Dan shot Gisele a glance.
Oh, come on, give me a break, Ralph fidgeted while they procrastinated. Come on, goddammit, I’m not going to get on my knees and beg. Get out of the way, he grumbled, maneuvering his wheelchair toward the front door. Jesus Christ, I used to love that, at night.
Let’s go so I can breathe some of that warm spring air.
It was two days before Richard would speak to him again, when Dan showed up with Mona’s tickets.
It was almost noon and he’d just gotten up, face dog-tired and eyes bloodshot. He’d opened the door and turned around without a word, leaving Dan at the doorway with the kind of grunt he generally reserved for intruders, door-to-door salesmen, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and process servers of any stripe.
You’ve lost your phone, Dan said, joining him in the sun-drenched kitchen.
Richard planted himself in front of the coffee maker.
Why. I’m the one you came to see. You got something to say to me, he muttered without turning around.
Dan pulled up a chair and sat down, tickets in hand.
If I had anything to say to you, it would be to drop the idea. You should listen to me. You don’t fuck with guys like that. Not you. Not me. Not anyone. We’re out of our depth.
When Richard turned around, he was almost unrecognizable, so red was his face in spots, and white, blotchy white. Not to mention his rictus. Sometimes, when they were in the thick of it, sweat dripping down their garishly painted faces, he wore that same terrifying expression, and Dan was always glad it wasn’t aimed at him.
You think I’m dumber than that bunch of morons, you think they scare me.
It won’t work. It’s bullshit. They’ll never buy it. They won’t even bother to verify. They’ll pop you without so much as word one.
We’ll see about that. Well, you won’t. You’ll be all comfy in your La-Z-Boy smoking your pipe. Shit, I can’t fucking believe this.
There was a hint of melancholy, of weariness in that last statement. He spread the flaps of his bathrobe and let himself drop onto a chair on the other side of the Formica table transformed into a puddle of tepid silver.
I’ll do it alone. I’ve made up my mind and I’m not about to change it. Anyway, thanks a lot, I’ll never forget your help, he added, leaning toward Dan. No need to tattoo your name on my forearm. And now you’re free to leave, compañero, no one’s keeping you.
Listen, the guy with the Alfa, I checked up on him, I found out a few things. Do you know who that asshole is. Do you know who he works for. You think you can sucker people like that. So just forget about it. Think for a minute. Every scheme, every possible angle, every swindle, he knows them all, that’s what he does.
Richard blinked, looking mean.
Do you know what the fuck I do here. How I spend my life. All the pressures I have. Do you know what it means to have rent and bills to pay, two women to take care of, a shitload of debt. You don’t know. You think I’m making this up. You think I’ve got the cash to pay off his car after what happened. I hope you haven’t forgotten that little episode, at least. You didn’t exactly come to my rescue, as I recall. If you’ve got a better plan, I’m all ears. But you don’t. There isn’t one. We’re fucked up the ass. They’ve dumped us like turds. Remember what your bastard dad said to us. He was right.
Boys, you’re fighting the wrong war. That’s what he said. It was your fucking bastard banker father who was right.
Dan started playing with his teaspoon, moving a sugar cube like a slow skiff across the silvery waves.
I figured you’d bust my balls about this, Richard said, but I didn’t think you’d let me down. I never thought that could happen.
I have no desire to lay flowers on your grave, okay. But I will if that happens. At least you can count on that.
He stood up, set the tickets on the table. She can call me, he said. Or you take her. I’m starting to get fed up with that movie.
I’m not giving you a ride, went Richard.
It was a difficult moment for Dan. This was the worst they’d ever weathered. They hadn’t always seen eye to eye, they’d had their shouting matches, hadn’t spoken to each other for days, but this went beyond all that. A bridge had collapsed. And it was far from over. He spent the afternoon at the bowling alley, checking and rechecking with Ralph by phone to make sure everything was set. The first warm days brought customers in, all the lanes were busy, and he had to keep a constant watch on the machinery. The balls slid nonstop into their cages, the pins flew in all directions, exploded without end.
That evening, he sped straight to Marlene’s. He decompressed. He smoked a cigarette with her after they’d fucked, then got dressed, feeling much lighter.
It’s nice at your place, he said, hopping on one leg to pull on his trousers.
It’s furnished, she answered. You sure you have to go.
Sure and certain. I have to be up early tomorrow, I want to get in a run and do my exercises. I’m not being very disciplined these days.
Once outside, in the lit street, he breathed easier. The air was cool. It stung after a while. The sky was wide open and he’d enjoyed the hour they’d spent together. He still wasn’t sure about the long term, but he was sleeping better, it did him good to make love with her. They had more or less decided to keep it to themselves for now, no one needed to know, and that slight air of secrecy fit Dan like a glove. No commitment. No play-acting. No hesitation.
She wasn’t making demands, and that was fine by him, even essential. The fact that she hadn’t asked for anything scored her another point. Dan’s phone rang. Mona told him to forget about the movie, and that he could go fuck himself.
She was very fond of her dad. Ralph called soon afterward to let him know they had the shack and that Gisele had managed to procure all the necessaries from the hospital.
Ralph, I don’t know what I’d do without you.
And Gisele.
Right, and Gisele. In any case, I’m getting it in the neck.
I can imagine.
When I tell my mother about this, she’ll never believe it.
She loves him like a son.
How’s she doing.
Not bad. It’s her head—not much you can do about that. When I talk about you, she knows who you are.
She sends her love.
What really scares the shit out of me is getting old.
Yeah. I dunno. You’re probably right.
After hanging up, Dan took a good long shower, nice and cold, dried in front of the open window, and was asleep in no time. If he hadn’t had a nightmare, he would surely have slept straight through till morning. But he jolted awake screaming and shook in terror for several long minutes; fortunately, he covered his mattress with a rubber sheet and kept his meds and slippers handy.