“You’re the one who called me,” I point out.
I want to believe him calling me is a good sign, but more likely than not, he’s called because he’s drunk and angry and wants to spit abuse at someone. Who better to release some frustrations on than the ultimate persona non grata?
“Why did you do it, Alexis?” he says with a light groan. “I wanted to trust you. And then you went and fucked me over.”
I tiptoe into the nursery but find Harry awake and upright, hanging onto the edge of his crib. If I didn’t know any better, I would say it looks like he’s trying to escape.
“Momma!” he greets happily.
“I didn’t know what the Cartel had on you. How was I supposed to?” To Harry, I whisper, “Hey, baby. Do you want to come out for a bit? Mommy can’t sleep either.”
Mommy might never sleep again, considering how electric my blood feels right now.
“That doesn’t matter,” Gabriel snaps. “Cartel or not, you shouldn’t have done it. You betrayed me.”
I lift Harry into my arms and take him back to my bedroom with me. I want this conversation to be private, and the security waiting in the living room won’t allow for that.
“I didn’t betray you,” I reply haughtily. “I did the right thing. People were dying. They’re still dying, but at least I was able to get the story out, so the public knows what’s going on. I didn’t know that the Cartel were forcing you to help them. You never told me that. All I knew was that you were at the center of a drug epidemic that was ruining people’s lives. I was so disappointed with you.”
I grab one of Harry’s stuffed animals from my bed and sink to the floor. I pass Harry the toy, and he starts to play with it while I settle down, cross-legged.
“We have a child together, Gabriel,” I sigh. “And we’ve got another on the way. This can’t go on forever.”
The line goes silent, and I find I am holding my breath. Is it crazy to think that Gabriel might give in? That he might confess how difficult this has been and agree that we are better together than we are apart?
“This will go on as long as I desire,” Gabriel replies in a quiet voice.
I frown and release my breath. Of course he’s going to continue being stubborn. That’s his schtick.
Harry staggers to his feet and waddles across the room. He has become a keen explorer over the past few weeks, having grown more confident on his feet.
“Careful,” I call out after him. Not that he will listen.
“Are you with Harry?” Gabriel asks.
“Yeah. He was awake when I went to check on him. I thought he might like to come out and stretch his legs.”
“Has he been walking much?” There is genuine interest in Gabriel’s voice. It’s good to hear he still cares about his son. If only he’d show it.
“When he’s not running,” I say, chuckling. “I swear the kid’s training for a marathon.”
Either that or Harry’s practicing his Bellucci birthright—running away from his problems. I don’t say that. I somehow don’t think Gabriel would find it funny.
Gabriel’s voice is softer when he speaks next. “Is he happy?”
Harry reaches the wall and starts meandering back in my direction. He is grinning. He always is. But is he happy? That’s a good question.
“I don’t think he understands what he’s missing,” I reply. “He’s happy, but I think he could be happier.”
I squeeze Harry’s hand as he wanders past me. He barely seems to notice, too focused on his explorations.
“Can we see you?” I ask. “I want to see you.”
I squeeze my eyes shut, wishing that he will give in. I am tired of this. I hate the waiting, the wondering. I just want to be a family again.
“No,” Gabriel replies. “That’s not possible.”
“Of course it’s possible!” I reply irritably. “You’re the one with the power to make it possible.”
“You don’t know how much damage you caused, Alexis.”
“No, you don’t know—” I glance behind me, checking on Harry, just in time to watch him pick up a penny from the loose change on the carpet and pop it into his mouth. He looks at me and swallows.
“Harry, no!” I yell, dropping the phone and catapulting across the room.
Oh God. Oh God! What if he chokes? What if it gets stuck in his digestive tract? Are pennies toxic?
“Guards!” I yell.
Harry’s face scrunches up, and he sniffs. I’m stressing him out. Crap. I pull him into my arms and rub his back. “Shh. It’s okay.”
The door bursts open, and Angelo rushes in. “Go back to bed,” he calls behind him.
I see why as Clara jogs into the room after him, eyes wild.
“He swallowed a penny!” I hiss, heart pounding. “We need to go to the hospital!”
Angelo helps me onto my feet, brow wrinkled. “I’m not sure swallowing a penny necessitates a hospital visit.”
“Neither am I, but I’m not taking any fucking chances!”
Angelo is busy murmuring something into his radio.
Clara steps around Angelo and walks over. “Babe, you need to calm down. Is he choking?”
I lift Harry up and inspect him. He frowns down at me, very skeptical of the situation, but otherwise seems fine. He’s breathing normally and isn’t coughing.
John, another guard, races into the room. He nods at Angelo and walks over to Harry and me.
“I was trained as a paramedic,” John explains calmly. “Why don’t you put Harry on the bed and I’ll have a look at him?”
My hands are shaking as I place Harry on the bed. I am reluctant to move out of the way, and John has to gently guide me aside so he can examine Harry. Clara comes over and wraps her arms around me.
“It’ll be okay,” Clara assures me. “Kids are resilient.”
Deep down I know that’s true, but as a first-time mom, it’s hard to believe it. Nothing has ever seemed more fragile than my beautiful baby boy. I squeeze her hand and watch as John carefully pokes and prods at Harry. He opens his mouth and looks down his throat, then looks back at me.
“He’s fine,” John says. “You could take him to the hospital, but it’ll just scare him. He’s not choking, it’s not lodged in his throat, and he will probably pass the penny in a few days’ time.”
I exhale, and my shoulders sag with relief.
“Are you sure?” I ask.
John chuckles. “I think more than anything he’s just confused about why you’re so distressed.”
I scoop Harry into my arms and stroke the back of his head. “Thank God.”
Angelo clears his throat. I notice he has a phone pressed to his ear. “Gabriel would like me to remind you that you’re still on the phone.”
“Oh right.” I lean down and grab my discarded phone from the carpet.
Clara’s eyes widen. “You’re talking to Gabriel?”
I know, right? I mouth, bringing the phone back up to my ear. Angelo ushers John and Clara out of my room and closes the door behind him.
“Everything’s fine,” I say.
“What the hell happened?” Gabriel snaps. “Angelo says Harry swallowed some loose change?”