Which is why this breaks my heart even more.
“This is some fucked-up karma, isn’t it?” he says, wiping away the tears. “Because I cheated on Michelle, this is karma getting her payback on me?”
I shake my head. “I don’t believe that for one second.”
“You don’t? I was a bastard, Paige. You have no idea. I fucked anything that would walk. I didn’t give two shits who I hurt. If it made me more money and put me higher on the totem pole, I did it. I wasn’t much better when I was with Annika. I deserved this. No amount of picking up trash or canned food drives makes up for what I did.”
I grab either side of his face because I need him, even half-drunk, to hear this.
“You listen to me, Garrett Dixon. Were you a bastard in the past? Yes. Apparently, you were the king of the bastards. But the man here? Right now? He is not that man. This man has a heart so big that it’s about to burst out of his chest. This man makes his nephew and niece smile every day just from being there. This man gave an underprivileged high school athlete free medical treatment last week so he could make sure he was back for the next football season, because you knew he needed that time on the field to get a scholarship. This man is good and decent. The man you were back then? The only thing he did for you is help you become the man you are today. And as for Annika and Trevor? They can—”
The words die on my tongue because holy crap on a cracker, Garrett Dixon is kissing me.
At first I don’t move, because I have no idea what is going on. That only lasts until his tongue sweeps against my lips, and before I know it, I’m melting into him, kissing him back with just as much passion as he’s kissing me.
I know I shouldn’t do this. He’s drunk. Emotional. Literally five minutes ago he was crying on my couch. But my hands are now in his hair, and his arms are wrapped around my body, and, God, it’s been so long since I’ve been this close with a man.
He tastes of scotch and mint. His lips are soft and perfect. His beard feels amazing under my touch. This is everything I thought it would be. And Lord knows I’ve thought about this once or one hundred times.
Slowly, we break apart. I don’t know why because I could kiss this man all night.
“I’m sorry,” he says, quickly standing up.
“What?”
He’s sorry? He’s sorry for giving me what I’ve wanted for weeks? He’s sorry for giving me the best kiss of my life?
“I’m sorry.”
“Why? Why are you… did I?”
I don’t mean to sound pathetic, but when a man kisses the life out of you, who has infinite more experience than you do, then immediately apologizes, it’s kind of hard not thinking you did something wrong.
“No, that’s not it,” Garrett says, taking my hands in his as he sits back next to me. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long. Probably since the first night I met you. Definitely in the hospital. Absolutely during the champagne lunch. It’s just…”
“It’s just what?”
“It’s that you deserve better than a drunk, pathetic man who was crying on your couch. You deserve better than a rushed kiss because I’m feeling emotional. You deserve everything to be perfect and planned and… right. I’m just the bastard who wants to give it to you, even though I know I’m not worthy.”
I shake my head. “See, that’s where you’re wrong. You are worthy. I’m just waiting for you to hurry up and realize what I’ve known for months.”
My words soften his expression and he leans in again, only this time, I know what’s coming, so I’m able to meet him in the middle. This kiss is… God, how can it be better? Our tongues are now in unison, exploring and tasting and feeling everything.
That first kiss was perfect. This kiss is magical.
I hesitantly pull away, though the second I do, I miss the feel of his lips against mine. “It’s late, you shouldn’t drive home.”
He pulls me in closer, my head now on his shoulder. “Are you inviting me to stay the night, Miss Blackstone?”
“I am. But I don’t think we…” I take a breath, finding my resolve. “We need to take this slow. I don’t think we are ready…”
He gives me another squeeze and places a kiss on my forehead. One I have no trouble deciphering the meaning of this time.
“No. I might have fucked up our first kiss. I’m definitely not fucking up our first time together. I just want to hold you and fall asleep and deal with everything tomorrow.”
I stand and lead him up to my bedroom, grateful I was already in my pajamas. I work on tucking myself back into bed in order to distract myself from the strip show that I could have witnessed from Garrett taking off his slacks and shirt. We might have crossed a few bridges tonight, but a half-naked Garrett is something I am definitely not ready for.
Yet.
Once he’s in bed with me, he scoops me into his arms, turns me toward him and places my head on his shoulder, brushing away my hair before kissing my forehead once more.
“Thank you, Paige. I know I keep saying that, but… thank you.”
“You’re welcome. And thank you.”
“For what?”
I place a soft kiss on his chest before saying what I’ve wanted to say to him for a long time. “For being who you are.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Garrett
I wanted to stay in Paige’s bed forever. I haven’t slept that good in months, maybe years, and I know it had everything to do with the woman who was pressed against me all night.
But today is important and one that can’t be put off—I need to confront Trevor.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Mark says from the driver’s seat of his truck. “I mean, you know they have been fucking around before you asked for the separation. Why not just send what you have to the lawyer and let him do what you’re paying him to do?”
I let out a sigh because I’ve already gone over this with him. “Because I need him to admit it to me. Man to man. I need to hear it for my own sanity. I need to know why he would do this and jeopardize our business, let alone our friendship.”
“No, man, I get it. Just… we need you to not throw punches. Because if you throw, I’ll throw. Then we’ll probably end up in jail and I’ll have to call Charlie to come bail us out, and no one, especially me, wants that happening.”
He’s right. And I don’t want to fight. I just want answers. I have no clue if they will help me move on, or help me decide what I need to do with the practice, but I know that I can’t go forward until I know why. And how long. And how you can do that to a person you call your best friend.
Mark pulls into Trevor’s driveway, and as much as I want answers, I can’t move. It’s like I know if I take these steps forward, everything in my life is going to change.
“Be smart, man. I’ll wait here for you.”
I nod at my brother before making my way to Trevor’s door. I don’t think he and Annika saw us last night at the restaurant, at least, I hope not. I want the element of surprise.
I’ll find out more that way.