For a woman who was on my last nerve two nights ago, Henri’s amusing the shit out of me today.
Up on the bus, Brooks drops into the seat next to me. “Ready to kick some Florida ass?”
“Damn right.”
“Gonna sleep with that hat too?”
“You want one so bad, ask your fiancée to get you your own.”
He glances around and lowers his voice. “Is she one of your Nonna’s tricks?”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence in my ability to be a good person. Appreciate it.”
“Emily?” he mutters.
“Shut the hell up.”
“Not trying to be a dick, but you being a dick won’t help our game either, and I’d rather be the dick who calls your bullshit now than the idiot who didn’t stop a train wreck when all I had to do was ask a simple question.”
I played my rookie year with Brooks in New York. I met Emily in New York. I got engaged in New York.
And I called it off last-minute in New York.
Not many people cared about a post-season wedding disaster for a rookie who wasn’t yet shilling shampoo and hadn’t set any records, but a few of my teammates were there.
And this one remembers.
I scowl at him. “I learned my lesson.”
“Lesson wasn’t supposed to be love sucks.”
“Did I try to stop you from getting engaged?”
“No, because you’re usually one of the good guys. Fun on the field. Good teammate off the field. Pretend to be happy for us even when you think we’re making mistakes, because you know better than to be that guy. But if you and your grandmother are manipulating a woman who’s an utter disaster—”
I don’t lunge for his throat, but I’m close. “Do. Not. Call. Her. That.”
“Rossi. You’ve met my sister.” He lifts his hands like peace. “Utter disaster’s a compliment where I come from. Also means I’m not gonna sit back and watch you take advantage of someone who reminds me of her.”
“I’m not taking advantage of anyone.”
He squints at me like he’s gauging how honest I’m being, then slowly nods. “Good.”
“Hey, lovebirds, you made ESPN.” Cooper’s the last to board, and he drops into the last open seat across the aisle as the bus pulls into motion. He flips his phone toward us, and there’s video of Brooks and me leaping into the stands before the game while ushers and security race after us.
God, Henri’s face.
One minute, she’s buried under a pile of hockey players and bird feathers, and the next she’s emerging wide-eyed and gaping at me like she doesn’t even know what planet she’s on.
I swear, her eyes say she’s talking as fast in her brain as she talks when she’s awake as I try to explain to her that the vultures were attracted to the reflection of her sequins.
And that look that’s shifted on her face as I turn away—fuck.
This entire situation is a bad idea. Brooks is right.
But who else is going to protect her from herself?
I might’ve screwed up royally when it came to Emily—though she messed up plenty on her own too—but I’m older, wiser, and better equipped to do the right thing by a woman.
With Henri, the right thing is making sure she doesn’t hurt herself.
Physically or emotionally.
I can do that without getting involved, and the fact that she came to me with her eyes wide open, asking me to help her, is a good sign we’re on the same page.
I’m about to grab my phone and text her to make sure she got home okay when it buzzes in my pocket. I pull it out, scan a few lines, and holy shit.
Whoa.
Just whoa.
Henri: Do you know what I want to do to you? I want to swipe my hungry tongue all over your hot skin from your mouth to your dick, and then I want to lick your cock until it’s weeping for me, and then I want to take your hard steel rod into my mouth, all the way to the back of my throat and suck you until you can’t speak, can’t breathe, can’t do anything but feel the pleasure of my hot, wet, silky magic on your glorious cock, and until you know no other woman’s name but mine.
My dick twitches. My mouth goes dry. I angle in my seat so my teammates can’t read this, and I’m gaping at the screen, my brain short-circuiting as I try to come up with a coherent response, when another text arrives.
Henri: OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH WRONG SCREEN. That wasn’t for you. Erase that. Ignore that. OMG. OMG. OMG, I am so embarrassed.
Luca: Wait. WHAT? Who the FUCK are you sexting with? Jesus. HOW MANY MEN ARE TEACHING YOU TO NOT FALL IN LOVE?
Henri: I’m not sexting! THAT WAS FOR A BOOK!
Henri: And it’s not published yet.
Henri: And it’s not mine, so please, PLEASE don’t share that. With anyone. My friend Dorothea had all these dangling modifiers and misplaced commas so I was helping her smooth out her sentence and I copy-pasted it to the wrong person on my contact list. OMG. I’m going to die. I’m going to die of embarrassment and then Dogzilla will have no one to change her costumes.
Luca: That was from a book?
Henri: YES. My friend Dorothea. She writes as Satin Knight. You met her the other day. She asked Cooper to take his shirt off.
Luca: GRANNY ROMANCE? GRANNY ROMANCE WROTE THAT?
Henri: She’s seventy, not dead, Luca. Don’t judge a woman on her wrinkles. It’s not very nice.
Luca: I’m not judging. I’m surprised. YOU SENT ME A BLOW JOB. Of fucking course I’m surprised.
Henri: Clearly, it’s a good thing your Nonna’s not looking over your shoulder.
Luca: *gif of a sexy older woman*
Henri: Oh my gosh, tell me that’s not what you see when you think of your Nonna.
Luca: I was making a joke about older women being sexy.
Henri: *gif of a hot actor from a space cowboy TV show trying to say something to stop someone from being an idiot*
Luca: ?
Henri: My last fiancé left me for an older woman. You know, your mother? That wasn’t a very good joke.
Henri: Probably you should stick to playing baseball. Good game, by the way. And thank you for the hat. It was nice to not have to worry about birds attacking me all through the game. But you can have it back. I don’t want the team to be short a hat. I can buy one at the store like a normal fan.
Luca: The team has plenty of hats.
Henri: And bats? And cats? And mats? And pats?
Henri: Sorry. Ignore me. I’m a dork.
Luca: You’re not a dork.
Henri: I am, and I accept that about myself. But thank you for being kind enough to suggest I’m not if “dork” is an insult where you come from. *smiley emoji*
Luca: You enjoyed the game?
Henri: Yes! So much. And I got a jersey and ate too much popcorn and had the best time ever with Mackenzie. She’s so funny. Did you know she and Brooks are getting married at Duggan Field? That’s so sweet that she’s such a big fan and she’s getting to have her wedding at the ballpark. And so great that she’s not letting any superstitions stop her from her dream either. She and Brooks are so adorable.