I let the thought fade off in the wind.
Edward didn’t let it go, however. “Especially when the boy from the other story wasn’t showing any interest.”
“Yeah. So what was the point in holding out this false hope? It was better just to kill the dream before it got out of hand.” I cringed, visibly. “That sounds way more dramatic than it was. Teenage girls have crushes. Unrequited love isn’t unique; it’s a fact of life.”
“It doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt to live it.”
I sighed. “I suppose.”
Abruptly, Edward got up and sat down on my lounge chair, straddling it as he faced me. I pulled my knees up to my chest to make room for him, but he pulled my legs out one at a time to rest on his thighs.
“I’m going to need a day or two to respond,” he said, taking my cigar and putting it out on the sand next to where he’d disposed of his. “But I’m very happy with you.”
“You are? I didn’t do anything special.”
“Exactly.” He ran his hands up my bare legs, letting his fingers drift under the edges of my dress. “You didn’t put on a performance. You were honest. You were vulnerable.”
There was pride in his voice, and I felt my chest and cheeks get warm with the praise. Or maybe it was the way he was touching me. That was heating me up awfully quickly too.
“What would you like?”
“A present?” I tried to lessen my smile, make it more seductive and less sloppy grin. “Can I fuck you?”
“Try again.” His hands were now massaging my thighs, speaking a very different language than his mouth.
“Will you fuck me?”
He shook his head, but he smiled at my attempt.
“Can I blow you?” Another head shake. “Watch you jerk off?”
“My cock is staying where it is.”
A glance down at his crotch said that was going to be awfully uncomfortable for him.
“So what you’re saying is this gift can’t be sexual?”
“It can be if you choose to have your pussy eaten.” He pushed my skirt up, letting me know it was already decided. This would be the present I got, whether I chose it or not.
I was okay with that.
“Ohhhh,” I laughed, my panties now flooded. “That was a punishment last time. Now it’s a present?”
“I think you’ve learned to feel differently about it.” His lips came down against the panel of cotton covering my damp heat, and I let out a hiss.
“Yes, yes,” I said, arching into him. “I feel very differently about it.”
I stretched my hands up over my head and abandoned myself to his mouth and his fingers and his tongue, and it wasn’t until three orgasms had passed, when I was boneless and seeing stars that I realized, despite knowing how he’d answer, it hadn’t even occurred to me to ask for the gift of going home.
Sixteen
“Have you ever tried role play?” Edward asked as he led me into the cabana two nights later.
The days between had been lighter than any I’d had since arriving on the island. While he continued to be stoic and aloof, he did it in close proximity. He’d invited me into his library while he worked. He’d dismissed Eliana and played chess with me himself. He accompanied me on my morning run. Heated glances had turned into subtle caresses, brushes of skin, a few stolen kisses that I’d given willingly. His moves still felt calculated, but there was an organic rhythm to the way we danced around each other, a natural ebb and flow that drew us to each other for heightened moments before we’d part and drift away.
Always, the drifting felt initiated by him. There was something he was hiding—a lot that he was hiding—and whatever secrets they were, they held him back. More than once, he seemed to start to say one thing then said something else instead. It often felt like a question was ready at the tip of his tongue, waiting for the right moment to be asked.
Was this the question he’d been hesitant to ask?
It didn’t seem powerful enough to give him pause, yet, at the same time, the question felt significant.
“I can’t say that I have,” I answered. But if role play was what he was after, I was down for it. I could be his naughty secretary, his sassy nurse, his frisky maid, his slutty nun.
Damn, role play sounded like a lot of fun, actually.
“Never? Never put on another persona just to see what it felt like? Just to see if you could pull it off?” He walked behind me, his fingers sweeping across my bare shoulders.
I shivered, but not just from his touch. Everytime he said something that sounded like it could be a veiled reference to The Game, I got cold. I was paranoid, I knew that, but Edward was the kind of man who made it easy to be suspicious.
I considered how to answer. I’d devoted myself to being honest with him and that meant not tiptoeing around truths just because I didn’t want to deal with the fallout. The Game, though. Talking about that wouldn’t be exposing how others had hurt me, but rather how I’d hurt others, and I wasn’t ready to let him see that side of me, not when he seemed to be starting to like the me that he had seen.
I decided to circumvent. “Is that a loaded question? You know I tried to play you. So you already have an answer.”
He circled around in front of me, his fingers wandering over my collarbone before skirting the top of my bodice. “This was an excellent choice, by the way. Quite appropriate. You’re stunning in it, too.”
I glanced down at what I was wearing. It was an Oscar de la Renta strapless gown with metallic leafing and lots of tulle. It was pretty and poofy and made me feel younger than I was, like I was dressed up for the prom. The dress had been one that Edward had sent earlier in the year, one of the items I’d scoffed at because where in the hell was I going to wear something as formal as that on this stupid island?
But tonight, when his instruction for clothing had merely been, “Dress like you want to be seen,” I’d decided why not?
When I’d stepped out of my room and found him waiting for me in an extremely well-tailored three-piece suit, I knew I’d chosen right.
I put a palm on his chest and tugged at his tie with my other hand. “You don’t look so bad yourself, Mr. Fasbender.” Maybe precocious schoolgirl was what he’d like. I could do that. Look at him coyly underneath my lashes and ask for help with my grades.
He continued his circle around me, the tie falling from my grip as he rounded my side. His lips kissed along my shoulder and up the side of my neck. “Here’s what we’re going to play—young sweethearts. We’ve been together for quite some time, but you’ve never let me have my way with you, and believe me, I’ve tried. Tonight, though, you’re finally ready.”
“To have sex with you?” My words came out breathy.
“To give me your virginity.”
My stomach dropped. At the same time, goosebumps scattered down my arms. How was it possible to feel both excitement and dread at the same time? I didn’t know, but that’s exactly what I felt.
“This is because of what I told you the other night,” I said stiffly. “Are you mocking me?”
He chuckled, which only increased my skepticism. He found pleasure in my discomfort. He’d never tried to keep that a secret, and so what else would I expect from him now but to twist and turn the private admissions I’d shared with him, using my words against me as I feared from the very beginning.