I close my eyes, dropping my face into my hands, my elbows resting on the desk. Right now, I feel like the world is weighing me down. Whenever I see a way out of the mess I’m in, I’m pulled back in. Always. But this is bigger than me, and right now everything depends on me keeping this job. If I lose it, I dread to think what will happen. I have no one to help pick me up. Like always, I can only rely on myself. Even my best friend, Rebecca, can’t help me with this.
I really enjoy working here too. I was wary at first—rumours weren’t kind to the Hayes family. Yes, they are wild and outspoken, and yes, they do fight and argue a lot, but it’s never done in hatred or in true anger. They are just comfortable enough amongst one another to express themselves.
What I love most is their deep sense of family and loyalty. They dote on their sister, and Jaxon’s wife. And I’ve even seen them with their mother. They not only love her but respect her. They fall in line and listen whenever she’s about.
I’ve never had that.
I never got the chance.
It was always just me and my mum, and I was okay with that. But seeing the way they are with each other makes me feel like I missed out on so much.
My phone begins to ring again, and I groan into my hands. He’s persistent, I’ll give him that.
“Are you not going to answer that?” Paisley asks, and I lift my head, a high-pitched squeal escaping my lips.
I didn’t hear her come in, or Landon, who is leaning against the doorframe, looking broody as always.
She reaches for my phone and turns it over on the table. The blood drains from my face and I lean over the desk, snatching it from her grasp.
“That’s okay. They’ll call back,” I rush out, clicking it to silent before throwing it in my drawer. Embarrassment floods my cheeks and I look away from Paisley’s curious and hurt gaze.
When I brave a glance in her direction, I see she’s sharing a look with Landon, who squeezes her hand before relaxing it again. Shame fills me when I realise I was too rough with her.
“Um, okay,” she murmurs, trying to force a smile.
“I’m sorry. I don’t like taking personal calls during work hours.”
She waves me off. “My brothers won’t care. They’re just happy they don’t have to do much desk duty.”
I force out a smile. “I’ll run it by them first. It’s no one important anyway.”
“Are you ready?”
“Ready?” I ask, scrunching my nose up.
Laughing, she steps towards me, grabbing my coat off the back of my chair. “For lunch, silly. Hayden, Charlotte and Hope are on the way.”
I force another smile, nodding. I completely forgot about the lunch I promised her this morning. I desperately want to get to know her—she seems nice, and not like the girls I grew up with. I have one friend, Rebecca, in my life, and she’s forever telling me I need to let people in.
Paisley is easily someone I could become friends with. She’s funny and kind. But as always, life knows when to throw shit at me. I can’t get close to the girl, even if she does make it difficult to keep her at a distance. I have to find a balance because there is no way I can risk her or her brothers getting close. It isn’t on the cards. They’d hate the real me.
The thought brings a wave of sadness through me. I want them to like the real me, not who everyone believes I am.
My thoughts drift to Wyatt, and my chest tightens. Would he think the worst, or would he keep bringing me sweets each morning and fill up the glass bowl I bought at a charity shop in town?
I won’t admit this to him, but I secretly love that he brings me cups of coffee or tea without asking if I want one first. It’s like he just knows. Or when he thinks I’m not paying attention, and I feel his gaze on me. Every time it feels like he’s unknowingly chipping away at the walls I’ve built around my heart.
Wyatt is incredibly thoughtful, and kind, but it doesn’t make up for the fact that he sleeps around a lot. His brothers aren’t shy around me, and they talk freely about Wyatt’s encounters, and their own. My stomach sinks each time Wyatt’s name is brought up.
I smile once again at Paisley, pushing thoughts of Wyatt aside. “I’m ready.”
“Hey, what was Lily here for?” Landon asks, glancing up from his phone.
He looks angry, but he could be worried. It’s hard to tell with him since he doesn’t smile much. I’ve come to learn that he only smiles for Paisley or when he’s taunting one of the Hayes brothers.
“She said she needed to find Jaxon. She couldn’t get a hold of him, so I gave her the address of where he’s working today.”
“Did you do or say something to her? She looked freaked and didn’t stop to talk to me when I waved the car down outside the bed and breakfast.”
“Landon,” Paisley scolds, forcing a smile when she turns to me. “Sorry about his rudeness.”
“It’s okay,” I tell her, before addressing Landon. “And no. I gave her the address she asked for. She looked pale, so I asked if everything was okay. She assured me it was. That’s everything that happened.”
He ducks his head down at Paisley. “I’m gonna try to call her again. If she doesn’t answer I’ll see if Maddox has spoken to her,” he tells her, rubbing the back of his neck. “In fact, I’ll go see Maddox now. She’ll speak to him if something is wrong. Not me. I’ll meet you back at the bed and breakfast.”
She leans up, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Okay. I hope she’s okay.”
He walks out as I lift my bag over my shoulder. “Did I do something wrong? He seems really worried about her.”
“No, you didn’t. They’re really protective of Lily. Her story is complicated and not mine to share. Maddox is like her best friend, even though they’re cousins, so if anyone knows what’s wrong with her, he will.”
“Okay, good. I hope she’s okay. I did hear Jaxon say she was feeling unwell when he came in this morning.”
“That could be it,” she tells me, waiting for me to lock up the office.
We head up the road that leads to the bed and breakfast. The scenery is beautiful, and the land is huge, going on for miles.
I would love to wake up each morning to this view. There is no noise here, only a few cars here and there in the distance. It’s peaceful, even when their mum has someone working on the farm.
Although the warehouse and the main home are close, they aren’t as close to the bed and breakfast, which unfortunately means we have to walk ten minutes before reaching it.
A group of three girls are waiting outside in a huddle, all beautiful in their own way. One has pale skin, bright, fiery red hair, and the most gorgeous eyelashes I have ever seen on a person. The other is dressed how I wish I could dress. She has on dark-threaded, ripped jeans with a crop top that has a middle finger emoji printed in large on the front. The last woman is wearing a nurse’s uniform, a company logo printed on the breast pocket.
“Come on, you said there would be food and I’m fucking starving,” the girl who is dressed like a rock ‘n’ roll chick whines.
“Hey guys,” Paisley greets, ignoring the girl. “Evie, this here is Charlotte, Landon’s cousin.” She points to the woman with red hair. I smile, giving her a small wave. “This is Landon’s sister and a pain in my arse, Hayden.” Hayden blows Paisley a kiss before grinning at me. “This is Hope, their other cousin.” She gestures to the nurse, and I wave again, feeling so lame I want to duck and hide somewhere.