Fuck, what if something’s really wrong? I can’t lose her. I can’t lose this baby.
“Gabriel,” she hisses. “Too tight.”
I’m squeezing her. Crap.
I loosen my hold, and Alexis chuckles. “Honestly, I’m going to be fine.”
But what if you’re not? I don’t say. Because I cannot even face that possibility.
Dr. Steinman arrives quickly, so I don’t have too much time to stew. When he gets here, he suggests that I give them some space while he examines Alexis, and I suggest that unless he intends to remove me himself, he should get on with it. That earns me a glare from Alexis.
The examination takes a frustratingly long time. Dr. Steinman asks questions, and Alexis answers. He prods around her stomach. Sometimes they make little jokes. Neither of them seems stressed about the situation, and for some reason, that stresses me out more. If anything happens to Alexis or this baby, I am going to string Dr. Steinman up from the ceiling.
Finally, the doctor provides his diagnosis. “The cramps are normal,” he says. “It could be anything from the rapid growth of the fetus to changing hormone levels to gas. Nothing to worry about. I’d recommend some acetaminophen for the pain.”
Cool relief floods through me. I lean against the wall and let out a long breath, watching as the doctor packs up his things and hands Alexis the pills.
“Thank you,” she says, smiling.
“My men will show you out,” I add, gesturing toward the door.
Dr. Steinman nods as he passes me, looking somewhat nervous. Good. I’m glad I make him uneasy.
When we are alone again, I climb onto the bed with Alexis and pull her into my arms, careful not to squeeze this time.
“Thank God,” I whisper. “I was so worried.”
“It’s fine, Gabriel,” she says with a laugh. “You need to chill out more.”
“How can I?” I reply. “I don’t know what I would do if something happened to our child. And in this, I am powerless.”
She strokes my cheek, pressing a soft kiss to my shoulder. “I know.”
I let my eyes fall closed. Both of us fall asleep like that—fully dressed, with the lights on, tangled in each other’s arms.
28
Gabriel
I am startled awake by a knock at the door early the next morning. Alexis slumbers on, mouth agape, snoring slightly. She’s still the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen.
I gently extricate myself from the bed and tiptoe toward the door, not wanting to wake her. She needs all the rest she can get, so I’m annoyed that somebody has deigned to wake us, though if they have, it must be important.
I open the door a crack and slide through, closing it quietly behind me. Angelo is waiting for me, smiling.
“Silvano’s awake,” he whispers. “The doctor’s just finished checking him out, and it looks like he’s going to be okay.”
“Thank fuck.” I take a deep breath. “Have Victoria bring some coffee up to his room. I’m going to go talk to him.”
Angelo nods and heads for the stairs. I walk down to the makeshift hospital ward and knock on the door before letting myself in.
Silvano is sitting up in bed, and he straightens a little when he sees me enter. His skin is pale, though there’s more color in it than there was the last time I saw him. He’s no longer knocking on death’s door.
“Hey, boss,” he greets with an easy smile. His lips are dry and cracked.
“I knew you would pull through.” I sit on the chair next to his bed. “I’m just surprised it took you so long.”
Silvano lets out a bark of laughter. “Sorry, stopped for coffee on my way back to the world of the living.” His smile fades a second later, as though sobered by the realization of how close he came to joining his brother. “I’m glad you’re here. I learned some things before we were attacked that you really need to know.”
Suddenly I realize it wasn’t the thought of death that sobered him. It’s the tale he lived to tell.
“What is it?” I ask.
“First, some good news,” he says. “I think I know where Kevin Lynch is. I overheard a conversation about a warehouse on the docks where Lynch is lying low. Since they don’t have much docks territory, he should be easy enough to find.”
“And the bad news?”
Silvano’s gray eyes blink slowly. “It’s about Alexis,” he murmurs. “I don’t know if it’s true.”
“Just tell me, Silvano.”
And he does.
Victoria comes into the room with a tray of coffee and two croissants just as he finishes, but I’m too shell-shocked by his words to stay for another second. I need to find out if there’s any truth in it. And if there is? Fuck, I don’t know what I’ll do. I don’t know if there’s anything I can do.
“Victoria, why don’t you stay and keep Silvano company for a bit?” I suggest, already on my way to the door.
She turns, a little bewildered by my evident distress. “Okay. Sure.”
I call Antonio the second I’m out the door. From the thickness of his voice, I can tell that I have woken him, but I don’t care. I tell him what Silvano told me.
“I need you to find out if it is true,” I say.
“It can’t be. It doesn’t make any sense.”
“Just find out,” I order. “And prepare the men for war. I think we’ve finally located Kevin Lynch.”
I spend most of the day avoiding Alexis, which isn’t fair. It’s like I’m worried that the second she sees me, she will read on my face what Silvano told me, even though I know that’s ridiculous. I just don’t know what to say to her, so I say nothing. I have a good excuse anyway, as I am busy preparing to finally put an end to Lynch.
Antonio works quickly, and by the time dusk has settled over the trees, we are ready to go into battle. Only then can I no longer avoid Alexis. There is a chance I won’t return from this mission.
I enter the nursery, where I find Alexis reading to Harry in the armchair in the corner of the room.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, immediately picking up on my stress.
“I have to go,” I say. “I have some urgent business to take care of.”
Harry looks over when he hears my voice and smiles. “Dada!”
Alexis’ eyes flash with concern. “This time is different. Why?”
I walk over, lifting Harry into my arms. He smells like baby powder and innocence. I hold him close, rocking back and forth.
“We think we’ve found Kevin Lynch,” I say. “And if we have, he’s going to be well protected.”
Alexis stands, folding her arms. She looks angry, which surprises me.
“Did you come in here to say goodbye?” she asks in a clipped voice. Her blue eyes narrow on mine.
“I did,” I admit. “Just in case.”
Harry twists his chubby finger in a lock of my hair and tugs. It hurts, but I can’t help but laugh. This in turn melts some of Alexis’ stern expression, though it ices back up again a moment later. She gets out of the chair and stands in front of me, trying to look big and fierce despite the gap in our height.