Hard? Disappointing? Embarrassing?
Who knows which word he’d use? He’s never shown me any of those things when he asked before and I wasn’t ready, but maybe he hid them. Maybe he felt them.
I slide off my stool and step into the V of his powerful thighs, setting my arms against his chest and linking my hands behind his neck.
“August, I love you,” I say, twining my fingers in his hair.
“I know that.” He closes his eyes, surrendering to my hands. “I love you, too. More than anything. More than everything.”
He said he’d play me at the five, at the very center, and he’s lived up to that promise every day that we’ve been together.
“I trust you with my life, with my future.” Emotion scalds my throat, so I pause to steady my voice. “With my daughter.”
He slowly opens his eyes to watch me. “I know that, too.”
“And I want to wake up with you every morning.”
“Youuuuuuu . . . do?” He settles his hands at my hips, splayed across my bottom, and narrows his eyes on my face, assessing.
“Yeah, but . . .” I search for the right thing to say—to let him know I’m ready. “I want the pancakes. Okay? I want the pancakes, August.”
“Babe, I’ll make you pancakes. Any time you want.”
“You’re not hearing me. What I’m saying is . . .the kids! You know, bursting into our room every morning? Your kids, August. I want to have your children. Our children.”
He frowns and blinks at me like I might have been body-snatched and replaced by some amenable stranger.
“That makes me . . . happy.” He looks more uncertain than happy, though cautiously ecstatic might be accurate, too. “But what do you mean? Are you saying . . .”
He watches my face with the same focus his father probably watched that game clock counting down. I’ve had reservations and fears based on the past, based on my mistakes, and on bad calls I made. But August is no mistake. He’s not a bad call, and all that he wants, I’m ready to offer. All that he has, I’m ready to receive. One step forward will take me into the future, and I’m ready.
“What I’m saying is this, August.” I tip up on my toes and smile against his ear. “Take the shot.”
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Thank you for taking this journey with Iris and August. It is at times a difficult one, but also hopeful. Most of all, it’s uniquely theirs. I know the temptation is to tell ourselves this is fiction, and it doesn’t happen this way in real life. Maybe I believed that, too, until I interviewed woman after woman whose stories sounded so much like this one. As a matter of fact, their stories, in many ways are this one. I didn’t write this book until I’d interviewed survivors, and their experiences, their triumphs, their spirit have insinuated themselves into Iris’s journey. If at times this felt real it’s because so many of the things Iris experienced, I heard from women who survived the same challenges.
My deepest appreciation to the survivors, the social workers and the women’s shelter staff who answered my questions and helped me understand.
If you need help, call the
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LONG SHOT (A HOOPS Novel)
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