Sometimes I think my father knows more than the other Chassidim in our town, even more than Rabbi Borowitz who leads our tiny kehilla, and the bare bones prayer minyan of ten men that Tati sometimes helps complete. There are many things my father likes to keep secret, like his morning dips in the Dniester River that I never see, but know about, his prayer at the graveside of Reb Mendele, and our library. Our walls are covered in holy books—his sforim, and I often fall asleep to the sound of him reading from the Talmud, the Midrash, and the many mystical books of the Chassidim. The stories he reads sound like fairy tales to me, about magical places like Babel and Jerusalem.
In these places, there are scholarly men. Father would be respected there, a king among men. And there are learned boys of marriageable age—the kind of boys Tati would like me to marry someday. In my daydreams, they line up at the door, waiting to get a glimpse of me—the learned, pious daughter of the Rebbe. And my Tati would only pick the wisest and kindest for me.
I shake my head. In my heart of hearts, that’s not really what I want. When Laya and I sleep in our loft, I look out the skylight above our heads and pretend that someone will someday find his way to our cabin, climb up onto the roof, and look in from above. He will see me and fall instantly in love.
Because lately I feel like time is running out. The older I get, the harder it will be to find someone. And when I think about that, I wonder why Tati insists that Laya and I wait until we are at least eighteen.
I would ask Mami, but she isn’t a scholar like Tati, and she doesn’t like to talk about these things. She worries about what people say and how they see us. It makes her angry, but she wrings dough instead of her hands. Tati says her hands are baker’s hands, that she makes magic with dough. Mami can make something out of nothing. She makes cheese and gathers honey; she mixes bits of bark and roots and leaves for tea. She bakes the tastiest challahs and cakes, rugelach and mandelbrot, but it’s her babka she’s famous for. She sells her baked goods in town.
When she’s not in the kitchen, Mami likes to go out through the skylight above our bed and onto the little deck on our roof to soak up the sun. Laya likes to sit up there with her. From the roof, you can see down to the village and the forest all around. I wonder if it’s not just the sun that Mami seeks up there. While Tati’s head is always in a book, Mami’s eyes are always looking at the sky. Laya says she dreams of somewhere other than here. Somewhere far away, like America.
4
Laya
I always thought
that if I worshipped God,
dressed modestly,
and walked in His path,
that nothing bad
would happen
to my family.
We would find
our path to Zion,
our own piece of heaven
on the banks
of the Dniester River.
But now that I’m fifteen
I see what a life
of pious devotion
has brought Mami,
who converted
to our faith—
disapproval.
The life we lead
out here is a life apart.
I wish I could go to Onyshkivtsi.
Mami always tells me stories
about her town
and Saint Anna of the Swans
who lived there.
Saint Anna
didn’t walk with God—
she knew she wasn’t made
for perfection;
she never tried
to fit a pattern
that didn’t fit her.
She didn’t waste her time
trying to smooth herself
into something
she wasn’t.
She was powerful
because she forged
her own path.
The Christians
in Onyshkivtsi
built a shrine
to honor her.
The shrine marks a spring
whose temperature
is forty-three degrees
all year,
rain or shine.
Even in the snow.
It is said
that it was once home
to hundreds of swans.
Righteous Anna used to
feed and care for them.
But Mami says the swans
don’t go there anymore.
There is rot
in the old growth—
the Kodari forest
senses these things.
I sense things too.
The rot in our community.
Sometimes it’s not enough
to be good,
if you treat others
with disdain.
Sometimes there’s nothing
you can do
but fly away,
like Anna did.
By Tasha Suri
THE BOOKS OF AMBHA
Empire of Sand
Realm of Ash
Praise for
Empire of Sand
“A stunning and enthralling debut, Empire of Sand thoroughly swept me away. With wonderfully lyrical prose, Suri deftly balances fantastic worldbuilding with a nuanced exploration of family ties and the lengths one will go for love. A quiet, powerful and unexpected love story set in a crushing world of magic and tyrants, Empire of Sand is a gripping tale of survival I’ll be recommending for a long time!”
—S. A. Chakraborty
“A brilliant debut that shows us a rich, magical world with clear parallels to this one: It has a sadistic leader with a cult-like following who warps the world for personal gain, a few individuals with the strength to resist him, and a planet seeking balance. But its core is a heroine defined by her choices, and her journey is absorbing, heart-wrenching, and triumphant. Highly recommended.”
—Kevin Hearne
“The best fantasy novel I have read this year. I loved it!”
—Miles Cameron
“Empire of Sand is astounding. The desert setting captured my imagination, the magic bound me up, and the epic story set my heart free.”
—Fran Wilde
“I was hooked from the moment I began Tasha Suri’s gorgeous debut novel, Empire of Sand. Suri has created a rich world full of beautiful and powerful magic, utterly compelling characters, high stakes, and immersive prose. I absolutely loved it!”
—Kat Howard
“A darkly intricate, devastating, and utterly original story about the ways we are bound by those we love.”
—R. F. Kuang
“A lush, atmospheric, and sweeping epic fantasy, a powerful story of resistance and love in the face of terrifying darkness. You’ll want to devour Empire of Sand.”
—Aliette de Bodard
“Genuine, painful, and beautiful. A very strong start for a new voice.”
—Kirkus (starred review)
“Complex, affecting epic fantasy.… Intricate worldbuilding, heartrending emotional stakes… well-wrought prose.”
—Publishers Weekly (starred review)
“The desert setting, complex characters, and epic mythology will captivate readers.”
—Booklist (starred review)
“This is the future of fantasy: rich, complex, unflinching. Empire of Sand is a stunning achievement.”
—Mark Oshiro
“Riveting and wonderful! A fascinating desert world, a compelling heroine, and a richly satisfying conclusion. Empire of Sand will sweep you away!”
—Sarah Beth Durst
“A lovely dark dream full of wrenching choices and bittersweet triumph. This gorgeous, magic-woven story and its determined heroine spin hope from hopelessness, power from powerlessness, and love from desolation.”