“But… you don’t?” she asks.
Now that she’s redirected her attention from Logan’s dating to my lackluster life goals, I’m not as eager to see where this goes.
I stand, needing some space, and slide her off my lap.
Logan answers in my silence. “He used to. That’s how he’s licensed to train cutters now, and Dad thought Ethan would compete after college. That was the plan, at least.”
“Plans go to shit. Dad died. Allison got pregnant. We couldn’t afford to send you to college.” I don’t mean to bark at him, but I’m tired of revisiting these old wounds.
“Don’t take that on too,” he argues. “I didn’t want to go to college. Not my scene. And to answer your question, Tori, if we want to stay competitive in this business, we should be entering the Futurity.”
A bitter laugh bursts out of me. “Yeah? With what time? I’m already busting my ass from dusk till dawn. Sure, we might win some money, but who’s gonna pay for all that travel? For the number of cattle we need to increase the training? For the new trailer we’d need to haul our asses all the way to Fort Worth? For the entry fees? They’re a goddamn fortune.”
“Why do you need more cattle?” Tori asks, propping herself on my desk like she owns the place, which, despite my irritation, I kinda like.
I rub my face, wishing she hadn’t brought up this topic, which only reminds me of all the ways I’m letting down my father.
Fortunately, Logan answers again. “We use cattle from a neighboring ranch to train our horses, but to compete on a bigger scale, we’d need a larger lot of animals because, after a while, those cows get used to the horses and stop responding the way they will in the arena. They get sour and don’t wanna play.”
She laughs and picks up the flyer again. “It’s funny to think of cows playing.”
“I don’t know if they enjoy it,” I add with a chuckle. “They just wanna get away from the big bossy horse in front of them, but the horses are definitely playing. The good ones, the ones who have cutting in their blood, they’re playing from the minute they enter the pen. You can feel it in the saddle and the way they move. They love it.”
“But the cows don’t get hurt, right?” The look of concern on Tori makes me want to kiss her.
“No, honey. They don’t get hurt. Cutting ain’t like the shit you see at some rodeos. No one is tying down any animals. There’s no steer wrestling or calf roping or chute dogging. In fact, some of the horses we train are used to help injured cattle. Say you have an animal that gets hurt in the middle of a herd. How do you get her away from the others? A ranch hand can’t wander in there, but a cutting horse can get the animal maneuvered away from the others quickly so she can see the vet. Competitions are just extensions of those same skills.”
Logan nods. “All packed into the best two and a half minutes of your life.”
“Then you’re not doing something right on your Saturday nights.” I can’t help but bust his balls. “You of all people know there’s at least one thing better than competing.” I eye Tori appreciatively in her cutoffs and tank top, and her eyes ignite under my perusal. “And I sure as hell hope that takes longer than two and a half minutes.”
He slaps me on the back with a hearty laugh. “I forgot what you were like when you had a sense of humor.”
“Fuck off. I’m plenty humorous.”
“Thanks to Tori.”
Looking down at my work boots, I smile at his assessment, because he’s right about that.
Tori
Cold, soapy water runs down my arms in rivulets, the contrast to the sweat streaking along the back of my tank top making me shiver in the oppressive heat. What an odd sensation.
The barn is stifling hot even though the sun is starting to set. I don’t know how Ethan does this day in and day out. I’d die from heat stroke.
Since it’s Sunday, none of his ranch hands are here, so the barn is still and serene except for the occasional stomp or whinny from the animals residing in the stalls. Dust motes float lazily in the air, which is thick with the scent of hay and sawdust.
Leaning up on my toes, I strain to reach the top of Stargazer, a handsome dappled grey horse Ethan needed to groom this weekend.
“You really didn’t need to help me out here,” Ethan says from the other side of the animal. “You did enough this afternoon in the office.”
When he explained he had to groom a few horses this evening so he could stay on schedule, the exhaustion in his eyes did me in. I couldn’t let him do this by himself, especially since Logan didn’t look like he was going to budge from the couch in the living room where the kids were watching a movie.
“I don’t mind.” Honestly, I don’t. “Kind of wanted to keep you company.”
I lean up again and catch him smiling. “I love the company. Maybe tomorrow you can sleep in and I’ll take the kids out for breakfast. We’ll bring you some pancakes.”
Ethan Carter is such a sweetheart. I catch myself sighing.
It’s funny how the moment I walked in his house this afternoon and he whisked me into the office for a quick makeout sesh, all of those reservations that crept into my mind about him and Allison this morning melted away. Whatever happened between them is the past, and we’re here. Together. Now.
“That sounds wonderful, but when do you get to sleep in?” Even as the words slip out, I already know the answer.
“Never.”
I want to laugh, to make a joke out of it, but I know he’s telling the truth, and it hurts me to see how he’s running himself ragged.
We finish up with Stargazer and then start on Tiny Dancer.
“There’s nothing tiny about you, huh?” I scratch the huge butter-colored horse behind her ear, and she turns her head into me.
I love these animals and their gentle strength. Her soulful eyes almost do me in.
Ethan is quiet the whole time we work, and my heart is heavy with thoughts of what will happen to his amazing ranch if the judge doesn’t side with him and his brother.
If I’m this concerned about it, Ethan must be sick with worry.
Peeking over at him, I take in his tight shoulders and serious expression. The tension in his jaw. The furrow of his brow.
He’s in his own world. Quiet and troubled.
I wish… I wish there was something I could do to ease his burdens. To help him make sense of his life. To help him make the most of his business, so he can repay Allison without gutting the ranch. He and Logan have discussed the possibility of selling off some of their land, selling Logan’s house, or auctioning two of their stallions, but each of those prospects will affect their ability to maintain the income they so badly need.
We’re almost done with the last horse when he strips off his wet t-shirt.
He doesn’t notice me staring, or that I shiver for a reason totally unconnected to the cold water that splashes me as I scrub down Tiny Dancer.
He’s in his head, washing the horse. Focused on his task.
With two big strides, he heads to the giant sink in the corner and begins to clean up. Rinsing out the sponges. Scrubbing his hands. Washing his face. Water and soap go everywhere. Down his abs and low-slung jeans that fit him snug around the thighs and ass, making my girlie parts tingle.