I throw the knife, and he screams while diving away as it slams into the wall beside him, nowhere even close to his body, despite his attempt to flee. I find that a little humorous.
The knife is stuck in the picture of Sheriff Cannon and the plaque that praises him for donating so generously to the church. It’s right between his eyes, and I never had to look to aim it that well.
Once again, the color drains from Dev’s face, because he sees proof I’m no longer the weak little girl they let bleed on the streets.
“I’m stronger. Faster. Smarter. And far more lethal than anyone in this town. If I wanted you dead, you’d already be dead. Kyle had the sheriff’s love and his protection. Yet I flayed him and hung him from the tower for the entire town to witness his demise. Don’t piss me off, Dev. I’m not the girl you turned your back on ten years ago. This girl will carve out your spine if I find your back to me again.”
He gulps as I walk over to pull the knife out of the sheriff’s head, and I look over my shoulder at him.
“And never call me Victoria again, or I’ll cut out your tongue like I almost decided to do already. I’m still not certain you’re in the clear, so don’t remind me about you again. Understood?”
He nods, tears falling from his eyes.
I walk by him, and he shudders in my wake as my icy breeze follows me.
“I’m sorry,” he says as I pass him. “I’m so sorry.”
My footsteps pause, and I clutch the knife tighter, willing myself not to lose control and kill him when it’s unnecessary. It’s hard to forget his part in that night when he’s so close.
“Just remember I can’t be stopped,” I say without turning around. “Don’t make me regret showing you mercy when I’ve withheld it from all others. Jason’s time is coming too. Don’t make me return for you as well. And your father is still on my list.”
“My mother and sister are innocent,” he blurts out immediately.
I stay facing the door. “Your mother’s innocence is debatable, but she’s not on my list. Your sister was always sheltered from the rumors when she went off to college. For her own sake, make her less naïve, Dev. It’s a cruel world to those who don’t believe such evils exist. I would know.”
I walk out without saying another word, and I tuck the knife back into my boot before anyone sees me.
That was not what I needed.
I don’t want one of them trying to save my soul when they’re the reason it’s so damaged. I don’t want one of them trying to preach to me. The hypocrisy is too laughable to even dwell on.
Feeling a chill on my back, I turn, seeing Dev coming after me, and I stop on the sidewalk, cloaked in darkness in this section with no lights.
“I’m going to the feds, but I wanted you to know it was for the right reasons. Can I ask where you’re going?” he asks softly, timidly, like a lamb protesting a lion’s grip.
“To kill someone,” I say flippantly.
He blanches, then looks down at the ground. “You didn’t ask who the original killer was when I said I knew.”
Turning around again, I start walking quickly into the night before calling over my shoulder, “Because I already know.”
Chapter 3
To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.
—Confucius
LOGAN
I hate myself. I hate this fucking case. And I hate everything that is standing between me and Lana right now.
“I fucked up,” I say quietly to Hadley as I drop to a chair in her cabin.
“I’ll say,” she mumbles.
“I don’t know what to do right now, but I shouldn’t have done what I did. I didn’t know she was Victoria when…”
I blow out a long breath, letting the words trail off, unable to finish them.
“When what?” Hadley prompts, leaning up.
“I fucked her out of anger, and then cuffed her to the bed, left her naked and exposed, and didn’t let her speak.”
Hadley goes stiff beside me.
“You didn’t,” she says in a harsh whisper, her teeth grinding.
I clench my hands together, lacing my fingers with each other tight enough to cause pain. “I thought she was Kennedy and obsessed with Victoria Evans. I had no idea she was Victoria Evans. I’d have handled everything differently. I’d be no less confused, but I sure as fuck wouldn’t have done that to her. I thought she’d been playing me. I was hurt. I felt duped. And—”
“And obsessed proxies are unstable and unable to love without fixation,” Hadley points out grimly. “But she’s not an obsessed proxy. She’s a scarred girl with more shit in her life than any one person should ever have to endure. And you just took your turn shitting on her. Great job, Bennett. Great fucking job.”
She stands, and I curse while standing with her. “I realize I fucked up. I’m trying to fix it, Hadley. But I can’t find her. That’s why I’m here.”
“Define your version of fixing it,” she says, eyeing me suspiciously.
“I have no idea just yet. It’s not like I can simply condone all she’s doing. And it’s not like I can lie and say I don’t understand it either. I feel…fucked up,” I groan, putting my head in my hands.
She leans up, her eyes on mine. “I realize I’m not the Boy Scout you are, but—”
“Don’t do that, Hadley,” I interrupt, my jaw ticking. “Don’t act like being conflicted about torture and murder means I have a stick up my ass.”
She collapses back against the chair, releasing a tortured breath.
“My stepfather was a monster, and my mother and her shrink convinced me I was a pathological liar for seeing him as such.” Her random, yet pained comment has me tensing. “Seventy kids in total that we know about, Logan.”
Her eyes tear up, and she clears her throat.
“I was conflicted too. Then I realized there were only sixty-nine pictures.”
“Your picture was missing,” I say quietly, but I already knew this. I just didn’t piece together at the time that it was my girlfriend sparing Hadley the indignity of the others seeing it.
“She didn’t want me to see the vulnerable little girl I was because she was afraid it would break me. Lana has lived through more pain than most people can endure. The physical pain alone from the numerous surgeries she needed to rebuild her facial structure was bad enough. Imagine the psychological toll that took on her. She lost her family. She lost her home. She gave up her identity so that it couldn’t be taken away. She’s stronger than you’re giving her credit for, and yeah. Maybe I’m a sick motherfucker, but I’m on her side.”
I scrub my face with both hands, staring at nothing as I try to process everything around me.
“It took me a minute to wrap my head around it, which is why I’m not punching you for doing the same. It’s also why I let you in here after you said you were done with me,” she adds.
Her lips quirk, and I run my hand over the stubble on my jaw, thinking about the way Lana would do that to me when she first woke up. She constantly touched me, as if checking to make sure I was still real.