Lana drew back, her eyes angry like Grif’s sometimes got. “Even after what he’s done to you?”
“Yes, even then. I wish I had someone fight for me like Grif do for missing females.”
Saying the words aloud only reinforced how badly she wanted Grif to continue to be the one who fought and cared for her, but how could he when she couldn’t even fit in with the females of his world?
“You don’t mean it.” Cam patted her arm this time. “You’re confused. Or maybe you think you owe him something because he brought you along rather than killing you? That’s not true.”
“How do you think to get females back without him?” Nayla did not like the suggestion that she was confused. She might not be full Other, but she knew her mind. “I would not have told location if he just ask nicely.” She gave them the truth. Not just for Grif, but for herself. She did not want their kindness under false pretense.
Shocked silence greeted her declaration. None of the females looked pleased.
Her stomach twisted. She knew the tips of her ears were twitching, her skin shimmering golden pink with emotion. She did not want to stay any longer.
She was used to asking for permission, to be told when she could depart, but Grif’s words flickered through her mind now. You always have the right to say what you want.
“I return to Grif now.” She pushed past, not waiting for a reply.
She was not one of them. She never would be.
33
“Nayla? Everything okay?” Grif’s heart thumped overtime at the look on her face.
He was where he’d been when she left. At the fire. Trying not to look like he was hovering. Or that he didn’t know what the hells to do with himself once he’d put up his tent and made sure Sharluff was tied up tight.
Malin had wanted to argue. Bain to discuss the merits of Pack versus Other. Zale to eat.
Grif hadn’t been interested in any of it.
But now he wanted to kill someone, namely whoever had made Nayla look so sad.
She nodded, but didn’t speak.
He understood her reticence, but sometimes finding patience wasn’t easy. Especially when he wanted to fix whatever was bothering her as fast as possible.
Turning his back on the curious gazes of his teammates, he slung his arm around her and led her toward his tent. “Time to talk, wild thing.”
He held open the tent flap for her and tried not to wonder if pack dwellings were a hundred times nicer than his makeshift shelter as she ducked inside. They stared together at the meager pile of belongings in the corner: his pack, and little else.
The place he’d started building back at the settlement was a palace in comparison. He was handy—had to be growing up with the dad he’d had—so the bare bones were already looking good. He’d gotten sidetracked though by the mess with Ryker, imprisonment, and his hunt for Nayla.
Now, though, he was actually excited about crafting it into a real living space.
He wondered what Nayla liked in a home.
“I don’t belong here.”
Her words jerked him from his thoughts. He knew she wasn’t talking about the tent.
“Here.” He scooped up a skin of water from his pack and handed it to her. “You should drink.” He eyed his stash of bars. “It would be great if you ate something, too. You didn’t eat dinner.”
She did not take the bar. She did not drink the water.
He blew out a breath. “Did they say something mean to you?”
No answer.
He reminded himself that interrogators stayed in control. Leaders kept their cool and gathered intel. Those gunning to be second-in-command let logic rule.
She pressed her lips together and the lines at the bridge of her nose deepened.
“I’m going to talk to them.” He stalked toward the tent flap. “I trusted them to take care of you, and they did a shit job.”
“No. Wait.” The simple touch of her hand on his forearm stopped him cold. “They nice to me.” Her fangs flashed, tugging at her lower lip. “They say mean things about you.”
Ah, hells. He was so lost in this female.
He turned to face her, wrapping his hands around her shoulders. “I can handle a little criticism. It’s probably well deserved. As long as they’re nice and welcoming to you, I’m good.”
She shrugged. “I see enough anger with Talg. Such feelings only poison and twist. I don’t want that for you or them.” Her ears twitched. “I knew would be hard for me here. I didn’t realize hard for you, too.”
He ran his arms up and down the length of hers. “Everyone is just adjusting. Give them some time to catch up with us.”
She nodded, but shadows still darkened her gaze.
“What else is worrying you, wild thing?” He cradled her jaw between his hands. “We share our secrets, remember? Even when it’s hard.”
“I like when you push me,” she whispered the words. “I like when you hold me down and make me burn. Th-the brave females say I should not like what you did to me, but I did. I-I want it even now.”
Ah, fuck him. Nayla was finding her voice and coming into her own. Which was good. But it just might kill him in the process.
He brushed his thumbs across her cheekbones, soaking in as much of her courage as he could. “Whatever you feel is never wrong, so don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Your body likes what it likes and you’ve had too little pleasure in your life to feel bad about what makes you feel good.”
He swallowed hard. “It is true though that you haven’t had a lot of chances yet to judge what you like best. There…there could be other forms of touching you like better. Or,” he forced the words out, the monster in him roaring all the while, “even another male who—ˮ
“No.” She cut him off, thankfully putting him out of his misery. “You only. I know. I like your rules. Your strength. Your command. It…it feel right.”
His cock went rock hard beneath his covering. “It feels right to me, too.”
Her gaze never wavered from his. “I want to be brave like those other females. I want to say what I want.”
He was in so much trouble. “Good. You should.”
She nodded again, her tiny fangs chewing at her lip as she gathered her courage. “Then I want you touch me, like before. It made me feel so good.”
He was still recovering from that declaration when she pressed her hand to his chest, the same place she had the first time she’d touched him. “I want to touch you, too.”
“Done.” Lust a red roar in his brain, he squelched the whisper and doubts. He’d vowed to take care of her and this was what she wanted. He’d make her feel so fucking good. He’d make her forget there was ever a time she’d feared him. He’d make her forget that the mean things those females had said about him might not be so wrong.
“We begin?”
He hid a smile. For someone who said she liked his commands, she gave a lot of her own.
“We begin.” He slid one hand to the nape of her neck, the other to her ass, and drew her close.
She melted against him, her eyes fluttering shut.
But it was the soft, sweet sigh of surrender that whispered past her lips that got him worst of all. The sound wrapped around his soul like the finest of shibari rope, a web of connection he doubted he could ever unravel.