But he doesn’t want me to stay. I’m not worth the trouble with the Unseelie Merit Court and his mother.
A tear tracks down my cheek. Just one. It’s all I’ll allow. I brush it away and glare at Ever. I hate this. I hate him.
“Lara.”
Finally, I nod. “Okay, yes! Yes, you sneaky faery freak. I’ll go back to Blackbrook if you can find a way to get me there.”
He kisses me hard, his lips soft, his demands the opposite. Snow falls. I melt. We kiss as though it’s not there. We kiss as though nothing exists but the electric current that runs between our bodies, ours gasps, our sighs.
He speaks against my swollen lips. “If I had a pure heart that deserved you, right at this moment, it would be splintered and broken. The things I have done… you cannot imagine.”
“The very worst will be this, sending me away.” My palms squeezing his cheekbones, I draw back farther. “And you can lie! You said what I had to give you if you won that game would be for me. But that’s not true because I don’t want to go. So, in truth, it’s for you. Because of that promise, you’ll be rid of me.”
“You know I cannot lie. It’s impossible. This word I take from you keeps you living. Saves you from the Merits. It is for you, Lara, not me.”
“I don’t want to leave you.”
“I don’t want you to leave either. Besides Raff, you are my only true friend, someone who cares for me not because I am the Prince of Five. And I vow to you that as black and corrupt as my heart is, it’s yours and yours alone. I give it to you freely. When you leave, you must take it with you. But you cannot remain here.”
“What will happen to you when I go?”
“What happens to all beings—eventually, I will cease to exist.”
“When? In two hundred years? Twenty? Tomorrow?”
“Hush now. Do not worry for me. All is as it should be.”
“But if I stayed, would it be so bad to be king?”
“You don’t understand. Aer will never allow us happiness together. Ether has her tethered for now, but she’ll find a way to get at you. And the Merits will try and destroy you before I can make you queen, and then I shall be another Court of Five heir destroyed by the curse. It will pass to Raff and repeat for all eternity, again and again. At least let me have the peace of knowing you will always be safe in Blackbrook.”
“Well, please don’t curse me to live there forever.”
Our breath white clouds in front of us, we hold each other tight and meander back to the mouth of the cave, taking our time.
I hug Raff goodbye. “Tell Magret I’ll miss her?”
“I will,” he says. “Be safe. I do not think this will be the last we’ll see of each other.”
“I hope you’re right.”
Ever steps forward and embraces me, pressing his forehead to mine, our breath mingling. “Goodbye, sweet Lara. You would have made a formidable queen and filled your king’s heart with endless joy.”
We clasp hands, squeezing hard. I don’t want to let go.
“Lara, it is time,” calls Ether, her body glowing white and lighting up the cave.
I let Ever’s fingers slide through mine and look past his shoulder. The falcons drift through a purple and silver sky. Balor sits beside Jinn, both are still and quiet, their intelligent eyes taking everything in.
One last, greedy inspection of Ever, soaking him up, the broad shoulders now hunched in sorrow, his hair a mess, his pouting top lip, silver eyes burning and hungry. I wish… I wish he could be mine forever.
Swallowing the words creeping up my throat: I love you, I step inside the cavern of smooth black tourmaline. Moonstone stalactites drip from the ceiling, and on the other side of a rippling pool, a thick curtain of water cascades down, infusing the earth-scented air with a fresh zest.
“Come now, Lara, hurry.” Ether stands on moss-coated rocks near the pool, her arms raised. Out of nowhere a chariot appears drawn by two amber-colored horses. My head spins, my vision tunneling. I feel drunk. Nauseous.
“Wait. Mom marked me with the garnet dragonfly because of you. And now you’re helping me get home, why?”
“The threads of fate are woven tight. How else would he have recognized you, child? You are going where you need to go. Trust me.”
“One more thing. Will something like a hundred years have passed while I’ve been gone?” Everyone I know might be old and gray. Or worse. Dead.
“Only six months have passed in your world—the glamor I placed on your loved ones holds. They will be surprised to see you, yes, but they won’t question why you went or the exact details of your travels. Your choir work with Brazilian street children in Sao Paulo went very well, apparently.”
“My choir…?” I shake my head imagining the strange tale woven into the minds of my friends and family. “Good grief, you people are alarming.”
“Yes. We can be.” She smiles as if I’ve complemented her. “Enough talk. The portal is open, Lara. Alight with haste. Your transport will not wait forever.”
My transport won’t wait forever.
Forever.
Wait for ever.
For. Ever.
Ever.
I’m really leaving. I’m going home. Adrenaline spikes through my blood. “I can’t leave him,” I whisper desperately.
“You can and you must. How else will he be able to follow? Keep faith, Lara, and go now.”
The curtain of water vibrates, the spray spreading goosebumps on my skin as I climb aboard the golden contraption and flick the reins with shaking hands. The carriage plunges into the pool of water, rocking and rolling precariously. Maybe this is all a terrible trick, and I’m going to drown.
As the waterfall hits my skin, it burns like acid. Heart shuddering, I look over my shoulder into Ever’s anguished silver eyes. The Prince of Air stands at the edge of the water, hands outstretched as though he’s about to leap across the pool and rip me from the carriage.
“Ever!” I cry, wishing he would just hurry up and do it, drag me off this thing and pull me against his chest. Make me his queen. Become king. Surrender to the curse.
The last thing I hear before icy water rushes over me and I disappear behind the waterfall, is the muffled sound of my name.
“Ever,” I scream as the blackness takes me, lifts me, spinning the chariot in circles through a terrifying landscape of nothingness. Black, only black. And up, up, always upward until my brain splinters and disintegrates.
Don’t lose consciousness.
Look around. Search for clues. Search for ways back to Talamh Cúig. To Ever.
Before I succumb to the darkness I think: Keep the faith. Keep the faith.
And then as my eyes roll back in my head: Ether said he will follow.
He will follow.
Body limp and spinning through darkness, my mouth moves, no sound coming out.
But when? When will he follow?
A second later, and I’m gone.
I cease to exist.
I am nothing.
Chapter 22
NEVER ALONE
Never
I sit on a boulder overlooking the orchard, elbows planted on my knees as I watch the gardeners pick fruit in the rain while my list of neglected duties grows ever longer. I should be hunting draygonets. I should be carousing with courtiers, planning and scheming with advisers, arguing with the queen. Laughing with Raff. Instead, I sit here brooding.