“Everything all right?” the bartender asks, and I realize I’m holding my hand to my heart, a harsh grimace on my face.
“Yeah, fine. Give me a round for the table.” I slip off the bar stool and go back to the others. The bartender places drinks down for everyone a couple minutes later. “A peace offering.” I try to smile, and drop a peck to Remy’s cheek.
“Shit,” he mumbles, his face losing color as he looks over at whoever’s entered the bar behind me. The atmosphere shifts, and I don’t have to look. I’ve always felt his presence without ever having to see him. Alec.
A shadow descends over me, sending a wave of goosebumps over my flesh. The pounding of my heart roars in my ears, forcing me into a woozy haze. It could be the shots. No, it’s him.
“Can we help you? This is a wake,” someone informs the Royal Bastards invading our little corner.
Remy shifts uncomfortably in his seat, his cut declaring him a Demon like a neon sign. Shit, this is the exact situation I wanted to avoid. This place isn’t even popular. The only reason he’s here is because he knew I would be.
I close my eyes breathing, my lungs seizing. Trying to gain some control, I gulp down the jittering nerves as they begin taking seats around us. “We’re here for the wake.” I recognize that voice. My eyes open to find Jameson. Wow. He let his facial hair grow in. It suits him. My eyes flick to his patch. Enforcer. “Hey, kid.” He grins over at me, and for no reason, tears build in my eyes.
“Excuse me,” I choke out, standing and turning my back on them. I can’t see Alec’s face. I don’t think I’m strong enough. Why the hell did I come here? I burned these bridges to ash. I can’t just walk back over them. My aunt wasn’t worth this kind of torture. She hated me and was an evil, thieving asshole.
Rushing into the bathroom, I splash my face with cold water and swallow down much needed breaths. “Just leave. Go out the back, call Remy, tell him to meet me back at the motel, grab our shit, and leave this place.”
A toilet flushes, and an older looking lady steps out of one of the stalls. She looks over at me, then scanning our surroundings. Seeing I’m alone, she says, “You okay, darling?”
No. I haven’t been okay since I left here—left him. I’ve bounced from place to place, seeing the world, but nothing ever felt right—nothing ever felt like home. Alec is your home.
When I don’t offer an answer, she leaves without washing her hands. Gross.
Inhaling a deep breath, I swipe beneath my eyes and tell myself to stop being a coward. As soon as I pull open the door to leave, a meaty hand wraps around my upper arm, making me squeak in surprise. Before I can grasp what’s happening, I’m pinned against the wall, a tall body stalking over me. Is he sniffing my hair?
“Fuck, Drew, you’ve been gone too long, baby.” The words awake all the places that have been dormant since I left him. A stone lodges in my throat, a burning inferno setting my eyes ablaze.
He’s bigger, voice deeper, but his scent? It’s the same. Fresh-cut grass, chrome, and leather. My heart dies a thousand times over. Every fiber of my being wants to dissolve into him and be the carefree kids we once were, but too much has happened. Although years have passed, the pain is still raw. It will always be raw.
I place my hands on his stomach. His muscles jump at the contact. The natural arousal of being this close to him is still as severe, sending a wave of need through me. No one has ever met the intensity of Alec for me. Every touch, kiss, moment with him was a high I’ve been chasing for years.
“Don’t touch me,” I breathe, attempting to push him away.
“You just ran away. You broke me, Drew—destroyed me inside,” he mumbles against my ear, his head bowed, trying to nuzzle into me.
“No.” I shove him away, and this time, he allows it. I don’t know what’s worse: feeling him around me, his scent invading all my senses, or seeing his remarkable face for the first time in so long. He’s so devastatingly beautiful. My heart weeps at the sight of him.
Tears drip to my cheeks. I can’t catch my breath. My legs won’t move. I need to run. Dark eyes bleed into mine, telling me a thousand unspoken words. He looks the same, but also different. I see my Alec looking back at me, but someone new too—someone hardened by life.
Why can’t I stop loving him?
Seventeen
Animal
Twenty-eight years old
Moments before…
At the sight of her, my fucking heart almost burst through my ribcage and splattered at her feet. Heat flooded my body. The urge to shake the shit out of her for fucking leaving me nearly buckled me. How could she leave me? Fuck, it still aches. My heart froze over when she left, and now it feels like mush in my chest.
She’s got her back to me, and she’s still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Shit, look at her.
I march straight over to the table, my shadow claiming her. Her rigid shoulders tell me she knows I’m here. My brothers make themselves at home around the table. Did she really think she could roll into my town and I wouldn’t know?
She stands abruptly and rushes for the bathroom.
I follow, waiting outside like a ravenous wolf. An old lady comes out the door, startling when she sees me and rushing away. Drew opens the door a minute later, and my muscles flex with the need to crush her to me.
Her mouth pops open when I grab her arm and move her to the wall. I close in around her, soaking her in. It’s been too long. My body sags over hers, her pretty peach scent bleeding into me. “Fuck, Drew, you’ve been gone too long, baby,” I mumble. Her hands push at my stomach, but I can’t move. I need to feed on her for a second. I’ve been starved of her for too long.
“Don’t touch me,” she exhales, shoving a little harder.
“You just ran away. You broke me, Drew—destroyed me inside.” The words fall from my lips without preamble. I haven’t felt this vulnerable in so long—this consumed by any feeling other than anger. The pit in my soul that screams for violence and chaos to quiet the constant agony of her absence is now ash because she’s here.
“No,” she barks more urgently, and I move away. Our eyes clash. Salty rivers run from her eyes, creating an almost glow. She’s heartbreakingly beautiful, natural and classic. The dusting of freckles a reminder of the girl I used to know, but the fullness of her lips, her toned jaw, the defined apples of her cheeks remind me she’s not her. She’s a woman now—a stunning one. The curls she used to hack off flow down her back, blonde shades mixing with the brown strands.
“I missed you,” I tell her, aching to touch her mouth with mine.
“I can’t do this,” she pants, shaking her head like she can’t believe this is happening.
“Where have you been? I looked everywhere for you.”
“You shouldn’t have. I told you not to.”
Is she serious? Did she not fucking love me the way I loved her? I lived for her. She was my everything—fuck…she is my everything.
“You shattered my fucking soul and sanity when you ghosted—not one fucking word from you.” I feel the anger coming back.