Malin looked uncertain about what to do next. Grif gave him a chin nudge in her direction.
When Malin’s mouth opened and no words came out, Grif took over. “You kept yourself alive. You gave us critical info.” He assured her. “That is a fight in itself.”
Her tears spilled over. “You are so nice to me, even now. I should have believed Nayla. She knew her heart, and she knew you loved her.”
Grif chest squeezed so tight it was hard to breathe. “Love her.” There was no fucking past tense. “She’s strong and smart. She’ll stay alive until we get there.”
The recriminations, the regrets. His sister’s flat, empty eyes. They all threatened to drag him down. Splinter his focus. He refused to let them.
Instead, he drew on every ounce of control, every bit of his will, and let the monster inside him claw its way to the top.
He’d never been happier to be the ruthless bastard he was.
He might not have known it, but this was what he’d been training for his whole life. This was what gave his father’s beatings and his lessons meaning.
Except, thanks to Nayla, he also understood, in a way he hadn’t before, exactly what it would take to bring her home. Not just through his will, but through trust, teamwork, and love.
He knew exactly how to protect what was his. “Gather everyone. I’ve got a new plan. Together, we’re bringing Nayla and the missing females home.”
“Damn right.” Malin unsheathed his ax.
Grif might never love the male, but he definitely disliked him a little less.
“Did Cam tell you anything more?” He took his last chance to gather any intel he could.
Lana nodded. “She said she was done waiting. That it was past time for a reckoning. I-I don’t understand why she would just go off like this. She’d always been so quiet and calm.”
Grif had a pretty good idea.
46
Nayla woke with a vicious headache, the sound of Sharluff’s soft, worried growls in the backdrop.
Draped over her pet’s back, her wrists tied, it was almost as if she’d gone full circle. Except this time, the Other holding her captive was a lot smaller, though just as deadly.
Through slitted eyelids, she saw Cam holding Sharluff’s lead as her pet unknowingly guided them into danger. The towering Gazi-teno plants that lined the path a clear indicator they were almost to the pack village.
Sharluff had done what he always did when she was hurt. Bring her home.
Ice slid down her spine.
No wonder the female had been interested in getting comfortable with Sharluff. It had suited her plan.
“I know you’re awake.”
Nayla startled.
“I heard your breathing change.” Cam didn’t turn around or even pause. “People don’t think I notice such things, but I do.”
“If you enter the village like this, you’ll be killed or become another captive.” Nayla did not bother with pleasantries. They were too close to the point of no return. Instead, she got to work on the ties at her wrists. Cam was nowhere as good with knots as she or Grif.
“Talg hates all Others,” she added. “He will not bargain with you. You will die. Then, others will, too. Your friend Luna will die. Grif and the crew, too.”
“I’m counting on it. Grif was trying to give you no bloodshed. Now there’ll be no choice.”
“You want war?” Shock rippled through Nayla. She’d thought the other female was just trying to save her friends and misunderstood the consequences of her actions.
“Yes! That is exactly what I want. Total annihilation. Every sin wiped clean.” Her captor gripped the harness so tight it shook in her hold. “I thought for sure you’d remember. Call me out. But you never did.”
Cam’s words were not what Nayla had expected.
“Strangely,” continued Cam, “that only made me hate you more. And myself. I’d done this terrible thing and you didn’t even realize it. But Luna would—and she’d tell.”
Another bolt of surprise, followed by a sliver of understanding. “You were one who broke the spear.”
“And freed Sharluff and frayed the rope that snapped.”
“You wanted to delay rescue.”
“Before. Then, when you almost died, I realized delaying would not be enough.”
“Why? A-are you working with the ghost?”
Cam’s frown lightened. “I don’t know who that is or what they want, but they did me a great favor leaving the spears where anyone from our crew could find them. Too trusting, in my opinion, but then again, most people refuse to see how truly evil we all are.”
“That not true.” Her New English was slipping again, her nerves making it hard to think straight.
A long pause. So long that Nayla wasn’t certain Cam would speak again. But then she said, “You don’t remember but you chose me that rotation. “
“At 223’s camp?”
“Yes.”
All Others had looked alike to her at that point. She hadn’t ever made the connection before. Even now, she didn’t remember.
“I held Luna when her children were born.” Cam was lost in her own world. “Luna held me when mine died. Without her, I would have gone insane. She was my best friend. I thought…I thought I’d do anything for her and her family. I thought I was so much better than the evil animals that had been raping and beating us.” She peered up at Nayla, her eyes flat and hard. “In a single moment, you tore that from me. You showed me just what I was made of.”
“H-how?”
“You pointed that finger in my direction and I pushed the person I loved most in front of me…I sent her in my place.” Her lips pressed tight, agony in her stare. “I loved her. Turns out I loved myself more.”
Nayla’s guilt battered at her, its claws familiar and vicious, but she refused to let them sink so deep she forgot that was not all that defined her. That way was madness. That way was Cam’s path.
Grif deserved better than someone who could not live with the pain of her mistakes. Who could not see herself as worthy and strong, not only in spite of but because of the path her life had taken.
“You were afraid.” She tried to reach Cam. “That not your fault. We all do things we are not proud of. I am so sorry I made you make that choice. I was wrong. Very wrong. But this is not the way to fix.”
“I disagree.”
There would be no reaching her. Jacking her body upward, Nayla uttered a series of sharp clicks and took matters into her own hands.
Sharluff halted. He moved so quickly from movement to stillness, her body smacked his neck and then rolled back down. Still, she was more than grateful. She’d trained him well.
“No!” Cam tugged on the lead. “We cannot stop now.”
Sharluff whinnied, but did not move.
Cam whirled to stare down at her. “Command him to move or you die.”
“Kill me here and you’ll lose your bargaining chip.”
With a shout of rage, Cam lurched forward and yanked harder at the harness. “Come on, you beast. Move!”
Sharluff reared back, his beak rising into the air in a clear show of protest, but he remained where he was.