She closed the distance between them and slipped her arms around his neck. He flinched at the contact because it felt so right. So damn right. He didn’t deserve it after what he’d just done. How he’d ruined her morning with jealousy and control issues. “I lied to you once and I won’t do it again. That’s why I didn’t say it.” She pulled back and kissed his mouth lightly. “Drive me home?”
He closed his eyes so he couldn’t see her. If he kept looking, he’d kiss her and lose himself. She’d make him forget about the shame and he wouldn’t allow that. “You know I will.”
They drove home in silence, although he could feel Lucy throwing occasional glances in his direction. He was glad she didn’t speak or try to discuss what happened, how he’d overreacted. What the hell would he say? He had no explanation for what she did to him. Inside him. When they pulled up in front of the town house, he felt a flare of panic at the prospect of watching her leave, but reminded himself that her itinerary was at home on his kitchen table. He could relax marginally knowing where she’d be tomorrow, even if he knew he’d spend every moment until then convincing himself to stay away.
“Matt?”
Cautiously, he glanced at her. “Yeah.”
“I would have made you meat loaf.” Her hands fidgeted in her lap, but she held his stare. “For your first meal back, I mean. I would have made you meat loaf.”
He couldn’t summon words as she jumped out of the car and speed-walked toward the town house, dragging his bleeding heart along behind her.
Chapter Eleven
Lucy set her oversize tote bag down very gently in deference to its contents and plopped down beside it on the grass. Union Square Park was a beehive of activity even in the middle of a workday, couples sharing lunch from food trucks, dog walkers struggling to keep control of their charges, tourists mapping their next destination. She let her gaze wander over the interweaving crowd, looking for a sign of the group she’d come to meet. There were a few people meandering around on the steps, holding bags similar to hers. They made subtle eye contact with her, then looked away.
She hid her smile and leaned back in the grass, estimating she still had about five minutes before the event started. Five more minutes until she could effectively distract herself from memories of yesterday. She’d had very little luck in the distraction department last night and this morning. Considering she’d been pleasured within an inch of her life by an insanely gorgeous and complicated ESU officer, then spanked in a public restroom, she figured she got a pass.
Matt. What the hell was she going to do about him?
At the trapeze school yesterday, she’d glimpsed something inside him that should have scared her. Instead, she’d been drawn closer as if pulled by an invisible rope. To soothe, to reassure, in his own unique way. Perhaps it had been the promise of finally getting underneath his tough outer shell. Or maybe her attraction to him didn’t allow for any other reaction apart from gravitating toward him. She hadn’t liked seeing him that way, anxiety pouring off him in waves. Somehow, she’d done that to him, which had tripled her compulsion to make it better.
Say you’re sorry for letting me touch you. She’d tossed and turned through the night trying to figure out what he’d meant by that. How could this gorgeous, larger-than-life man have a single insecurity? Yet that’s exactly what she’d seen when he let down his emotional brick wall yesterday. The strong, confident man had been rendered momentarily vulnerable. But she’d been just as attracted to that part of him as she was to his dominant side. Didn’t he realize that?
She groaned out loud at the memory of what she’d said to him as she exited the car. The feelings she’d revealed. I would have made you meat loaf. God, he likely thought she was either a simpleton or desperate. He must have broken the speed limit driving away from the town house. Combined with the scene in the bathroom, she probably wouldn’t be seeing him again. The thought lodged in her throat, making it difficult to swallow.
When she experienced the distinct feeling of being watched, she rocketed back into a sitting position and looked around the park for the source. It wasn’t just the feeling of being watched, it was the feeling of being perused. Studied. Heat traveled along her skin, beginning at her neck and moving down over her breasts and curling in her belly. She’d felt it at the outdoor movie, the same thickening of air around her. The sudden desire to be pushed down and ravaged. Matt was here. She just couldn’t find him through the gathering crowd.
There. Leaning back against his ESU truck, about fifty yards away. Her mouth went dry at the sight of him looking so authoritative, eyes hidden behind a pair of Ray-Bans. Now she knew it wasn’t just the uniform that made him seem so commanding. It was him. She knew the strict control he exercised and it excited the hell out of her. Even layered on top of the vulnerability she’d seen yesterday. Maybe more so because of it. God, she wanted him again. It startled her exactly how much.
At the moment, though, she’d settle for getting him to come over and simply talk to her. Then she remembered what was about to take place in the park. Oh no, he needed to stay put or he’d be in for a world of surprise and irritation. Quickly, she turned back around and pretended to be engrossed in her phone, hoping her lack of come-hitherness would keep him at a safe distance.
No luck. A moment later, a shadow darkened the ground around her. Dread in her stomach, she looked up and found Matt staring down at her, arms crossed over his chest. She couldn’t deny that having him towering over her in his shit-stomping boots, badge clipped to his hip, made her hormones twirl around an imaginary stripper pole.
“Lucy.”
His deep voice shivered its way through her. She could see herself reflected in his sunglasses, and her tiny likeness projected against his imposing figure made her dizzy. This man had brought her to the brink of insanity yesterday. How could he look so cool now? “How do you keep finding me?”
He glanced away. “You left your bucket list in my car.”
Oh. “And that means you have to keep showing up?”
She had a feeling he was glowering at her behind those dark sunglasses. “If you would just tell Brent your friend canceled on you, that you’re alone in the city all week, you wouldn’t have to do everything on the list by yourself.”
“Why haven’t you told him?” When he didn’t answer, she stood up and stepped into his personal space, looked up at him with all the seductiveness she could muster on short notice. “Maybe you like finding me alone, Chuckles?”
His jaw flexed, but still he said nothing.
Lucy sighed and stepped back. “He’s all content in his domestic bliss. I didn’t come here to throw a wrench into his engine, I came to help it run smoother.”
Matt considered her for a long moment. “How do you plan to do that?”
“By getting a job, easing the pressure. Leaving him alone,” she added under her breath.
He surprised her by laying a hand on her arm. “You really think you’re doing him a favor, don’t you?” When she simply looked at him, he shook his head. “You’re wrong.”
“Am I?” She glanced away. “You knew nothing about me the day we met. Nothing except what a shitload of trouble I am. A nuisance.”