As soon as my words hit the air, I realize I’ve made a tactical error. The phony remorse melts like a plastic mask in a furnace. And from the fire, his true face appears, all bolts and steel.
“Oh, now I remember.” He folds his arms across the width of his chest. “Something about you leaving with my daughter if I ever hit you, and good luck trying to find you. Do I have it right, Iris?”
“I am leaving.” I slide away from the mirror, my back straight and my stride confident, even though the very blood in my veins is shaking. He’s twice my size. The force of his hand against my lips—that strike still hurts.
I ignore the pain and focus on getting Sarai and me out of this house unscathed. I grab an overnight bag and toss a few items of clothing in, not looking at him as I shove a pair of Chucks in, too.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Laughter threads through his words.
I don’t bother answering, but walk swiftly into the bedroom, scooping my purse as I go. I make my way silently into the nursery down the hall, and in the faint light of the half-lit sconces on her wall, grab the essentials and a few outfits for Sarai. I pick her up carefully, praying she doesn’t wake.
When I step into the hall, Caleb is there, leaning against the stair banister.
“You actually think I’ll let you leave me.” He chuckles, shaking his head.
“We can discuss custody,” I reply emotionlessly. “But this is over. We’re over, Caleb.”
The cruel amusement fades until all that’s left is cruel.
“Try to leave me.” His words are wrapped in nails and heavy with warning. The darker centers of his eyes, the irises, are shards of glass. “I want to see you try.”
I don’t pause to contemplate what that means, but rush down the steps. I freeze in the foyer, surprised to see Ramone still here and hovering as if waiting for direction. He looks up the stairwell at Caleb watching from the landing. I glance up to see Caleb shake his head once. Ramone steps back. I race to the garage, my heart pounding as if I’m in a fox hunt with hounds nipping at my heels, but no one follows me.
I snap Sarai into her car seat, amazed that she hasn’t even stirred, and stow our bags in the back of my car, shooting furtive glances at the garage door the whole time. No movement.
I start the car and pull out, rounding the circular driveway and gunning it as soon as I hit the road. I check my rearview mirror every few seconds, certain Caleb must be following, but there are no lights trailing me. The frigid certainty in his voice haunts me. Like he was so sure I wouldn’t get away. My sore lips pull painfully into a crooked, relieved smile. I shake a metric ton from my shoulders and tip my head back into the buttery leather of the headrest. Things haven’t been right between us for a long time, but I had no idea how wrong they would go.
He hit me.
I’m still reeling inside and aching where he hit my mouth with the full force of his body behind his hand. I didn’t think this through beyond getting out of the house, but it’s so late. I’ll find a room for the night and get a fresh start tomorrow.
I pull into the parking lot of a Holiday Inn off the interstate. It’s not the expensive hotels Caleb always reserves for us, but I never cared before and I certainly don’t care tonight. My freedom is the only luxury on my mind.
I park, wrangling my bag and Sarai’s while bundling her in the blanket against my chest. I juggle everything in my arms, struggling to get the door open without waking her.
“I need a room for the night, please,” I whisper to the front desk attendant. I would love for Sarai to sleep through this entire ordeal.
“Of course.” The young man’s eyes narrow, and a smile breaks through his professional demeanor. “I know you.”
“Excuse me?” I ask cautiously, patting Sarai’s little bottom.
“Well, not know you.” He offers an almost shy smile when he takes my credit card. “I saw you and your baby on TV tonight.”
The jumbotron.
I can’t think about being on the big screen without remembering the moments after when, in an arena of twenty thousand people, it felt like August and I were alone in an electric bubble. Each moment I’ve ever spent in his company had played through my mind, and I’d cherished every one. The kind, funny, thoughtful man should have seemed at odds with the feral competitor on the floor, but he wasn’t. All the disparate parts fit snugly and rightly to form this man I desperately want to know better.
And maybe now I will.
It’s an ill-timed thought, but I’d be lying if I didn’t at least admit to myself that with things over between Caleb and me, there will be something with August. Even if I don’t pursue it, he will. The knowledge sends a tiny thrill through me.
“Um, ma’am, your card has been declined.” The awkward phrase snatches me from my thoughts.
“Oh. I’m sorry.” I glance from the black card extended between his two fingers to the frown on his face. “Are you sure? There’s no limit on it.”
“Right. It’s a Black card, but . . .” He hesitates, his eyes speculative. “This card has been reported stolen.”
“Stolen?” The word emerges loud and harsh in the quiet lobby, garnering the attention of two people at the other end of the desk also checking in.
“That’s impossible,” I say in a softer voice.
“We can’t use this card.” His voice stiffens. “Did you have another we can try?”
“Uh, yes.” I reach into my wallet and hand him my debit card. “Here you go. I know that one is fine. I’ll have to call about the other one to figure it out.”
My words trail off when his brows bunch into a frown, and he glances at me suspiciously. “This one doesn’t work either.”
“That can’t be right because I . . .”
Both of those cards, though in my possession and I’ve used them a hundred times, are technically in Caleb’s name. Caleb’s accounts. He may not be on my tail with high-beam lights, but he’s chasing me nonetheless.
I extend my hand, requesting the card back. He reluctantly gives it to me like I might be running some elaborate fraud operation.
“It’s a misunderstanding,” I assure him. “You take cash?”
He nods, but still looks doubtful. I flip through the compartments of my wallet, searching for cash.
Dammit. Nachos and parking at the game took most of my cash. I only spy a solitary ten-dollar bill.
I don’t have enough money for a room, and I don’t have enough gas to make it all the way to Mama’s house in Atlanta or to Lotus’s place in New York. If we were speaking, which we aren’t. I don’t even know her new address there.
I can’t just stand here while the attendant decides if he should call the cops or kick me out. I avoid his eyes, shift Sarai in my arms and walk back out to the car. My purse, overnight bag, and Sarai’s diaper bag weigh me down, but not nearly as much as the reality of my situation. Caleb shut down my cards. Knowing I’m out with his daughter in the middle of the night, he shut down my cards. Maybe I should have waited until the morning, but getting away from him was urgent. Something in his eyes told me to escape while I could.
I’m driving somewhat aimlessly, unsure where to go and what I can afford to do, when flashing blue lights and the “blip” of a police siren grab my attention. For a moment, I wonder who they’re pursuing, but I’m the only one on the road.