I look forward again. I don’t want to hear her crazy bullshit right now. I just want to get this over with and be one step closer to the secrets. So I take that final step, stand in the doorway, and wait as every single man in the room looks in my direction.
They go silent.
I find Cooper in the crowd. He’s standing in front of a throne at the top of the room. Not a room—it’s a chapel. Behind the throne a long, gold banner with the High Court lions hangs from the cathedral ceiling. On either side of him are three six-foot-tall floor pillars with flickering candles.
I wait there, unsure what to do. But then Cooper sits down on the throne and all the men in the room back up a little so that there is a clear aisle for me to walk. I glance around nervously, looking for Ax first. He nods at me. Then Lars. He takes a deep breath.
Then they both walk up to Cooper and stand on either side of him.
Then the men in the room begin to chant. Leela warned me about this, but I am not prepared for how fucking creepy it is to have men chanting as you stand in a candle-lit house chapel wearing a black robe.
I can’t make out the words they say. I’m not even sure they’re speaking English. It might be Latin.
Cooper beckons me to walk down the aisle towards him with one crooked finger. He looks calm. Very self-assured. In control.
And why shouldn’t he? He’s the one sitting on the throne.
I walk. One step at a time. Trying my best not to look at the men on either side of me. They are wearing robes too. Gold ones. Only Jack, his friend, Ax, Lars, and Cooper aren’t wearing the gold robes. They are just wearing very nice suits. Like this is just another corporate event.
With each step I become angrier.
But I’m not sure who I’m angry at.
Cooper? Because he’s sitting on that throne?
Jack? Because he and Leela set me up so thoroughly?
Lars? Because he stayed away?
Ax? For not trying hard enough to stop me from going through with this?
All the rest of them? Because they buy into this insanity?
Or… just myself? Because every moment leading up to this one was my choice.
I reach Cooper and kneel down on a black velvet cushion with gold tassels and then I settle back on my butt, the way Cooper taught me to sit when we were just ‘practicing’.
I bow my head too, because I’m not supposed to look him in the eyes until he tells me to.
“Cadee,” Cooper says. “Look at me, Cadee.”
I’m very close to him. His feet are less than a foot from mine. And when I raise my eyes, he’s leaning forward with his forearms flat on his knees, hands lightly clasped together between his legs, his blue eyes more disturbing than ever.
“You’re a good girl,” he says. “Such a good girl.” His fingertips reach out and pull on the silky ribbon at my throat. The bow falls to pieces and my robe spreads open. His hands gently brush against my shoulders and the robe falls down my arms. Then he pulls on the elastic of my night gown, dragging the neckline down so my shoulders are bare.
He licks his lips. Like he’s getting turned on. I glance between his legs and find a bulge there.
Against my own will, heat blooms between my own legs.
We are all sick here. All of us.
But especially me.
Because I suddenly know how I will challenge Cooper to rise tonight. And it’s turning me on just thinking about it.
Both of my hands dart out. One grabs the hard bulge on the side of Ax’s thigh. The other cups Lars’s balls.
Cooper just looks at me. I never take my eyes off him. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“I’m not a good girl, my king. I’m very, very bad.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE - COOPER
THREE YEARS AGO
The snow is falling so gently, everything has a slow-motion quality to it.
And it’s quiet too. Just the sound of her boots as she walks further and further into the woods. Her coat is light blue wool. It’s an old-fashioned double-breasted style that flares at the waist and has a wide, tight belt. She is wearing yellow gloves and black boots that go up to her knees with fake fur underneath the crisscrossed laces.
Her blonde hair is long and straight. And every now and then she looks over her shoulder with a smile, checking to see if we’re still following her.
We are.
Lars is in front. Then Ax. Then me.
But we do not rush to catch up. We let her slip in and out of view. Sometimes we are so far behind her, she leans against a tree to wait for us.
We end up in a clearing next to a frozen stream. There is an odd assortment of large boulders in the middle that we like to sit on.
We have eaten dinners out here. We have looked at the stars out here. She has spent entire autumn afternoons sitting on the top of the tallest boulder doing Ax’s homework while we smoked out and drank out here.
We didn’t offer her any. Ever. And she never asked. She just did what we told her to do. She always just… followed directions. Always intent on being the good girl we imagined her to be. A fantasy, really.
But this is New Year’s Eve so maybe we’ll let her partake.
Then again, maybe not.
Lars and Ax follow her. They climb up the rocks and sit down on either side, Lars tugging on the many, many fucking buttons holding that coat together while Ax kisses her.
I like watching Ax kiss girls. He puts his fucking heart into it. And I don’t often get to see Ax’s heart.
I don’t join them.
There’s another rock just on the edge of the clearing. That’s where I sit.
Watching.
I like to watch Lars finger her.
I like to watch the way Cadee’s face changes when he does that.
I like to see her come.
When we’re all together like this, I like to watch.
Because if I’m going to have her, I want her all to myself.
We do that in secret because she’s not mine. She belongs to no one. She is the girl in the woods. If anything, she belongs to the school. She belongs to High Court.
But I hate watching her with them.
I want to punish her every time Ax’s tongue slips inside her mouth.
I want to make her pay every time Lars slides his fingers between her legs.
I snap out of the memory and realize all the men in the room are intently focused on Cadee, Lars, and Ax at my feet.
Ax is kissing her. And his kisses are so much sexier now than they used to be. I get lost in it for a moment just watching his tongue caress Cadee. Her eyes are closed and she’s moaning into him.
But that’s because Lars has his hand underneath her nightgown between her legs. They are both squatting down next to Cadee. And her hands are roaming over their bodies.
“That’s enough,” I say. It’s not loud. Hell, it’s barely more than a whisper. But all eyes in the room are suddenly on me.
Except Cadee’s. She looks down, like she’s wallowing in shame.
I pause again, trying to piece together her game.
Then wonder… is she still playing? Or is this real?
“Get up,” I say. “Stand up.”
All three of them do this. Lars and Ax both go back to their position on either side of me. Cadee still won’t look me in the face.
And this is starting to piss me off. “Look at me.”