I grinned and sat back. “Then an astronaut you shall be, but,” I said, looking at him pointedly, “our big hearts also need big rest to do big things.”
He seemed to think about that for a minute, and I could see the anxiety return to his eyes. “Will you stay?”
“Sure.” I crossed the room to a small red patterned chair by a large white bookshelf. “I might not be able to sing, but I can read the house down.”
Fern
That morning, I arrived home two hours before my mom got up to get ready for work.
Jude was a no-show at school on Monday and again on Tuesday and Wednesday.
The house next door was quiet. I could tell just by staring at it that there were no beating hearts inside.
I contented myself with printing the pictures I’d taken of Jude’s back and face, and also with staring at his number, of which I’d saved in my phone.
He resurfaced on Thursday, looking for all the world as if he hadn’t just missed three days of school at the busiest time of senior year.
I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to ask him where he’d been. I wanted to see if he’d thought about me at all, wherever it was he’d gone.
Instead, all I could do was watch him march through the dining hall, carrying a squashed sandwich in his hand and his tie swinging over his shoulder as he headed outside.
I was seated in the corner where I always preferred to hide, but I wasn’t sure he knew that.
“Silas?” Cory questioned, nearing the table with her lunch. She pulled the phone away from her ear, checking it and then pushing it back. “What the hell? Silas?” With a groan that sounded days old, she stabbed her thumb at the screen and slumped into the opposite leather-wrapped chair. “I could strangle him.”
“Did your Labrador run out onto the road or something?”
“I thought we agreed you’d stop calling him that months ago.”
I stabbed a piece of ranch-soaked chicken. “He totally is one, though.” Loyal to a fault, goofy in a way I was certain everyone found adorable—yes, even myself at times—the golden child and star quarterback, Silas Rydell was the perfect pet. I mean, boyfriend.
He worshipped the ground Coraline walked on, and rarely had I seen her frustrated with him and hardly ever upset. The only times I’d seen him make my best friend cry was from making her laugh so hard.
Cory rubbed her temples, looking as though she was indeed about to cry or scream. “He got so wasted on Friday that I had to call his parents.”
“Oof.” That was a last resort most wouldn’t bother with, especially if their name was Coraline Ericson. “How’d that go?”
“How do you think?” she spat, struggling to unwrap her burrito. In a crazed movement of her hands, it went flying off the table. She left it on the ground and dropped her head into her hands. “Sorry, I know you went home with Jude, and I’ve been meaning to ask about it, but he’s just been so…” She scrunched up her face rather comically. “He’s driving me fucking insane.”
“Where is he?” I asked. I remembered seeing him briefly yesterday as he talked quietly with Cory by her car, but nothing today.
“No idea,” she said. “That’s the thing, he just keeps on disappearing without any explanation, and now I’m that girl. The nagging, tell-me-where-you-are-because-you’re-acting-weird girl.”
“You’re not nagging. Your pup’s acting up.” I pushed my chicken salad across the table to her. “It’s out of character and warrants an explanation.”
She pulled the salad to her and poked at it with my fork. “There is no explanation. Just the same old song about getting caught up with stuff for his parents, and that he’s sorry, and it’ll be done with soon.”
“What will be done with?”
I knew Silas’s parents owned the Hystenya, a luxury hotel, as well as the airport, but they’d never needed him this much before.
“I wish I knew, but he won’t say anything else. And just now, he was pretending he had no service.” She rolled her eyes, lettuce and chicken entering her mouth. “As if I’m twelve and might actually believe that bullshit.”
I withheld a laugh as I imagined him doing that. Which turned out to be smart as a second later, my salad was shoved back at me, and Cory’s head dropped to her arms.
Shit.
She was crying or maybe trying not to cry. I couldn’t exactly see past all the blond hair and her arms. Glancing around, I felt grateful that everyone seemed to be focused on their own issues, namely who they were asking to prom, and who was going with who.
Dumbfounded by what to do here, and because I was just awkward as hell anyway, I blurted, “I put Jude’s dick in my mouth.”
Cory bolted upright, a lone tear sailing down her cheek. “What the fuck?”
We garnered attention then, and I shushed her before handing her a napkin. She waited until everyone resumed their own discussions and lunch eating before wiping the tear away. “Jude… you and Jude actually hooked up?”
“Don’t act so surprised. It’s not like he showed up at Gina’s to haul me out of there or anything.”
She pursed her lips at that. “I thought he was going to drop you on the side of the road. I waited for you to call.”
Aghast, I hissed at her, “Cory, I didn’t have my freaking phone.”
Wet eyes rounded. “Oh hell, that’s right.” Her mouth pinched, shoulders tilting. “Lucky he took you home then?”
I tossed a crouton at her head. “Asshole.”
“Hey, I forgot. I’m sorry.” She ate the crouton. “Too much Silas confusion and stressing over how I’m going to afford a prom dress.”
I suppose we were even then, being that I knew she’d be worrying over that, and I’d forgotten too. “We’ll talk to Jan. She’ll fix you up.”
I could tell she had no other alternatives. Her dad would see it as a waste of money, so she didn’t refuse our help for once. “Thank you. What about you?”
“What do you mean?” I grabbed my water and drank three huge sips.
It almost flew out of my mouth when she said, “You put his junk in your mouth. Looks like you might get your prom wish after all.”
We stared at each other, then burst into laughter.
“Hurry,” Cory said, checking the time on her phone. She leaned forward with that twinkle back in her eyes. “Spill everything.”
“Denane, babe,” Kai Anders’ voice stopped me outside the library the following morning. “Heard you like to watch yourself some dick sucking. I have the real thing right here. No need to flick the bean all alone.”
Turning to face him, I felt my cheeks catch fire, the burn spreading everywhere.
The halls weren’t too congested as everyone hurried to their next destination, but they were busy enough that I knew this piece of information would be passed around before lunch.
I blinked at Kai, speechless.
He grabbed his junk and made a lewd motion, his friends laughing beside him. “What?” he said to them. “She’s actually pretty hot.”
“You know the rules,” I heard one of them say, not understanding what that meant and too embarrassed to care.