I started to give her a look to drop it when an idea hit me. “She isn’t answering your calls, but the calls are going through, right?”
Emberly nodded, head bouncing all kinds of awkwardly. “Yeah.”
I looked at Madison and was overcome with the urge to pull her close. Like it was natural to grab her and hold her to me when we were standing near each other.
I started reaching for her and forced my hand into a fist. “Can we use your phone?”
She blinked quickly. “My phone? Sure?” Realization lit in her eyes, and her voice dropped lower as she reached into her pocket. “Oh. Why you’re here?”
“Part of it,” I said, gratitude weaving through my voice when she handed me the phone. I held it out toward Emberly but kept it in my grip. “You want me to do this?”
She snatched the phone from me in response.
“Thank you,” I said when I turned back to the reason behind the intoxicating rush pounding through my veins. “I’ll explain when there aren’t a dozen people watching us.”
The corners of her lips turned up as her eyes darted around. “Right.” She brushed back some of the hair that fell in her face and cleared her throat. “What you said before Avalee showed up . . .” One of her shoulders lifted. “When you dropped me off last night, I’d been thinking we needed a little space too—time to think about everything we’d said. About all the things happening in our lives. What happened then.”
Her blue eyes met mine, all need and passion and fire that I wanted to fuel. “Then I woke up in a panic early this morning because I thought we were in Seattle. That Raf had forced us to go back there. I know it’s a possibility—that he could get an attorney, and I won’t have a choice. And he might. I wouldn’t put it past him after everything else.”
I forced my free hand to relax when it curled into a fist at the thought. At the knowledge that he had the power to do that.
“But I—” Her face creased with an intriguing mixture of hesitation and worry and determination. “The longer I lay there, thinking about that possibility, the more I realized I don’t want space from you. I want to figure everything out with you . . . together. And you might not agree, and that’s fine. But I figured you should know where I’m at—especially after where we left things last night.” Her shoulders lifted in the barest of shrugs. “I’ve already lost enough time with you.”
It took everything to stand there. To not pull her into my arms and kiss her. To remember what she’d just said when all I wanted was to tell her I was right there with her. “You gonna tell me why that happened? Why we lost that time?”
“My choices and mistakes.”
There was truth in what she was saying, I could hear it. But it wasn’t an answer.
When my lips parted, she hurried to say, “The details won’t help you understand these past thirteen years, Hunter. If anything, it will make you hate them more.”
“But if I don’t know the details, how do I know it won’t happen again?”
“It won’t.”
“But I don’t know that,” I said solemnly. I gestured away with the cup of coffee. “How can I know tomorrow you won’t be telling me you don’t wanna be tied to me and you’re leaving?”
Regret and agony filled her eyes, but she never looked away from my stare. “There isn’t a way for me to make you know that won’t happen.”
“If you would—”
“Hunter, I want to tell you, but I can’t,” she whispered, the words filled with so much anguish that it gripped at my heart and squeezed.
Madison jolted, but I remained still, unable to look away when someone cleared their throat beside us.
But then Madison’s dread and humiliation broke through, and I finally glanced to the side, noting Emberly’s expression as she pointedly looked at us.
Emberly.
Because Madison and I weren’t alone. We were still standing in the middle of Brewed.
Fucking hell.
“Here’s this,” Emberly said softly as she handed Madison’s phone back. “It was very helpful, thank you.” Once Madison had taken the phone, Emberly began pushing drinks her way. “And here are these.”
“T-thank you,” Madison stammered. “I’m sorry for—”
“Don’t be,” Emberly said quickly, waving her off. “Not sure anyone could hear you except me. Not for lack of trying, though.”
Madison was all uneasy sarcasm when she replied, “Fantastic.” Gathering up the three drinks in her hands, she gave Emberly a little smile and then glanced my way. All that glow that had been bursting from her just minutes before was nowhere to be seen. “I want to give you everything, Hunter. But I can’t give you that.”
Sorrow and worry bled from her as she turned and stole away to where her mom and daughter were in the corner of the café with a spread of books in front of them.
To a place I couldn’t follow because, of all the things I wanted to push Madison on, her daughter wasn’t one of them. And even though she’d laid out where she wanted to be with me, Madison never said if that changed her stance on me being around Avalee.
I forced my stare to Emberly and raised a brow in question before letting my attention drift to the far corner again.
“She answered,” Emberly said softly. “She’s struggling, but I think she’s more worried about Sawyer.”
I nodded and started stepping back when she asked, “You gonna be okay?”
How was I supposed to answer that?
I’d destroyed half of my heart that morning.
Because of Madison, I was more okay than I’d been in a long damn time. And with each time I pushed her on why she’d left, she gave me a little more. Nothing to even hint at why, but enough to make me positive she hadn’t just decided she was done with this town and me. Enough to let me know something had been behind it all.
I wasn’t sure if I was more desperate than ever to know . . . or if I was scared as hell to find out.
“Gonna be fine,” I murmured as I turned, ignoring the curious stares and whispers as I headed out of Brewed and walked away from the girl who set my blood on fire.
Gonna be just fine.
“Until time stands still,” Avalee echoed back to me, her laugh bouncing off the walls as I tickled her sides and peppered her cheeks with kisses. “Mommy!”
“It wasn’t me. It was Red,” I said, all affectionate teasing as I bopped her head with her stuffed octopus.
“Red,” she chided, even as she wrapped her arms around him and hugged the animal tight.
My smile broadened as I stood from the bed, giving her arm a little squeeze. “Night, sweet girl.”
“Night, Mommy! See you when I wake up.”
I sent her a little wink before shutting off the light. “See you when you wake up.”
As soon as I was out of her room and had the door shut behind me, I released a weighted breath and wrapped my arms tight around me.
Unease wove through me and made it hard to breathe as I headed for the stairs as if walking toward my own funeral. Mind whirling with every reason why Raf would want to talk.