It’s fast, almost too fast to say I did it, except sparks snap between us as our lips brush against each other, and the warmth in my belly ignites into a raging fire. His arms move towards an embrace, but he stops when I break the kiss. I watch the tiny movements of his eyes, savoring the taste of his lips.
Neither of us blinks or breathes. The moment stretches.
CRASH! The moment breaks as both of us jerk towards the noise.
“I’ve got it,” Amara says, gathering up the dishes she spilled.
“Sorry,” I mumble, touching my lips and not looking back at him. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
His brow furrows. It looks like he’s vibrating with desire. An urge to kiss him again, more fully, pushes into my thoughts, but I stop myself, this time.
“Please, let me get you epis,” he says after a long moment. “You need it.”
I close my eyes and try to find my footing. I can’t believe I did this. I’m so stupid. Now he’s talking, and I’m spinning in my head while my body is aching. My head hurts so bad I want to cry, and my stomach flips between burgeoning desire and nauseated mess.
“I’m sure there’s not enough,” I whisper, looking around the dining hall.
The few people that are eating on this shift stare listlessly at their underfilled plates. We don’t have enough food. How could there be enough epis? It’s hard to store, and there was always a shortage of it before the siege.
Khabri reaches towards me then stops before he touches my shoulder, pulling his hand back to his side. I watch his face and there’s no harmful intent, even if he is being insistent. He purses his lips, which taste like peaches, then shakes his head.
“Anna.” The way he says my name, there’s a weight to it as if he somehow gives it gravity. “I will take care of you. Always. Please let me.”
Ah, damn it. My heart is racing, and my knees are weak. How can he keep saying things that make me feel like this? I’m a fool. I know it. An obstinate, stupid fool. What other man would ever offer what he wants to give freely?
Not a one. I know it. So what’s the stop?
“I… can’t,” I say. It comes out as a whisper, not because I mean it to, but I can’t muster the strength to speak louder. He leans closer, distracting.
“Why not?” he asks.
“They need it more,” I say.
The honesty of my words tears at my soul as I speak. I’m naked before him. I let my shields down as I put my trust into another person for the first time I can remember. No guarding, no holding back, nothing hidden.
I plead with my eyes, begging for him to understand.
13
Khabri
“They need it more,” she whispers.
My hearts shatter and my breath catches in my throat.
“I will get it,” I say, forcing words past the lump in my throat.
She shakes her head, her eyes glistening as moisture forms in their corners. She blinks rapidly then inhales deeply.
“I’m fine,” she insists.
My arms ache with emptiness. Nothing would make me happier than to hold her. Shield her from this world. I’m pulled into her, unable to escape the vortex of my feelings.
“Anna,” I say. “Your heart is admirable. This is not our end. I know it. Please, trust in me if you can’t trust fate. Trust me.”
Her lips tremble. A single drop of moisture trails down her cheek. She swipes her arm across her face, then nods. I hold out my hand, and when she takes it my hearts race. I lead the way to the stock supplies of the city. The male known as Bert is waiting with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face.
“We don’t have any,” he snaps as soon as we enter the room.
“I have not asked for anything yet,” I say.
“Don’t matter, we don’t have it,” he says.
Red tinges my vision at his surliness. I straighten to my full height, towering over the much smaller male and partially open my wings.
“She needs epis,” I say, lowering my voice.
Bert pales but doesn’t back down. He tightens his jaw and narrows his eyes.
“We especially don’t have enough of that,” he says.
The bijass swells leaving me awash in anger bordering on blind rage. I growl and struggle to control the primal instinct.
“Bert,” Anna says. “I’m sorry. I know there’s not enough, I’ll…”
She trails off, grabbing her head and whimpering with obvious pain.
“Ah damn it,” Bert swears, pushing past me and taking her by her arms.
He guides her to a chair, then rushes to a counter and gets a container of water. He holds it up to her lips and helps her to sip it.
It jerks me to my senses. This is not an adversary, no matter he is blocking me. It has been most of a lifetime since I’ve felt the pull of the bijass so strongly. It must be the conflict of my desire to protect her strengthening primal urges. I’ll have to be more careful to stay in control.
“You all right?” Bert asks her.
“Sorry, yes,” she says, sipping more water.
“She is suffering dehydration,” I say. “Please, I need epis for her.”
Bert looks over his shoulder to me, a deep frown on his face. He shakes his head, sighs heavily, then stands up. He still has one hand on her shoulder, making slow circles.
I am jealous, but it is easily controlled. There is no sexual intent in his touch, so it does not spark the bijass. My jealousy is only in her letting him touch her when all I want is to touch her. I want to feel her skin. In my imagination it is soft and delicate, as her lips were when she kissed me. I have never touched a human’s skin. Their distinct lack of scales is exotic, and I dream of getting to know every inch of her.
Bert walks past me to a door at the back of the room.
“In here,” he says.
I follow him through the door. He walks down the rows of shelves, most of which are distressingly barren. At the end of the row he turns left and goes down to a wall. There he opens a cabinet and pulls out a folded piece of tanned leather. He carefully unfolds the package to reveal strands of epis.
He breaks off a piece then conscientiously folds the leather back up the way it was. He places the package in its place, shuts the door, and turns around with the strand held out in his open palm. I take it from him but don’t turn to leave. I stare at the cabinet where he retrieved the epis.
“What?” he asks.
“Is that all the supplies you have?” I ask.
Bert looks over his shoulder at the cabinet before answering.
“Yes,” he exhales heavily. The admission deflates him. His shoulders slump, and his chin drop to his chest. “God help us, yes.”
I turn to leave but stop again and study the storage space. This is all the supplies the City has left. It isn’t enough for more than a week at most and the epis supply looks like it won’t make it that long. I walk along the shelves, taking a mental inventory. I understand his surliness now.
In a few days, the true weight of the Invaders’ siege will be felt. If we don’t do something soon, there won’t be any fight left for us. We must find a way to get supplies into the city.
I lead the way back to Anna. She is still sitting in the chair, bent over and holding her head in her hands. I kneel before her and hold out my palm. She sits up. Her face is too pale, and beads of sweat have formed all across it. Her hand shakes as she reaches for the epis.