“Just checking. Wanna make sure you’re saving all of this for me,” I grumble, slipping my hand under the table I make sure to glide my finger up her thigh until I’m directly over her pussy, running it back and forth a couple of times.
“I’m not yours.”
“Not yet.”
“I won’t ever be, Mouser. I’m not interested in a relationship.”
“You say that now, but at some point I’ll change your mind, even if it kills me.”
“Why would you say something like that? You’re not in love with me. It doesn’t make sense.”
I chuckle. She wouldn’t understand. “No, I don’t love you. I’m in lust with you. Something about you has made my cock hard for weeks. I want to chase after you like a dog chases sheep. Love isn’t something that just happens, Dove. It’s forged over time, sometimes with flaming hot moments, others with sad. Between it all lies the normal ones.”
“You want to be in a relationship with me?”
I shake my head, “Not now, but I have a strong feelin’ like sooner or later my mind is gonna change, and there won’t be anything that will stop me from having you, Sakura. Not even some sourpuss of an ex-fuck who wants your cunt. And mark my words, if he so much as tries to touch you, I’m going to break his fuckin’ jaw.”
Chapter Ten
Love isn’t about being sexually attracted. That’s lust. It’s about actually caring about someone
~ Unknown
Sakura
All I can do right now is blankly stare at the man sitting across the table from me, trying to understand what’s going through his mind. He full on just admitted he isn’t in love with me, but lusts after me. Honestly, it sounds like he’s some player on the prowl. Or at least, that’s what I thought at first. Mouser made it a point to be transparent with me and tell me what he thinks is going to end up happening.
I don’t know how that makes me feel.
Honestly, I just feel numb. Not excited. Not freaked out. I’m just a woman, sitting across from a man who essentially vomited his future plans on me and I’m . . . just here.
All my life I knew I was not the type to be in a relationship. I’m not the type of woman who commits herself to a man only to get hurt or be used. After thinking about it, I realize why I’ve always felt that way. On my eighteenth birthday I remember I was called into my father’s office after dinner. It was the first day we ever drank sake afterwards and he had me sit on the couch across from my mother and he, while he went on to tell me I’d need to start thinking about the well-being of our family. I didn’t understand him then, but he made sure I grasped the idea that I would be like any other daughter of a powerful family. I would be married off to the son of someone just as powerful, used as a tool in yet another way.
This is why I don’t like the idea of commitment, because of my fucking family problems. Family issues. Whatever you want to call it. I roll my eyes as the memory resurfaces and my stomach turns at the thought of feeling a small semblance of what I felt that evening.
“You alright?” Mouser asks, reaching his hand across the table to grab mine. With each action I’m not sure what to make of him. If he was just lusting after me like he said, he wouldn’t have made it a point to try and offer me comfort, right?
“Um, yeah. I’m a bit taken aback by what you just confessed. I don’t understand it.”
“You don’t understand what?” He questions, drawing his brows together while his expression shifts. Now he’s confused.
“Why me? What is it about me that has you wanting me this way, or in the way you think you might?”
Mouser chuckles, and somehow his laugh feels like a breath of fresh air. With my hand in his, he rubs his thumb over the back of mine and looks at me with those delicate eyes of his. Eyes that hold so much strength but are the key to his kind heart. “You don’t have any idea just how much of a gem you are. Sakura, you’re smart. You’re sweet. You gave up the one thing that could keep you safe to save a baby. The honor you have is . . . a rarity at best. It doesn’t hurt that you’re gorgeous as all hell. In my eyes, you’re the whole package and I can tell you have high walls. I’m not a man who’s in a rush and I don’t mean to scare you, but I’m gonna break them down bit by bit until you feel comfortable with the idea of being with me.”
“Whoa. I thought you said you felt like you might? Not that you did.”
Mouser laughs yet again, “Why in God’s name would I give up the whole package?”
“Ugh, I need a drink.” I grumble, wishing this fruity soda was sake instead. Mouser might not know this, but he’s a complete mindfuck. I thought I knew what he was getting at earlier, but now I’m even more confused.
Mouser’s cell phone begins vibrating from the corner of the table. He’s quick to pick it up and looks at the screen. “It’s Damon. Reed reached out to Jordan Steele, who’s handling the darker parts of their family business these days. He’s assured us Lucian will be putting you back in the masking program within the hour.”
I’m sure the Reapers believe this is a good thing, but I’ve already been taken out of it, meaning my parents could’ve already discovered my whereabouts. Although, Mouser has a grim look on his face. “What’s wrong, you don’t seem relieved.”
“Gathering what I can about your family, I figure they’re relentless. You and I can probably agree they have people behind computers looking into facial recognition software for even a glimpse of you. That being said, they’ve probably figured something out by now.”
“I thought I’d be the only one who’d be a pessimist.”
He shrugs, “I can be on occasion. I know how families can be, so . . .”
“I doubt your family can be as horrid as mine.”
“They aren’t that bad, but we have our issues.” Mouser states, looking through the window to avoid meeting his eyes with mine.
“You know everything about my life from what I can tell. Might as well share a bit about yours so we’re even.”
Mouser looks back at me, closes his eyes and chuckles while he shakes his head. “I should’ve known you’d pull some shit like this. You are a woman after all. Alright, whatever you want Dove. Ask and you shall receive.”
“Are you an only child?”
“No, I have two sisters. Lennox and Farrah. Lennox is ballsy as all hell and it scares the fuck out of me. I’m worried she’s gonna get killed one day. Farrah, well, Farrah is . . . she’s the bratty little princess of our family. I love her to death, and my father and I spoil her rotten.”
“It must be nice to have siblings. I’m an only child now. As a kid, I hated the age gap my sister and I had but now . . . I think it’s better. It gave me insight to everything, really. What about your parents?”
“My dad’s name is Bow, and he used to be a Reaper years ago. He left the MC to be with my mom. After that they got jobs working with my Aunt Betti, who opened up a bail bondsmen company. My dad always liked kickin’ people’s asses, so the job suited him. Bet he never expected mom to get into the business.”