‘Keeley,’ Silvie said. ‘Please, sit down. Please.’
The woman said it in such a manner that Keeley didn’t refuse. Dropping down to the sofa again she held her hands together, now feeling utterly exhausted.
‘You are an intelligent girl,’ Silvie began. ‘No, not a girl. You are a woman.’ She drew the cord of her gown more tightly around her. ‘A woman who is living.’
‘I know,’ Keeley said. ‘And I know right now I sound so selfish and completely ungracious but…’
‘Do you know what I think? I think you worry too much about everyone else,’ Silvie said firmly. ‘I think you worry and think about everything so much that you forget the most important person.’ Silvie took hold of Keeley’s hands again, holding them tight. ‘Like you said. You.’ Silvie smiled. ‘It is time to think of you.’
Keeley shook her head.
‘What are you most afraid of?’
‘Telling Ethan.’
‘Telling Ethan what?’
‘That…’ Her brain was firing now, taking in everything Silvie had told her. What part of this whole scenario was the worst? Her admitting she lived a life watching her health with the possibility of more operations in the future and a shorter shelf life than most? Or that Ethan’s deceased best friend had gifted a piece of herself and it was her death that had brought them together. Or… that she had fallen in love with him.
Silvie held Keeley’s hands in hers again and sighed. ‘Do you know, when I invited you here to Paris, in the back of my mind, I had this very very silly idea… that perhaps you would meet Louis and you and he would…’ Suddenly all Lizzie’s warnings about being held hostage tap-danced into Keeley’s conscience.
Silvie shook her head. ‘So silly. What was I thinking?’ She took a breath. ‘Keeley, I want you to know and believe that that was never my principal thought when I reached out. It was always about getting to know you and finding out how you were. I had thought about approaching the hospital before, but I was not ready before. And then, as time went on, and the thought came again and would not let go, I began to pray that I had not missed my chance to connect. And the more I hoped, the more I realised I had to take the chance. What harm was there to call them? To ask if you had left your details accessible if I did ever decide to write. And when they passed on the email address I was delighted. I think I drafted that short email about a hundred times and I still was not sure it was right. Would you reply? Or would you decide that to know me would perhaps set back your recovery and your healing. And I had no idea about your poor, poor sister.’ She paused for a beat. ‘But then I met you and I really began to get to know what an incredibly kind and beautiful person you are. You are exactly the kind of person Ferne would be cheering on if she were still here. Someone strong and independent, a caring friend with a gentle and beautiful spirit. Someone who thought nothing of jumping on a train to meet a very stupid, sentimental old woman.’
‘Silvie,’ Keeley said.
‘Yes, my darling girl.’
‘I think,’ Keeley began. ‘I think… I am in love with Ethan.’
Silvie nodded, long and slow, her hands still cupping Keeley’s so tenderly. Like a mother. ‘Then, you must tell him.’ She smiled. ‘Tell him everything.’
Sixty
L’Hotel Paris Parfait, Tour Eiffel, Paris
‘Wake up! Wake up!’
It was Jeanne’s voice very close to his ear and for a moment, Ethan didn’t know where he was. Then it all came back to him. The previous night, everything being so perfect and then suddenly not. He could sense, more than see, it was morning, but a quick look to the curtains showed there was light behind them and he was lying in the middle of a king-sized bed in one of the rooms at the hotel with a dog between his knees. Bo-Bo let out a yelp as Ethan tried to sit himself up.
‘What time is it?’ he asked Jeanne, moving his arm to check his watch.
‘It’s time you got up,’ Jeanne ordered, bouncing up and down at the end of the bed and rocking his hangover. Just how many bottles from the minibar had he consumed? And why was there an animatronic snowman in the corner? It was stood, by the desk, next to the window, moving very slowly from left to right, glowing on and off and bringing a stick-like arm to its head and eventually managing to tip his hat.
‘What is a snowman doing here?’ he asked, muzzing his hair with his hands then rubbing at his eyes.
‘Ah, well,’ Jeanne began. ‘You brought that upstairs last night. After the fourth glass of Pernod. You said that it was not going to go with the new décor and it was scaring the rabbits.’ She smiled then. ‘I love the rabbits by the way. Can we get one for home?’
So much of that sentence pitter-pattered over his brain. Pernod. Rabbits. But it was the use of the word ‘home’ in relation to his apartment that impacted the most. Suddenly Jeanne’s cheeks reddened and she stopped bouncing, as if realising what she had said.
‘The apartment I mean,’ she corrected herself. ‘Your apartment.’
He smiled at her. ‘You think Bo-Bo would be able not to eat it?’
Jeanne looked at Bo-Bo as if giving the question the deepest of consideration. She patted his head. ‘No,’ she concluded. ‘He would definitely try to eat it.’
Ethan grabbed for his phone on the nightstand then. Keeley. He had to speak to Keeley. Before he could reach it, Jeanne snatched it up and held it to her chest.
‘Jeanne! Come on!’ Ethan ordered, holding out his hand.
‘Calm,’ Jeanne reminded him. ‘Remember what we talked about before the third Pernod?’
Ethan didn’t actually remember drinking any Pernod although his sore throat and taste buds definitely told him otherwise. ‘Jeanne, please give me the phone.’
‘She has replied to your messages,’ Jeanne announced.
Ethan made a grab then, lunging over the mattress and missing the object by mere millimetres as Jeanne leapt off and away from him, Bo-Bo flying off too.
‘Jeanne!’
‘No!’ Jeanne said, shielding the phone as Ethan got off the bed and strode towards her. ‘Calm.’
Ethan shook his head and groaned. ‘You were never talking about “calm” when I met you. You were quite happy for the shouting and rudeness then. Now you sound like an inspirational app.’
Jeanne held the phone up in the air as if that was going to stop Ethan from getting it. She was a little over five feet tall and although she still had long, skinny arms, he was quite able to reach the phone if he so desired. But he held off and instead folded his arms across his chest and waited for her to carry on. Bo-Bo looked very much like he would start nibbling at Ethan’s ankles if he took another step towards his mistress.
‘She has sent you one message,’ Jeanne informed. ‘It is very short.’
‘Let me see it!’
‘In a moment,’ Jeanne said. ‘When you are calm.’
Ethan knew she was right, despite all the dramatics. He took a long slow breath inwards and tried to stop looking at the snowman. He was going to destroy the snowman. And make sure Noel was never in charge of decorating the hotels for Christmas ever again.