I lost my virginity in a small twin bed in his dorm room.
We never studied together again.
“What about you, Blackstone?” Chad asks. “What do you have cookin’ this weekend?”
I finish my margarita, licking the last bit of salt from the rim as I mentally put together my weekend calendar.
“Well, tomorrow I’m volunteering at the drug counseling center. Then there is a blood drive on Sunday I signed up for. Oh, I forgot that sometime this weekend I have to put together the agenda for the parent-teacher fundraising meeting next week. I think I have finally convinced the school to start a spring food drive, so I have to have all the details ready to present or else The Helicopters will try to take over.”
“What? You aren’t already starting to plan for the Christmas music program?”
“You’re right! I should start thinking about that. I bet if I—”
“Paige, I was joking,” Chad says, shaking his head at me. “My dear, sweet Paige. One of these weeks I’m going to ask you what you’re doing, and instead you’re going to reply with who you are doing.”
I flag down the waitress as I ignore Chad’s comment. So what if I prefer volunteering over dating? I might not have much in terms of romantic experience, yet I have to believe that giving back to the community will give me more fulfillment than a date with forced conversation, awkward flirting, and a fake promise to do it again sometime. I’ve heard the horror stories from my friends. Dating sounds absolutely awful.
Plus, I love giving back. Besides teaching, it’s my true passion. Volunteering started as a way to heal my broken soul and eventually became something in my life I didn’t know I needed.
I mean, honestly, it might not give me orgasms, but it leaves me feeling warm inside. That’s sort of the same thing, isn’t it?
And after the life I’ve led, I’ll take that all day, every day.
Chapter Five
Garrett
“Where are you going?”
Annika’s voice startles me as I’m reaching into the refrigerator for a bottle of water. I had really hoped that when I came home to change before Cullen’s music program that I wouldn’t run into my wife.
Stupid need for hydration.
“I’m going to our nephew’s Christmas program at his school. Judging by the way you’re dressed, I’m guessing you’re not, even though I left you a note about it. Then again, that would require you caring about anyone other than yourself. I wonder if Cullen and Makenna even know your name anymore?”
I’m surprised her eyes don’t get stuck in the back of her head as she rolls them. I knew she wouldn’t go tonight… she has never taken an interest in my side of the family. So why did I leave her a note? Only a shrink with a comfortable couch and time to kill could explain that one.
“So where to tonight, wife? The monthly meeting of Gold Diggers Anonymous? I didn’t think they met on Thursdays.”
“You’re an ass.”
My laugh comes out hard and gruff. “Tell me something I don’t know. I mean… we could get a divorce. Just say the word and we can start the separation process tomorrow.”
She taps a manicured nail against her lips, pretending to think about my words.
“See… I think you want a divorce a little too much. Which means that your eyes are starting to roam. I think I’ll bide my time. It will be quicker than the separation period. And it will give me a bigger payout when you can’t keep your dick in your pants.”
I stare at Annika, wondering what happened to get us here. I’m also kind of impressed she knows Virginia divorce rules and regulations. But before I can give her too much credit, I have to shut my eyes and look away. Annika’s dress is like a damn disco ball, with sequins and gems catching every corner of light. I can only guess where, or who, she is going out with tonight looking like that, and even though I had a few clever digs about her plans, I honestly couldn’t give a flying fuck.
I don’t see her during the week, unless we have a function to attend. And lately, those seem to be every night considering it’s the holiday season. I’ve had my fill of Annika lately, which was why I was hoping to avoid her tonight before heading to Cullen’s program.
We’ve been together for a little over five years, married for the last three, and each day it gets harder and harder to remember why we got married in the first place. I want to say it’s because I loved her, and maybe at the time I did, but as the days go on, I can’t remember what it was that I fell in love with.
When we first got together, she made me feel alive. I wasn’t a shell of the man I had become after I left New York. Despite Mark’s warnings that I was getting myself into the very same situation, I didn’t care — Annika lit a spark in me that I thought had burned out.
The amazing sex didn’t hurt either.
We met in a hotel bar after a medical convention I was attending in town and we were in a room three hours later. That should have been a huge red flag about the type of woman I was about to get involved with. At the time, I couldn’t see anything past her million-dollar smile and her runway-worthy body.
It should have just been that one night, but I quickly became addicted to Annika. And I’m pretty sure she became addicted to the lifestyle I wanted to build here in Virginia.
The one thing that stuck from my marriage with Michelle was that in order to build my practice here in Virginia, every social function was important—every stupid one. Yes, this town might be known for its tourists and summer vacations, but there is a lot of old money around here. And I was determined to make my way into that world. Annika was the perfect woman to do that with. She fit perfectly at my side, much like many of the expensive, form-fitting dresses that she liked to show off. Ones courtesy of my credit card. Ones I happily bought for her because they looked good on her and better on our bedroom floor later that night.
I didn’t mind. I loved showing her off. Having a beautiful woman at your side can do wonders for your image, and mine was skyrocketing with Annika on my arm.
And the sex? Holy fuck. When I had Annika in my bed every night, the thoughts of nurses and break rooms were far from my mind. The woman was as wild as she was insatiable. At the beginning of our relationship, I was pretty sure my dick was going to fall off from overuse.
Oh, the good ol’ days.
Like all married couples, things simmered down over time. I had to put in hours at the office, and even more when we decided to open the clinic. She was pretty upset about that—what’s the point of being married to a doctor if you can’t be seen around town on a nightly basis in a new dress?
She probably would have gotten over that. It was the whole cutting off her credit card thing that sent her spiraling.
I was all for buying her beautiful things, and I was at the time more than comfortable in the financial department, but not five-thousand-dollar earbuds’ comfortable. I told her she needed to chill out on the spending or I was cutting off her credit card. She tried to argue that if I was home more, she would spend less. It was a never-ending battle.
She thought I was bluffing and continued to spend. The straw that broke the camel’s back was a fifty-thousand-dollar crocodile skin umbrella. I about had a damn heart attack when I saw that on the credit card bill.