thinking, tired or, like now, frustrated. “I’m not like my brothers and Sylvie. I don’t wear my heart on my damn sleeve, and I suck at saying sweet shit.”
Selene fought not to grin, aware that Oscar might take her humor badly. She attempted but failed to force a more serious expression. “And Faith wanted you to compose her poems, write songs about her?”
Oscar realized she was joking and barked out a loud laugh. “Not exactly. I think she would have been okay if I’d just…fuck…I don’t know…talked to her. She said I was emotionally distant. That the only emotion I was capable of expressing was anger.”
“Anger is far from a dispassionate emotion.”
Oscar nodded slowly. “Yeah. Well, I lost my shit the night she told me it was over for good. I told her she should know how I felt about her. I mean, Jesus, she was fucking everything to me.”