The others have moved their way closer as I speak, listening in on my conversation. How much am I safe to say? I cannot reveal the Order secrets and a lot of what I’m talking about could, intentionally or not.
“There were,” I say. “All males though.”
“Why? And what happened to them?”
“The sex of a Zmaj baby is determined by the temperature at the time of conception, or so I’ve been told. Perhaps it is determined at some point in the gestation period. I do not honestly know when, but I do know it is affected by the temperature. When the Devastation happened, the temperature of Tajss soared.”
“So only boys were born, the females died, and here we are,” Anna says.
“And here we are,” I agree.
“How did the females die?” she asks.
My stomach churns at the memory. The sickness that rotted them away was terrible, a second devastation in its own right.
“Radiation poisoning,” I say.
“How come the males could handle it?” she asks.
“Most didn’t. Those of us who survived, mostly, were immune from prior exposure or other unknown means,” I say.
I remember the Devastation and its terrifying aftermath. We have sacrificed so much for the sake of Tajss itself. These Invaders would make all that loss meaningless. I give honor to Ladon. He must not be forgotten.
“How can you possibly believe I’m your soul mate, or whatever?” Anna asks.
She’s struggling to keep moving, so I motion for a stop. I offer her my waterskin, and she gulps it down before offering it to Amara.
“I didn’t believe it either,” Amara says, after drinking her fill. “And no, I don’t understand it, but I know Shidan and I are meant for each other. We belong together. He makes me a better person.”
“But that’s love, nothing to do with fate or souls,” Anna says, shaking her head. “You get to know each other, you fall in love because you have lots in common.”
“Maybe,” Amara says.
“How do two people who have so much in common come to exist if it is not done intentionally? By fate, or some higher power?”
“How can you believe this? I was never supposed to be here! None of us were. We should still be on the ship and never even know you exist. Random chance happened, crashing us here.”
I almost speak too soon. It was not random chance. The Eye predicted the human’s generation ship crashing onto Tajss. That is not something I can share. Not even most of the Order know this.
“Perhaps,” I say. “Or it was the hand of fate, bringing you to me, where you are meant to be.”
In time, in private, I will confide in her. She is not ready for this knowledge, nor are those who travel with us. They are not Order, they do not know that we follow the visions of the Eye, who has predicted everything.
Anna shakes her head and Amara laughs, a sharp, barking sound.
“You’re impossible,” Anna says.
Sverre has a smile on his face, and when I glance at him, he shakes his head and motions with his hands that he’s not going to be of any help. I know, in time, she will come to understand. There is no doubt she is my mate. The one chosen for me before either of us was born. The one I’m meant to love and care for.
How she doesn’t see this makes no sense, but there is little I can do about it. The only worry I have now is protecting her long enough for her to realize the truth. I am hers and she is mine. We continue our travels, each of us retreating to our private thoughts as we focus on the journey.
The suns are low on the horizon. Shadows stretch across the sands and still we run. None of us have talked about Ladon or the missing Tribe. The losses are becoming too numerous to count.
Something happened on the Southern Continent sometime back when all communication was cut. Now the compound is destroyed, and only a handful of us remain. There are other outposts far away, but I have to assume that they fare no better.
Ladon wanted to attack the ship in the sky. The bunker that he uncovered holds many secrets, some even I, with all my knowledge, can only guess. There are weapons there that could aid us in turning the tide. Getting to them, understanding them, and activating them—each is a monumental task. Possibly impossible.
The City is under siege. They wait for us to weaken, but I suspect that they also wait for reinforcements. Equipment better suited to deal with the shield that protects the City.
It is full dark when we reach the door to the tunnels. Sverre opens it, and Shidan drops down first. Once he signals an all clear, Amara goes down, followed by Anna. I go and then Sverre. The journey through the tunnels takes place under a blanket of heavy silence. All of us know what comes next, and none of us want to face it.
Calista awaits.
17
Anna
“No,” Calista says.
She’s waiting at the door to the tunnel, arms crossed, cheeks stained with tears. Our small group looks one to another, but none of us speak. I expect Amara to step forward, she knows Calista better than I do, but she hangs her head and doesn’t move.
“No,” Calista says, shaking her head violently from side to side. “No, Damn it, no.”
“Calista,” I say, but I’ve got nothing.
Amara walks forward, arms in front of her, but Calista backs away. My chest constricts so tight I can’t breathe.
“No!” she screams, her voice trembling. “No. I told him. I told you all. No. No. No.”
Her voice cracks, and the dam she’s been holding back breaks. She drops to her knees, crying. Amara kneels and wraps her arms around her. Tears stream down my face too feeling her loss. I can’t look. It’s too painful, too personal. I’m an intruder in the worst moment of her life.
When I look away, my eyes light on Khabri. My heart thumps hard, and something shifts, as if the world locked into a new position.
What would it be like? Could I?
I can’t deny I’ve grown to like him. It started that he didn’t scare me, but that’s not all of it, at least not anymore.
I wipe the tears from my face and force a breath into my constricted lungs. It hurts. Calista is sobbing, still on her knees in Amara’s arms, and the sound of her grief is a siren’s call. A call that speaks not only of loss, but of love, deep and true.
It tears at my heart and soul. Ripping through my emotional shielding. I’m left defenseless before a raging storm of my own grief and loss. My knees quiver and my back spasms. I gasp, covering my face with my hands.
Images of all that I’ve lost parade behind my eyes. My friends, my home, people I didn’t have time to get to know before any such chance was lost. The mining settlement burning. The siege of the City. The empty caves and home of the Tribe. The Zmaj whose names I don’t even know, sacrificing themselves to save us humans.
Humans who hated them. Humans who don’t deserve such consideration, yet the Zmaj did so without hesitation. I’m choked up, barely able to get air past the lump in my throat. Calista’s grief has subsided to low sobs, but the pain in my chest pulses with a stabbing knife that is driving into my head.
I move to Khabri and place my hand on his chest. His eyes widen and his nostrils flare. I stare into his beautiful eyes. They’re deep pools of azure, shining bright with sharp intelligence, but deep in them is a fire. A fire I want to warm myself by.