She frowned, little lines forming between her eyebrows. Her gaze searched his face, trying to read his change of mood.
‘I came to find out whether you could help the girl.’
‘No.’ Jonan frowned. ‘I mean why are you here on Earth?’
Beth raised her eyebrows. ‘Look, I’m always up for an existential chat, but weren’t we in the middle of something?’
‘I’m not talking theoretically. I have memories most people don’t have. I remember why I chose to incarnate here on Earth, and I remember who I chose to incarnate with.’
Beth shook her head. ‘And?’
Jonan closed his eyes. Growing panic pulsed around him, pushing at his defences. He got up and stepped over to Beth’s chair, sitting on the arm. He reached out, and her skin was warm under his fingers when he took her hand. ‘I remember the contract I made before I was born. I know what I am here to do. And I know I made that contract with you.’
Beth paled. Her jaw tightened. She turned, looking away from him into the fire. Her hand was still in his, but it was rigid, unyielding.
‘We come from somewhere special, you and I,’ he whispered, dropping his psychic shields, letting every raw emotion show on his face for the first time. ‘That’s why I look different. It’s why you have had so many paranormal experiences.’
He let go of her hand, stood up and stepped back, giving her space. ‘We agreed to incarnate together for a purpose.’ His voice was rough. He could hear his own uncertainty, could see it reflected in Beth’s eyes as she turned back to him. ‘We incarnated to stop Amelia.’
He watched Beth for a reaction, but her face was a blank mask. Her hair fell down her back in a thick plait, wisps curling around her face. The light of the fire and the table lamps threw her high cheekbones into relief, making her look ethereal. He drew in a ragged breath. She was so like the girl he remembered in his dreams. He felt the energy of that connection beating at his skin, at the part of him that expanded out beyond his body. She was cracking him open, leaving him completely vulnerable.
The silence was suffocating, banging at his nerves, at his resolve. Was it too late to pretend it was all an elaborate joke?
‘Look, Jonan, I’m not as green as you think. I’ve been around the spiritual community for a long time. I know how quick people are to decide someone is their destiny. I understand the appeal, honestly I do, but I have not seen this path for myself. I go by feel, by gut instinct and my own experiences. I don’t just accept what other people tell me.’
Jonan swallowed. ‘Of course not. I wouldn’t expect you to. So you don’t have any sense of destiny?’
Beth gave a tight smile. ‘I believe I came for a reason, but I don’t know what that is. I feel my way through one day at a time.’
Jonan nodded. ‘And what feels right at this moment? Destiny or no, will you help us?’
She was silent. She watched him, her head tilted to one side, her long dark plait looped over her shoulder. For a moment, he imagined there were flowers woven though the strands. He saw the flash of a tattoo in the middle of her forehead, and then it was gone. It was just Beth watching him, chewing her lip as she thought.
Tension was thrumming through Jonan’s veins, working its way out through the tapping of his fingers on the arm of the chair and the racing of his heart. ‘Do you think I’m crazy?’
Beth swallowed. ‘I want to think you’re crazy, I’m not going to lie. It would be easier, but it’s not right. There’s something more to it, I just don’t understand what. I might help you, but I still don’t understand what you want me to do.’ Her eyes were huge. Jonan was in real danger of losing himself in them. Her irises shone a deep purple, and he wondered if she knew that she too had these signs of their heritage. Her energy was changing, shifting as he watched. Something was waking up in her, but would it be enough?
‘Tell us things,’ Doriel said.
Jonan looked up. Doriel stood in the kitchen doorway. She was dressed the same, her hennaed plait still looped over her shoulder, her long flowing skirt still skimmed with bells at the hem, but she looked completely different. Jonan didn’t often see the real Doriel any more. She was so good at hiding her energy, she rarely let it out. Now, she was dazzling. She seemed taller, her eyes shone a rich purple, and her ears elongated into shimmering blue points. When she moved, she appeared to glide over the floor.
Jonan looked at Beth, her lips were parted in a gasp, her eyes locked onto Doriel’s brilliance.
Jonan stood up, releasing his own energy from the hold he had become so used to keeping on it. His aura stretched, expanded and shimmered in the air as the brightness became almost palpable. His heart soared. The release allowed him to lift up and away from the Earth-plane fog, and his heart expanded with joy.
Beth’s energy called to him, and he let it in, allowing her familiar light to touch his own. He saw her struggle in the creases between her eyebrows, in the white of her knuckles where she clasped her hands together. He felt her anxiety in the beating of his own heart.
‘You can help us with Amelia, Beth. This is what we all came here to do.’ His voice was no more than a whisper, but it vibrated, setting off the pure brilliance of an overtone that resonated through the room.
Beth’s eyes widened. ‘I…’ Her voice cracked. She coughed. Then a barrier came down between them. She stepped back, her jaw hardening. ‘Why are you doing this? You only needed to explain yourself. By trying to intimidate me, you’re pushing me away.’
Jonan blanched. ‘Intimidate you? Is that what you saw?’ He stepped back, holding up his hands, shielding himself. ‘We were being real. We can’t often let our guard down, but I thought that with you…’
Beth flushed. ‘Of course. Be yourselves and I will do the same. I will help you if I can, but I won’t be pressured into doing things that feel wrong. And I won’t believe just because you tell me to.’
Jonan let out a breath. His shoulders slumped in relief. ‘Thank you. I would never ask for any more than that.’
Beth
IT WAS BARELY light when Beth jogged through town the next morning. Her breath came out in smoky gusts as she ran, the warmth inside her body a stark contrast to the biting cold on her skin.
She ran past the Third Eye Spiritualist Shop, slowing as an image of Jonan and Doriel filled her mind. Conflicting emotions warred within her, creating a knot that could have been either excitement or fear. Anticipation fizzed in her chest and a spike of irritation shot through her. Somehow they had both offended and dazzled her. Finding someone who spoke her own language was rare and thrilling, but the assumptions and condescension were maddening. What was she doing to make herself look so green?
She powered past the shop, trying to push it from her mind, to focus instead on the cold dampness of the pavement in front of her.
She increased her speed, running down Fishpool Street, and then coming to a halt in front of The Monk’s Inn. She felt the familiar churning in her stomach that told her there was something there and jogged on the spot as she narrowed her eyes, using her psychic sight to scan the building window by window. When she reached the last pane on the top floor adrenaline shot through her. A tear-stained face looked out through the grimy panes of glass. Her heart slammed against her ribcage, pounding in her chest. The girl had ringlets and her face was chalk white. A light flickered behind her then went out. The face disappeared. This was the girl Bill wanted to help.