Burning to death is no way to go. Being shot—that’s noble. You get a chance to shoot back in that case, a chance to fight.
Antonio bounces on his heels and looks back to the assembled men. “Yes, boss.”
I pull my gun out and nod at him. We edge around the corner of the warehouse, and the group splits into two. Half of us go to the back door while the others jog to the front, where they will shoot those we flush out.
I wait enough time for everyone to get into position and then give the order. We charge.
The back door crashes in on its hinges as we burst through, and gunfire rips through the quiet air. The Irish inside the building yell in surprise and try to grab their guns and take cover, but we don’t give them time. All they can do is run as we push through like a powerful wave, washing them out into the open, where my men are waiting to cut them down.
This is the only way to defeat the Irish and the Cartel. Now is not the time to be merciful. I must be decisive. I will not lose this city. Not to Kevin Lynch, not to the Cartel’s mysterious leader, not to anybody.
My team reaches the front of the warehouse, and I hear the whoosh of flames behind us as those at the back set alight the many crates of drugs. We spill out onto the pavement, picking our way around dead Irishmen. I look back and watch as thousands of dollars’ worth of product burns, belching thick black smoke into the night. The heat feels pleasant on my face. The flames dance golden in Antonio’s eyes as he stares at the carnage with grim determination.
This will be a substantial blow to the Irish and the Cartel. That means there will also be substantial retaliation. I need to be sure I’m ready for it.
“Come on,” I say, waving my men over to the waiting vehicles. “Let’s get out of here.”
If my enemies thought I would go down easy, now they know I won’t.
Antonio drives me back to the mansion, so we can discuss the raid. I tell him to make a stop on the way, and he nods.
“Has there been any change?” Antonio asks.
“None that her guards have reported or that I have seen on the surveillance footage,” I say. “If Lynch knows where Alexis and Harry are, he hasn’t acted on that information yet.”
“It’s dangerous keeping them so removed from your other operations.”
“I know.”
I have thought the same thing many times. I only care about Harry’s safety, so it would be easier to keep him close and leave Alexis to find for herself, but he will grow up hating me if I do that. Unfortunately, it is both of them or nothing, and I cannot have Alexis that close to me again. So here they will stay, in an apartment at the edge of the city, where I can watch Harry grow from a distance.
Things were okay a month ago. I had bought a house for the three of us, one where we could be a family. Perhaps that was naive. Even though I’d destroyed the Irish, the Cartel were keeping me on a leash, forcing me to distribute purple heroin in the city, and I was desperate to be free of it. I knew it was going to come to a head eventually, but when it did, I wanted to be on my terms.
Alexis screwed it all up. She used information she’d gathered while living with me, while pretending to want to build a life with me, to expose the whole dirty operation. She may have offered the small mercy of not naming my criminal empire to the public, but her efforts were enough for the Cartel to make good on their threats and release their blackmail material.
She did this to me. I try to make myself hate her every day, and some days I even think I do.
Today is not one of those days.
Antonio pulls up across the street from their apartment. I look up to see the window to Alexis’ bedroom is lit up, golden light framing her head and shoulders in side profile. She is brushing her shoulder-length brown waves, probably getting ready to go to bed.
She looks beautiful. She always does.
She looked beautiful early in the morning, her eyelids heavy with sleep. She looked beautiful when she snapped at me, even as her words burned my skin. She looked beautiful with her hair splayed over my pillow, her naked body laid out below me like the most indulgent buffet.
Alexis never struggled with beauty. Loyalty, on the other hand? She sold me out the first chance she got, probably making a shiny mint for herself in the process. Not that I should have been surprised—only a couple months prior to that, she’d made a run for it with our child.
So, though I watch Alexis for a long time, I keep my distance. And I will continue keeping my distance. She is beautiful but deadly, like foxglove, with its pink, bell-shaped flowers and the heart-stopping poison hidden within them.
When we finally drive back to the mansion, I tell myself that this has to be the last time.
The only reason I have allowed Alexis to stay in this city is for Harry’s sake. I must remember that.
I won’t let myself care for her again.
2
Alexis
Clara Fitzgerald is my best friend, and I might just murder her.
“Alexis, come on,” Clara urges from the doorway, tapping her toe against the tile. “We have a lot of ground to cover.”
I heave a sigh and ignore her impatient tone. This box is heavy, and I may only be one month pregnant, but I am pregnant nonetheless, and that means she can just wait. I try not to be too annoyed—we’re working for a good cause after all, and honestly, it’s nice just to see Clara back to her old self.
One month ago, the blonde with the bright emerald eyes glaring at me from the door of the rehabilitation center was a different person. Her curls were limp, her pale skin waxy. She has always been petite and thin, but her bones jutted through papery skin, and she looked like she might collapse into a pile of dust at any moment.
She’s still a little too skinny, but I’ve been monitoring her recovery, and she has exceeded all expectations so far. No purple heroin, no alcohol, nothing. She’s teetotal and all the better for it. Most people would rest for a little while after the kind of traumatic experiences Clara has overcome in the past six months, but not Clara. She’s back on her feet and anxious to help those still struggling.
I reach the doors, and Clara takes the box from me. “There are two more in the car,” she says, and disappears into the hall.
The second I turn, I note a shadow melting into the scenery out of the corner of my eye. There’s a black car with tinted windows hanging out across the street as well. These days, I am never alone. They try not to be too obvious, but my guards certainly don’t hide. I know they’re hanging around to ensure my safety, but I’d wager that part of it is to make sure I feel Gabriel’s presence all day, every day. The guards are a reminder that although I am living my life outside of his sphere of influence, my freedom is merely on loan.
I grab the next box from the car and heave it up the stairs. This one is heavier. It’s the one with all the canned goods in it. I have to adjust my grip a couple times, but I get it up the stairs just as Clara reappears to take it.
“I’ll meet you inside?” she says.
I nod, catching my breath, and head back to the car for the last box. I’m warm now, despite the chilly fall air. The leaves down this street have already all jumped ship from their respective trees, and the branches look bare and skeletal. I am already looking forward to Christmas, and it feels strange to have something normal to look forward to. I miss Gabriel every single day, but I’ve also missed my life having even a semblance of normalcy. I feel more like myself than I have in months.