‘Well, I’ll leave you to it,’ said Marnie.
‘I’ll send Zoe in with a coffee for you,’ said Cilla.
‘Oh it’s fine, I don’t want to disturb her.’
‘You won’t be.’ Cilla checked to make sure her daughter was out of earshot before continuing. ‘I’m trying to keep her extra busy if I’m honest, she’s been ever so down recently. We don’t know what’s the matter with her.’
Marnie remembered being that age. As well as all the hormones raging, her wings had been flapping like crazy. She wanted to fly the nest so much and live in a flat with Caitlin. Then Caitlin had decided she wanted to go off to university and Marnie met and moved in with Warren who was probably the worst of her exes because he became violent when he was drunk and he was drunk a lot. Then she left him to live in a house near Sheffield with six other people who kept themselves to themselves and weren’t the most hygienic people on the planet either, but she was happy there. She was perpetually skint and juggling finances between credit cards, but she somehow managed.
Marnie walked into the lovely dining room, shutting the door behind her. That first bedsit she stayed in would have fitted into here about eight times over. The people above her were noisy, the people below noisier still but she was standing on her own two feet and felt free, powerful, euphoric with independence. Lilian had once told her that she felt the same when her father died. He must have been an ogre, she remembered thinking.
Marnie could see that Herv was tidying up the plants around the lake. She sat on a chair which didn’t allow her sight of him because then it was slightly easier to keep him out of her mind. She started at the first ledger again, reading it with the express purpose of only looking for clues to where Margaret lay. She was ten pages in when there was a timid knock on the door and Zoe entered with a cup of coffee and some biscuits on a plate. Her hand was shaking, Marnie noticed, and she appeared to have the weight of the world on her shoulders.
‘Thank you, Zoe, that’s very sweet of you. I told your mum I didn’t want to put you to any troub—’ was as far as Marnie got before Zoe burst into tears, making Marnie rise from the table to shut the door and put her arms around the girl.
‘Zoe, whatever is the matter?’ she said. Zoe was breaking her heart. Marnie pushed her down onto a chair.
‘It’s my fault,’ said Zoe, face hiding in her hands. ‘I am so sorry, Marnie. It was too late when . . . I shouldn’t have . . . Oh, Marnie, I can’t stop thinking about it . . .’
‘Zoe, what is it, because nothing is worth getting in this state for. What shouldn’t you have—’
‘Please don’t tell my mum,’ Zoe implored her.
Shit, she’s pregnant, thought Marnie.
Zoe groaned loudly before continuing, bent over as if she had been hit by a wave of central pain. ‘Marnie, it was me that told Kay Sweetman about that man you were . . . I’m sorry.’ She dissolved again. ‘She told me to spy on you. She said that you were up to no good and after Lilian’s money and I should report back on anything I heard of interest.’
The realisation dawned. Oh God, thought Marnie. So that’s where it had come from.
‘It’s fine, Zoe, go on,’ Marnie reassured her.
‘Lilian spoke about you so much that, in the beginning, I did think Kay might be right and I told her what I’d overheard you and Lilian talking about one day. I’m so sorry. As soon as I’d told her I knew it was wrong. And the more I got to know you, the more I liked you and we all knew that you and Lilian were fond of each other and not pretending and then when Kay told Herv about what I’d said, I could have died because she only wanted to stop anything happening between you and Herv because of Ruby and you’ve been so lovely to me and then you said that about supporting me in university and—’
The girl was in bits. It would have been cruel to let Zoe know the damage she’d caused, especially when her sole motive had been to watch out for Lilian, so Marnie swallowed it and held up her hand to stem Zoe’s tormented flow. ‘Okay, slow down, slow down. It’s fine, Zoe, really. You don’t need to worry. I know you were fond of Lilian and thinking that you were protecting her. The fault is with Kay, she should never have tried to manipulate you like that.’ She dragged her handbag towards her to pull out a packet of tissues. ‘And the offer for help with your university costs still stands.’
‘No, I can’t now. Not after what—’
Marnie interrupted her yet again. ‘Yes it does. We all make mistakes,’ she let loose a little laugh. Oh boy, don’t we just. ‘Is this why you’ve been so down? Your mum said you’ve been worried and that’s made her worried.’
Zoe nodded her head as she blew her nose.
‘Well stop it, now. We’re good, you and I, Zoe. Thank you for telling me. Now put it to bed, please. No harm done.’ No harm done? Oh, Zoe, if you only knew.
‘Three times I’ve got as far as your house to tell you and I chickened out on the doorstep,’ Zoe went on.
‘You silly girl,’ said Marnie. ‘If your mum asks why your eyes are so red, tell her that we’ve had a girl to girl chat about . . . about leaving home or something, otherwise goodness knows what she’ll think.’
‘I will,’ said Zoe. She stood up to go and then suddenly threw her arms around Marnie.
‘You are so lovely,’ she said, sniffing hard.
‘I know,’ joked Marnie. ‘Now cheer up.’
‘I will,’ said Zoe. Marnie escorted her to the door and opened it.
‘You won’t tell anyone?’ Zoe asked again.
‘No, and I don’t want to hear another word about it,’ said Marnie, sternly, which Zoe interpreted as kindness in context, although out of context it would have sounded harsh. As it did to Herv who had walked out of the kitchen to see Zoe standing there with bowed head, bloodshot eyes and red, salt-raw cheeks.
That’s all I need, thought Marnie. As if I couldn’t sink any lower in his estimations, now he thinks I’m bullying teenagers. She retreated into the dining room and, much to her surprise, he followed her.
‘I wanted to ask you about the lake,’ he said, his tone clipped and unfriendly. ‘Are you keeping it or filling it in?’
‘I’ll ask the new owner,’ Marnie said, in the same manner. ‘It’s not my call.’ She picked up her pen and scribbled the word ‘lake’ on her pad.
‘Why have you upset Zoe?’
‘I haven’t, actually.’
‘She was crying.’
‘As I said, I haven’t.’ Oh bollocks, could his timing have been any worse? And she couldn’t exactly explain what it was all about so she moved swiftly on. ‘Whilst you’re here, would you mind taking a look at Emelie’s cottage, the damp is terrible in it and she won’t move out so we’ll have to work around her. The wall behind her TV is especially concern—’
‘Is it true?’ There was demand in his voice.
‘Yes. Rising damp, I’m sure of it.’
He took in an angry breath and said something unintelligible under his breath, something Norwegian and most likely a string of expletives. ‘I don’t mean Emelie’s wall. Is it true?’ He knew that she knew what he meant. She knew that he knew that she knew what he meant: what Kay Sweetman had said. And actually, now she was thinking about it, he’d believed it and judged her without question, just as Fiona Abercrombie had done about the cheesecakes. Maybe he wasn’t so bloody perfect after all if he could take the gospel according to Kay Sweetman as the definitive version. Marnie’s temper went from 0–60 in a nanosecond.