I hand her the roses and the card and give her a hug regardless of how stiff her body goes when I touch her. “Congrats, princess,” I whisper in her ear, before releasing her and walking away. As much as I want to hang around, leaving was the best thing I could do because her parents would force me to stay once they saw me. The last thing I’d ever want is to ruin her special day.
By the time I get back to my car, and I’m out of the parking lot, I feel like a million pounds sits directly on my chest. If I had the ability to go back in time and tell her every detail from the night of the accident, I would, but we all know that only happens in the movies. Where’s a damn time-turner when you need one?
I drive to the campus coffee shop and order one of those organic soy shit coffees and sit at a secluded table away from the dude reading poetry about broken hearts. Regardless of how lost I feel at the moment, I still find myself rolling my eyes. Each time the bell above the door rings out, I look up, hoping it’s Viola. After an hour passes, I drive back to the house, go to my room, and shut the door.
Gryff is so happy to see me, and I feel bad for pushing him away. I lie on my bed, turn on the TV, and he tucks himself beside me.
“It’s just you and me, buddy,” I say as I pet his little head. “But she’ll be back.”
I’m a big ball of emotions. Between all the changes in my life, graduation, moving, and the breakup, I’m a mess. In the past ten days, I’ve felt every emotion that exists as if I’m checking them off a master list. At first, I was hurt, distraught, and upset, which transformed into me being livid about the entire situation. Then I wanted to pull a Courtney and go all crazy ex-girlfriend on his ass. His new Challenger almost got a dozen eggs cracked across its shiny black paint, but instead, I kept my distance. It was the best thing for me to do. I avoided Drew’s house like the plague and even did laundry at Courtney’s this week. But I miss my routine and poor little Gryff.
Drew hasn’t been able to look me in the eye, and I’m just as pissed at him as he is at me. I want to strangle him. And I’ve already warned him that if he even mentions Mia’s name around me, he better call for backup because his police buddies are the only ones that’ll be able to save him. She’s a liar and a cheater, and she’s full of misery. I will no longer sit by and take it. He barely acknowledges my existence, and I won’t accept Mia and him, so we’re at an impasse.
After graduation, our parents take us to dinner, and it’s awkward as hell. Afterward, I drive Drew back to his truck, and we exchange a few sentences with one another, but that’s it. I hate that he’s pissed at Travis and me, but what I hate even more is his stubbornness about the whole situation. As I pull up to his truck, he turns and looks at me, but I speak first.
“Are you going to keep acting like a big ole baby until I leave?” I ask him directly.
He rolls his eyes at me. “My best friend, Viola. Why?” The hurt in his tone doesn’t go unnoticed, and guilt washes over me again. It’s a dirty sensation.
“Please don’t be mad at me. It’s killing me to know you’re throwing away your relationship with me and your best friend.”
“I don’t hate you, Vi. I’m just agitated. I realize you’re leaving. You’re growing up, and I won’t be around to protect you. All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for Travis, too. But you both felt the need to lie to me. Two people I trusted with my life both snuck around behind my back together and betrayed me. I should’ve realized it when you got that fucking puppy.” He shakes his head with an aggravated sigh.
Low blow. Gryff was a thank-you gift, but I won’t correct him right now. It’s the first time he’s admitted any of that, and I hate that it’s come to this—that he’s hurting because of our actions. It’s everything I wanted to avoid in the first place, but I know my actions have consequences.
“I’m not a little girl anymore, Drew,” I say when he finally looks up at me. “Just so you know, Travis wanted to tell you right away, but I asked him not to because I wanted the timing to be right.” I let out a sarcastic laugh as if the timing would ever be right.
He shrugs, unaffected. “He broke the bro code on so many levels, Vi. You don’t mess around with your friend’s sister behind their back—no exceptions,” he states firmly.
“I know. But you won’t have to worry about it again because I’m leaving anyway. Everything I love will be in Cali, and I’ll be thousands of miles away. I’m sorry. With graduation and the internship, I was busy focusing on that.” My eyes begin to water, and I’m allowing my emotions to slip again. I wipe a tear that streams down my face and try to compose myself.
“It was a lot for me to deal with. So, please, if you’re going to be pissed at someone for not knowing, direct your anger toward me. As much as I want to blame him, it’s not Travis’s fault. I never wanted or intended to hurt you, Drew. You’re my big brother. My hero. One of my best friends, and as much as you piss me off, I love you. I’m really sorry it happened this way, but I can’t be sorry it happened, even if it was a big mistake.”
Drew sits there for a second, looking straight out the window as if he’s absorbing all of my words. He lets out a sigh and then a small chuckle. “You’re still a nerdy little brat; you know that?”
“And you’re going to miss me when I’m gone. Are we okay?”
“I forgive you this once, but only because we’re family, and Mom says I have to like you.” Drew jokes just like he used to when we were younger. I let out a sigh, knowing we’re going to be okay. His phone vibrates in his pocket, and as he pulls it out, I glance down and see Mia’s calling.
“I’ll see you later, sis.” He gets out and answers it immediately.
Even after all the trouble she’s started, Mia still has this hold over him. I wish he could see through the bullshit, but perspective is everything, and I can’t be a hypocrite.
Before I put the car in drive, I catch the sweet smell of the roses Travis gave me. Though he shouldn’t have, I’m glad he was there to acknowledge the accomplishment. It meant a lot, but I don’t have the words to tell him that yet. My heart still hurts, and I’m still learning to push all of the memories we spent together to the side. They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but a part of me prays that distance will help me forget.
I reach in the back seat for the red envelope. The front has a couple kissing in color while the rest of the image is in black and white. Inside, the card is blank, but in all uppercase letters, he wrote: CONGRATULATIONS, PRINCESS! I’M SO PROUD OF YOU! GRYFF & I LOVE YOU!
Below that is a note in his signature scribble handwriting. I still plan on driving you to the airport so I can see you one last time before you leave. I miss you. I miss us.
For a moment, I close my eyes and can smell the hint of his cologne on the card.
I peel my eyes open and study it for a moment longer before shoving it back into the envelope and setting it in my middle console.
Thinking about his written message, I feel torn. We’d planned on him taking me so that we could spend those last moments together, but now I’m second-guessing that plan. I’m afraid I won’t want to leave if I see him again. Maybe a clean break is what we both need.